Alleyways and Corridors and Other Frames of Mind, Ray Scott

 Alleyways and Corridors & other Frames of Mind

…Buskin’ from the Borderline

Won’t mean a thing at all

You can take away my light of day

You can take away my only way

Take the land right from my fall….

But take ‘way passion and it won’t mean a thing at all

Take away my crowns and jewels

Brands n’ bar codes, blind me like a fool

You can line me up against the wall….

Assassinate my soul and it wont mean a thing at all

Make me carry all your burdens
Leave me wandering uncertain
Exiled, naked, snow and famine
But with my memories there’s still vision

Take away my shooting stars
Take away no matter how far
You can take away my fleeting hope
If you take my dreams away it wont mean a thing at all

Wont mean a thing at all

Earthly Moments -

…and the tides, that I used to feel in her breathing, on my chest, while she slept, beneath the white willow; waving ore our minds, while flashing lights of consciousness brought hope and wonder, for what seemed a million lifetimes, for an earthly instant, sparkling stardust slowly kept, but there held gravity in her heavy eyes and worry for the moment, dulling out the nebulae. Our stolen moments, pulled away into the dense doldrums of the heavy, human day.

Then, each gasp, each responsive sigh, rowing against the current, splitting, gradually strengthening, repelling. We were kept in two dimensions, different, distant, drifting.

The break, not only in our busy day, but of the shore, as waters crossed its’ sinking sands of time and of age and of these rolling changes to our lives, in that very thirty minute melancholy as the sails set back

…and the wind, so swiftly carried her away.

Now, she is but the meadowlark meandering in and out of stain glass twilight mosaics over somber swaying wheat fields and in whirling maple keys that rain on the monarch of my collective,

…my glass globe memory is in all Earthly seasons, swirling.

Wile Lady West Lake Wanes

I found an angel in oh, so many ways

In Serene August moonlight on a sail dock of West Lake

Sparkling in the night, feeling so right

Starlight in her eyes from aurora northern skies

With no word or sign, the summer rushed by

While the cold air would close in, fantasy warmed our minds

Distance, we knew, would swell between us

Far off, in the wind, ‘tween reality and the rush

(Wounded spirits in waves of September blew in)

Look my way, take my hand

It’s alright

We’ll say goodbye all over tonight

Though I never kissed her, two ships sailed as one

On a calm lake of honesty lifetimes from where we’d come

Her nature, truly wonderful like the sunset and the moon glow

But I felt, from each wave still, imminent autumn frost winds blow

(Setting sun, like the anchor, sank so low)

Look my way, take my hand

It’s alright

Don’t say goodbye as we nearly kiss in the rain

Now I’m dropping the mast and drying my tears

Holding the anchor and drowning in fear

Look my way, take my hand

It’s alright

Say goodbye all over tonight

Look my way, take my hand

Cause it feels so right

Don’t say goodbye while we nearly kiss in the rain

While Lady Lake wanes

White Rose Angel 

White rose angel, magnificently divine

Gentle, warm, soft spirit

Skin, like petals; silky, cool

Her purity, unrefined

She unfurls in the morning sun

.. with me at dawn we are renewed, reborn, T’is my awakening

Shivering in September wind

.. though her beauty seems unaging

I would love to hold her to my heart and dream;

A somber sigh will warm her

i would hope to hear her sing to me while willows sway

before November blizzards take her

oh, does she call for me?

within the whirling echoes of sweet orchards

or is that merely haunting sounds of fools' gold dust, a’ blowing, shaking leaves in

endless acre rows, of torpor, turned

to russet where a fiercer fall winds' flowing

My White Rose Angel is it too late to save thee?

Until my morning comes

I am staring out my window into the heavy rain

Thinking I don’t know what love is other than pain

The willow tree a’ weeping, is in my memory

As I’m lost, alone and feeling so empty

Now I’ve done wrong, though I’ve made right

I don’t know which is worse

I keep following mirages, confusion is a curse

Well I’m crying on the inside, where I burry all my fear

And I’m wondering when will everything be clearer?

Well I’m feeling empty. And I’m waiting for the sun, could be of God…,

And I’m feeling empty, and I’m holding on until my morning comes

Now I’ve been back-doored and deserted. I guess I’ve deserted too

And there’s a million other reasons to be running back to feeling blue

All my running’s been in circles; see right through my clown disguise,

To the dark rings underneath my tired eyes

I’m feeling empty and I’m waiting for the sun…and

I’ll be holding on until my morning comes

Chasing with my eyes, my heart, my snow-globe mind, my soul…

…the fair-haired angel in my snow globe dream

Glittering, glowing through dusty nebulae of aurora snows, in winters' eve, serene

I lose you in and out of shadows

Daub-sheathed moonlight falls on white willow - hanging like autumn gallows

I run along the shale shore, chasing -

One more glance into your crystal eyes, so pure and true, honestly amazing

While the sky and lake erode the icy stars and sands that shine,

I reach up for your light, all smiling, warming me so deeply still,

While evening winds are waning, in all that is sublime…. Feel my new breath dreaming on your open aquamarine sea

That takes me to your springtime Shangri-La shrine.

Thursday Blue By Ray Scott

Blue are two worried eyes, Pale as a love starved child

Turned to a torpor gray, sadder than summer rain

Blue are the wrinkling waves, carrying dreams away

Far as these feelings go, you won’t let your hopelessness show

Rough as the raging sea, Thursday Blue

Blue is the sea all around

Helplessness holds you down

This roads’ dead end, Thursday Blue

Miles from tranquility, blue in uncertainty

Wells are the withheld tears, nowhere to cry you fear

Dream now Thursday blue, Friday awaits you

Blue are the far away eyes

Oceans of tears un-cried…..

Thursday blue Friday awaits you

Thursday blue Friday awaits you

Blue are two worried eyes

Lost as a love starved child

Sleep now Thursday Blue, Friday awaits you

Friday awaits you

Thursday blue

Ahhhh.

The News –

I hear a blind artist screaming at the sun every time I listen to the news

I hear of hurricane winds ripping through the world every time I listen to the news

I see a thousand soldiers dying in the desert every time that I watch the news

I see some politicians hollering for early elections every time that I watch the news

I think of constant fear that’s planted in my mind every time, every which way that I read into the news

And I’m told of jobs all gone in suffering economies every time that I read the news

I hear a child cry while bathing in the rain every time I listen to the news

And I hear the warplanes tearing up the smoggy, blood red sky…..

And I hear the prophets gathering on the burning oil mines

And I hear the millions fighting o’er religion till they die

Tumbling towers falling to the ground, a nation cries

Several more will suffer from these quakes, they’ll drown, they’ll die

Every time my mind is on the news

Every time I read too much into the news

Each and every time my mind is pulled into the sexy, slutty, news

And I think the news’ viewers are all soon road-kill, frozen in their headlines,

On the street, confused and lonely, out of place and entranced at deer-crossings

Every time I listen to the news

It’s all about what monsters take and twist up in their minds

And mulch in their machines while ripping up the countryside

Every time I listen to the news

The reverend says respect your leaders every single time

That I tell him what was on the news

The memory stays

In my sunny backyard, I reflect…

Time slips away, gone so fast, the memories stay

All I think of is the rain still sighing misty gray, ‘falls so softly, sad and lonely

Flowing for this late summer day

Waiting by the fire still glowing, embers smoldering, thinking the dream away

Gold and red and rust, crumbling leaves. September breeze blows me rose dust

The sighing fall wind kisses me while her spirit fades

I look into her welling eyes for the final time

She fades within the smoldering night

The memory stays

Her spirit seems to sing and cry in passing days and gentle times

In quiet fields of fireweed and fading light

I wish to hold her closely now. I don’t know how. So far away, the memory stays

The sighing fall wind chills me while she sings goodbye

I look on West Lake, somberly, with tears in my eyes. I now feel so alone.

I return home

Her memory (the memory)

They memory stays

In my sunny backyard

The Medicine -

The Medicine you’re taking?

I don’t want the medicine you’re takin’

I’ve grown swollen, shaky and lethargic while

The watch dog’s salivatin’

I can’t escape their institution but my soul is cryin,

I don’t want the medicine you’re takin’

Are we all dependent on the treatment?

Chemicals ingested

Are we force fed?

Infection

Have we all been lulled

In sullen sarcastical slumber

Dream-dulled,

Naked like a pop star;

Manufacturized and kept pacified?

I don’t want the medicine they’re makin’

(I don’t know who I am but)

I don’t want the medicine you’ve taken

Feed me

Feed me

The naked news

Diseasing

Diseasing

All our youth

Feed me

I don’t want the medicine

The Lady White Willow:

There is a tree on the ledge of shadow and moonlight, on the horizon of a haunting midnight in late January and she is called The Weeping White Willow and she is covered snow white and she is chiming with flakes of frost-ice. There is still warmth that stays, within her smile as she calls for me, every time I feel alone, with my roots anchored, kilometers deep in the dark, suffocating winter coffin of cold clay. I'm outside, a hundred below; I can feel her face, a warmer place when I'm walking with nowhere to go.

And she cries out, a ghostly shrill that whistles through my unsealed window

While her branches sway, brushing off the snowdrift on my soul and the collected conscious troubles of the repressed day.

And she’ll melt all away

On the snowed in ledge of languor where I lay

For when she takes my hand and holds me, where I finally face her

And when I see her waning eyes, like the moon; still gently shimmering from the sunrays

With my gentle heart, once frozen ‘Neath a glacier

My troubles drift away

Like the river rolling down a hill meanders

I rest assured that I am not alone

This place, so safe, so warm, Lady White Willow

And this moon is a looming ghost

And all these stars are frozen, lost souls

Of so very long ago

Burnt out, fallen, flares of blind hope

And the icy pond is a mirror of the giant, frozen sky craters, on life support of starlight

The reflection that the past is still alive

And of dreams represented

In the sky, by what we aim for, and we still have yet to find

Though when I touch her face

While the branches sway

Within warm, safe peace; a cradling embrace

Oh, for Lady, White Willow

I can, still feel her smile

Every time I’m there, I never am alone

For when I feel her sway

And whir the snow-dust slumber from my eyes

My soul can see tomorrow lights

Her softly weeping branches sway and sigh

While dawns’ new breaking light shines like the heavens,

Bright and warm upon my reawakened face

The Harlotten from Charlott’on

Well she's the Harlotten from Charlott’on' out on Prince Edwards’ Isl... She's missing 7 teeth but she'll sure hook ya’ with a that sexy deep-sea pearly girly smile! It's quite the awkward tale of how she hitch hiked from Turran’a, while a passenger on Trans-Can High, she'd reel n' jig and ride the rigs n rusty rods like taquilla temptresses in steamy tiajuana

She kneels, she bends, she’ll twirl and take, her meter's always runnin.' She's laid in every tater field and windstar, she's so stunnin! Now if she'd only change her raunchy, lacey jelly fishy knickers, the lads would stand to hold her close but she reeks of smelts and kippers.
She's the Harlot ten from Charlott’on; she's done the maratime well!
She’s so sexy as far as I tell if I weren’t blinded from her rotten smell
Well I'ze been to Marie's All Can Eat, n’ thrown up from the seafood
but this wee lass, like large mouth bass, has the trough me taste sinks into!
...

Harlot ten from Charlott’on;
she's travelled many miles
from clam diggers and camel toes, she’s calloused yet they’re my a' kinda' style!
And soon to be sweet mammy, I impreg’nated her,

As far as I remember, coulda’ been Captain Highliner.

(Cuz she’s my cod fish cuddly sweets and I shall take her as my wife
‘Though woe is me, when we’re wed at sea, to dodge the Green Peace protest ships I'll soon be divin’ overboard n’ swimmin’ with the fishes for my life!
She is the Harlot ten in Charlott’on and she surely is no fable.

We fell in love deep in the treelined trails of Anne's Green Gables.)

She’s broke a’ thousand hearts n’ box springs form the Sioux to Nova Scotia

N’ stolen all my cards n’ cash from Admiral Inn of Hamilton to the ferry ride of Victoria

But I still loves me sweetie Harley Charley Cod fish cuddle-kins

I’ll vow to always care for her no matter where ‘a she’s bin’

For she’s the only Harlotte I can say I’ze bin ta’ bed wit’

That cost a hundred, fitty’ bucks but cured up me’ tourette’ twitch!
*From Honey lovey dovey Harbour, to EastCoast Horsey Stable,
Surely, she’s no fable.

She’s me' cutesie juicy jellykneed, calamity-Queen,  Sweet Annie o’ Green Gables!
 

The Gypsy Seductress

There is an ashy, soft glow, sighing within her dazzling eyes

Behind her stone-gray wall, her gates and bridges; mystery’s’ princess cries

She’s a Gypsy Seductress, with Egyptian eyes

She is a sorceress and a firefly that mesmerizes, captivates, then hides

Just when you think you’ve finally found her book of spells

She whirls around you, holds you hypnotized

Gypsy Seductress a thief in the night

She’s an easy believer / deceive’ her, if you can never do her wrong

To be with her’s an effort, but don’t try to hard to love her, she’ll be moving on

Gypsy Seductress, strings you along

She wears a fools’ gold gown and silver; sparkling neath a crescent desert moon

If you stare too long, the violet sea will take her and you into its tomb

Around her neck, she wears ten thousand dried and emptied shattered shells

Her long, silk hair’s the colour of Egyptian sands; an alluring vale, she stares you in

But can you tell, to heaven or to hell?

Gypsy Seductress, she’s knows you all too well

If you stay too long inside her room of mirrors, the reflections will have won

Gypsy Seductress, She’ll eclipse you like the sun

Gypsy Seductress, wherever she came from

The Electric Ghost of Lady Violet

In the middle of the night, (middle of the night) where it’s so cold outside

The moon glow wanes but in flickering resurrection, like flashing candle light projection,

She’s a beacon through the smoke clouds of my minds’ corrupted eyesight

Through weeping stardust, whispering (whispering wind)

Brume-spray, drone of goodnight to drown out the shivering wick

The misty wind so mellow (mellow)

The willow trees sway; sighing branches scratch the wires like the bow across the cellos

The waves of Lady Violet

The Power of Lady Violet

It’s all that I must know

Where is Lady Violet?

Where has she gone?

She calls for me when I fall deep into an autumn full moon sleep

I feel her spirit come to me. Her presence, blinding, prevents any visions of the angels

I must see

I feel the touch of Lady Violet burning right through me

The hand of Lady Violet

Deeply, Lady Violet

Oh.,

(repeat chorus)

Steel-snake Blues

Train – train - train of trouble we all ride
prisoners on railcars of the state of mistakes
Blame - blame - blame no one will ever take
Train, train take me home tonight
Railway rage, mechanical earthquake
Tracks of fire, ten thousand tone steel snake
Thunderous speed that rips through rough terrain
We're all tortured on that train
The black skies flashing like a million funhouse mirrors
White lightning cracking while tsunamis crash and roar
Ripping wind. Screaming steam

All aboard, it won't discriminate
One way ride, the train collects its' freight
Gang lords, pimps and politicians too
Train is taking all of you
The heavens lash back like a whip, so deafening
The stars are smashed and burn in angry acid seas
Diamond dust, drowning dreams

Rattling the church walls far and wide
Roaring beast, splitting the countryside
Judgment day is finally arrived
Train, train I don't wanna’ die
Woo, Woo....
…Homeless child, forgotten tonight
Blind and frozen in the engine's light
bleeding from the ol' wounds on the track
Train roars right across his back
Train - train - train of sins we all deny
Rides to Rome to relive mans' demise
Snake of steel with tearing metal teeth
eating way, the toll bridge of eternity--
Train - train train, I don't wanna die!
Train – train, take me home tonight
Train, train take me home tonight

Standoff at Argyle St.

There's a development halt up on Argyle St.
Bridges burned, Police retreat
Demonstrators, angry masses
Pushing vans off the overpasses

Government is not resolving
Land claims, how their word means nothing!
Officers with injuries
Can no longer keep the peace

It's a standoff at Argyle St.
Over land at Douglass creek
Children waving metal pipes
It's their land cuz’ it's their right
Every Acre
Big blockades and schools are closing
Everybody stands there watching, all are posing
Band leaders with crowbars waving
Tire fire towers blazing

It's a standoff at Argyle St.
Over land at Douglass Creek
Children Waving metal pipes
It's their land or it's their lives
They had it stolen
ahhhh aye aye yee-aye
Who's business is it. Do we know?
The doors to every office closed
Protestors take back control
Greed, hate and rage explode!
Chorus
It's their land or it's their life!

Sierras’ Sorrow / It’s A Living

Tonight a young woman cries

But it's a living

It's Sierras' sorrow. The tears she can't hide

She is deeper in debt with each hand on her thigh

Temptress in turmoil, seductress in shames' chains, enslaved

Enslaved

She feeds on his company, of limited value but she'll feed his sick need

She is barely alive; sustained by addiction

The bitter stench of sloth fills the room

But she somehow survives; undressing on stage

She crawls naked and so objectified

But she is proud in her show glitter

She wears

Apathy in her eyes, glazed

Her lost youth turns to ash in the tray

At the edge of the stage

Where she crawls, gathering change

Sierras’ life scattered on the floor;

A few loose lacy things and a couple of fancy high-heeled shoes

She counts all her money and leaves

Sucking on her pacifier

In a haze of body spray, beer, mist and smoking cigarettes

But she turns at the end of her set and whispers in his ear

Are you ready for your private dance yet Daddy?

Sugar Daddy

Self medicating Daddy.

Oh it’s a living

For the Devils’ gotta’ holda’ me, tearin’ a Hamilton Strip outta’ Barton Street

The Devil’s gotta’ hold on me, Private eyes, cross the Canal on me

The monsters can’t wait to maul me

Take their money, so seductively

Devils’ got his dick in me

Why won’t my daddy rescue me!

From Barbie dolls to Music-Vids

From playhouse to inner-city skids

A ballerina pole-dance princess slowly, deeply, sadly dies

Such sorrow in Sierras’ eyes

Such sorrow in Sierras’ eyes

Oh… such sorrow but it’s a living

Tonight Sierra’s so high

Wasting away

It is her compromise

She wanted so much

She needed the chance

Now it’s her circumstance, in the change room mirror, behind the D.J. booth, bare naked, alone without a home, she cries,

Survive! Survive! Survive!

But it’s a living, Sierra cries

Factory

We’re all living in a factory; we’re all living in a factory

Homeless Hans he’s a site to see

He’s a lotto ticket addict

Shopping for used groceries

He mumbles and stares at his muddy shoes

While the empty bottles in his plastic bag knock together

Like the cahiers’ knees while she asks him to leave

Wondering will he refuse

He’s of no fixed address

N’ he’s the number one suspect

Of arson at the Preece Family Refuge

On Barton Street

We’re all living in a factory

We’re all living in a factory

And I can taste it on my tongue

I can smell it in the Janu-air

As I run along the waterfront and chase the pyres and vapor trails

We’re all living in a factory

A long way from home

A long, long way from home

Motherless Children; You and me

A long, long way from home

Sens-icle

Sometimes, the more I try and make sense out of something,

the further from sense and some thing, I drift

with the more effort I write into it.

Like rowing against a strengthening current.

I am a bruised and battered Shuswap salmon;

running the rocky stream to create eventual smoked, canned and grilled cognitions.

But I've already lost my up-stream of thought.

Roamin’ Lonely Roads –

Century’s’ silver maple tree, aging at my window

Contemplating fallen leaves, flipside never seems to glow

I’m going it alone this time. Please don’t try to know my mind (just don’t say anything)

Never could make wrong from right. Leaving my whole world tonight

N’ I know the sun is shining

N’ I’ve seen the darkest skies – Lord knows

Names to placeless, blinded full moon eyes

Roamin’ lonely roads

I tried so hard or not at all

Now, I’m dyin’ stand or fall

In thee empty night, alone

Tramps, a million miles from home

Don’t turn around, please dry your tears

I need the guilt to disappear

N’ I know, the sun is shining

Now, I’ve seen the darkest skies, Lord knows,

All the pain I feel has left me lost n’ roamin’ lonely roads

All the pain I feel has left me lost a’ roamin’ lonely roads

November Sun

November sun, smoldering in twilight glow and burnt up dusk

Echoing cry, an icy banshee wind, blowing frost-dust

The moon’s a ghost, looming all day

Into the night, I’m haunted through each phase

Diminished sun, beyond the mountain’s peek

The winter’s come

Standing alone, here I am lost for who’s to guide me home?

Caught in the past, lost in today

The future’s clouded, I don’t wanna’ fade away

November sun, beyond the evergreens, the winter’s come

Forgotten sun, (forsaken son) la la dee la di laye …. Oohhh oh

October Eyes

The glittering dust storm squalls
Evening requiem's banshee calls
Her waning wind is whirling round
Fallen russet leaves lay withering on the ground

Where I am lost inside
The smoky serenade of autumn cries
I watch through burnt out eyes
As she sails away while summer dies

And what else can I do
To find out what is true
And all the love I knew
I gave it all to you

I mourn her all the time
Following endlessly - her ashy shoreline
The crystal casket of September sways
Waves of sorrow wash her away

solo

Forsaken neath the willow tree
the twilight spirit sings through me
I cry to this mystic moon

I dream that I'm renewed

Chorus

October Eyes
October Eyes
I gave it all to youMutaz Abu-Ramadam

Mutaz Abu-Ramadam

Mutaz Abu-Ramadam

You thought I was your only friend

But I never helped you in the end

They made you fear the high school hall

He kicked your chair, "Go back!" He'd call

I stood with them while they stole your boots

Those ignorant attacks on you

Mutaz Abu-Ramadam

Mutaz Abu-Rama..DAMN!

You thought I was a friend...

Man! I should've been a friend!

Your family held out their hand

But now I am a lonely man

You're still my favourite refugee

I never helped to set you free

ABU!

Abu!

They ridiculed your Palestine

That coward wolf packs' hating kind

They all thought with insecure minds

As one! So fearful, frozen there was I

Your Bully, Boroff’s now a U.S Cop

'Been told his hating hasn't stopped

Abu!

I should've stood and fought with you

Oh. Abu!

'Never really was a friend to you

Mutaz Abu-Ramadam....

Mutaz Abu-Rama---DAMN...

I sat right next to him

Should have put a stop to him

You were my favourite refugee

You thought you had a friend in me

But I did nothing to help set you free

I was the first one to be kind to you

But I never was a friend to you

Confidant

Allies?

Brotherhood of men?

Your family offered friendship first

Crab Apples fell next to the Tree Where I stood

I could've, would've should've helped you then

But Walt Whitmans' road it just ain't really open

Abu!

Mutaz Abu-Ramadam....

Love Went Away

It’s hard to think about it now; I gave so much just to furl in sorrows’ shroud

And now I stand, so far behind, asking myself, “How could I have been so blind?”

I gave my soul and so much more but I lost the games

Too much trust and self doubt were to blame

I tried so hard to make things right

Over and over, every day I had to fight

I close my eyes as I try to disappear

All the while I have been so damned sincere

I turned around and love went away

To be alone, stranded outside of the room we once waltzed into

In some other frame of mind

I’d rush right home, only for her

But is that true, or did it just make me lonelier?

Chorus / stop the tears…

And as I fell into lost hope, within cold streets, shattered dreams knocked me down

Addressed myself in disarray. I now know that I was not sane. I was not sane!

Jacqueline

I’d tell her how I feel right now, if I knew exactly how, without sounding this confused

I’d tell her what she needs to know, if I could let my feelings show

It’s her that I’m afraid to lose

Jacqueline

For now I’ll hesitate to write, letters to her every night, fearing that I’ll complicate things

I’ll call her name out everywhere, accept that she can’t hear me there

Believing that she’ll reappear

Jacqueline – I need her here with me

Someday when it’s all made right, I’ll begin to hold her tight

And ask her if she will forgive me

Need to have her by my side, need to hear her happy voice,

Need to be the one she marries

Jacqueline - repeat

Illusions     

Am I projecting your illusion as you smile and saunter by?

Am I self-subjecting to a second-hand smoke, clouding up my eyes?

I am nervous. I’m delighted and surprised when you appear

I’m tied in knots and clumsy, then, caught fumbling in fear

For when you look in my direction I feel butterflies

Fooling, for a moments’ millionth, as you smile, my own vacillating mind

I simply can’t remember when I’ve felt this way before

Even if this image is just only what I burn for

When all the while, all those looks, were looks and nothing more

And for the past few tears, I’ve sighed, from time to time to time

This reoccurring dream of you, have I merely dreamt it

For to cherish and adore?

I’m Still Holding this Rose

I’m holding this Rose, when everything is silent

The entire garden is withered

And outside is a blizzard

Standin’ outside, forgetting where the time went

And the flowers that they all sent

In my dreams, I kiss her,

Thought of lost memories, terrifying

As I roam off into the sunset

Pray; whenever I rise, to meet again

I’m still holding my Rose

I’m holding my Rose out on your veranda

The Garden is empty

Dead leaves all around me

The curtain’s still slightly open

Close my eyes and hear her sing accapella

My heart melts while I’m frozen

Suspended in a moment

I dance with her spirit

While I’m holding this Rose

I’m holding my Rose

I’m holding my Rose

I’m holding my Rose as I’m sinking down in wet sands

I’m reaching up with both hands

Crying out across Lake Ontario

Empty echoes of the moon glow

The waves rush, my tears flow

When I close my eyes,

I’m holding my Rose         

Climb mountains to reach her

Burn bridges to see her

Cross oceans to find her

Fly to the Heavens to hold her

When I stop falling, I’ll be holding my Rose

Whenever I rise, I’ll be holding my Rose

Rose

I will catch you when you fall

Oh Princess, Taylor-Rae

Your daddy loves you more each day

And I know, it won’t be long before I hold you in my arms

As you breathe each breath of life, I will hold you to my heart

And when you cry, I’ll sing this song, to softly soothe you till your tears are gone

When you dream, just dream away

Don’t let life stop you any day

And if you walk before you crawl, I will catch you when you fall.

I will catch you when you fall

Oh when you open up those eyes, you will see me start to cry

The tears that fall, they’re pure and true, because forever I will love you

I’ll keep you warm when you get cold

I’m your daddy, heart and soul

And when you’re frightened late at night, I’ll be right there, I am your nightlight

And when you dream, just dream away

Don’t let life stop you any day

And if you walk before you crawl, I will catch you when you fall

I will catch you when you fall

I will catch you when you fall

Horizon

Within this shivering shrill, forsaken, in this twilight where I am taken

Aging in the after glow. Far beyond the dusk I go

Rowing out against the moon. Heavy cloud of conscience looms

Where I’m anchored by the past, falling is the mast

Horizon – Rise again for me

Horizon – Spirit set me free

Buried by the circumstance, million miles away from land

I am capsized out at sea. Sunlight set me free

Horizon – Rise again for me

Horizon – Spirit set me free

Falling deep in layers of blue. Taken to the end

Hanging on the planets’ edge; Falling

Falling again…Over and over…

Graybeard the Trench coat Prophet

He carelessly strays through the dangerous lane
I hear nothing but the static fuzz of his chalk white eyes wane
He meanders, unfazed, like oblivion but sane
Waxing a sermon to the hunting shift-working game
Along Queen st. Between York and Main

He staggers and mumbles, then swaggers and stumbles
He pouts, then stares, fixes glares through me then he shouts
He's a broken down rolls Royce
Through a buzz of swarming vehicles, echoes his voice
Like empty lost sea shells
He writhes like a worm on a sewer well

He's graybeard the trench coat prophet
He's the foreshadowing fool of ol' Hammer town
He's graybeard the trench coat prophet
He never can be run down
Nobody will knock him down

He's hollering out like some poor ol’ sick fool
In the traffic at rush hour the message is tragic
Like wizardry, witchcraft, dark pantomime magic,
It's a dagger of the mind,
To be or not to be
We all drone on and pass it

He must've escaped from the mountain nut house
We say to our doubting, fearful, blanched, blank selves
While we anxiously spy through our rearview and steer
Toward each and every separately crammed wartime shithouse
While he disappears

He's graybeard the trench coat prophet
He's the fool who knows all in Hammer town
He's graybeard, the trench coat prophet
Nobody can knock him down
He never will be knocked down
Nobody will ever run him down!

Graybeard cries in the night

Graybeard roams in and then out of our lives

I Bow Down To Her Forever – By Ray Scott

She never will forget the days and nights I loved her and I never lied

But she never will remember all the times she hollered that she hoped I died.

I’d slam the door and turn the key

Then drive alone all day until I cried

I’d turn around, I’d play the clown

Out in her hallway, I apologized, on which she thrived

Every time I see her, I try so hard to stand up but I fall

Hear my plea

I fight so hard for peace but all this fighting’s knocked me down onto my knees

Ironically

I keep falling – to my knees

Bowing down to – her forever

I bow down to – her forever

I’m anxious as a suicide. I’m gridlocked in a guillotine of pride

But I can’t hide, how hard I’ve tried

Bowing down before her as I kiss her hand, I’m sinking deep inside

Performing like a circus freak; a hundred-thousand hectic high-wire feats

Balancing and juggling my emotions while the world beneath me spins – rapidly

Every time I see her, I try so hard to stand but I keep falling – miserably

I fight so hard to be at peace but all this war has thrashed me to my knees – Reality

I keep falling – to my knees

Bowing down to – her forever

I bow down – to – her forever

To her forever

Golden Woman

for the golden lady in a moonlit beam
floating high throughout my dreams
I roam, I run to higher hills
to watch her starry eyes fulfill
the midnight with a million stars
that gleam and dance so close, yet far
my will is weakening in this dawn
that breaks and burns her image, gone!
my eyes wide open, mind remembering
heart lamenting, soul still trembling
she was golden, in the moon
floating high above me in this frozen tomb
dream, dream, I dream away
my empty days till, till her vision stays
scream, scream into the sun
I blind my eyes till just midnight comes
to hear her spirit dance and sing
and golden hair whir cosmic rings
round my soul that comfortably lays
in hills of daisies so close but still so far, so far away,
from her, my golden dream, I stay

Dreams?

I want to travel the world and find out what all the different people, in different cultures yearn for, long to be and dream of. Are we really, truly, in essence dreaming or aspiring if it is merely a condition to which we are exposed and groomed? Have we dreams of our own or just of a gigantic super wheel that collects our brains in revolution and rolls on, with manipulated magnetic force; opposing gravity and all that is cosmic, collective and realistically attainable, in orbit?

Factory - edit II:

We’re all living in a factory; we’re all living in a factory

Homeless Hungry Hobo, he’s a site to see

He’s a lotto ticket addict

A Rolly Rocket fanatic

Shopping for used groceries

He mumbles and stares at his muddy shoes

While the empty bottles in his plastic bag knock together

Like the cahiers’ knees while she asks him to leave

Wondering will he refuse/

He’s of no fixed address

N’he’s the number one suspect

Of arson at the Preece Family Refuge

On Barton Street

We’re all living in a factory

We’re all living in a factory

And I can taste it on my tongue

I can smell it in the Janu-air

As I run along the waterfront and chase the pyres and vapor trails

We’re all living in a factory

A long way from home

A long way from home

Motherless Children; You and me

A long way from home

‘Go into the mass’ve machine like unique scruffy tramps

‘Come out; carrying the brief case, dressed in fancy shirts,

Wearing universal bar code stamps

Empty Alley

Ran away at age 15. Could not live in a violent scene

Only seven months ago, grown so fast, fixing in the freezing snow

Raking dry veins all the time. Empty alleys, shards of shattered minds, and dreams???

Sleeps in shelters between each crime, only just sustains the obsessions while she’s clean

She’s naked and alone with the triggers in her arm

Shooting numbness in her blood, through her bones

Rapid aging in her eyes, as they close, her body falls                  

The child within her cries, the girl within her dies

She ran away from everything. That was when she was fifteen

Runs in circles still, today, takes to numb the pain away

She’s naked and alone, with the triggers in her arm

Shooting numbness in her blood through her bones

Rapid aging in her eyes. As they close, her body falls

The child within her cries, the girl within her writhes

Stares forever in the glass. Shakes her head then breaks the flask

So cold, so God damn cold, empty alley gale wind blows

She’s naked and alone with the triggers in her mind

Shooting numbness in her veins in her life

Rapid aging in her soul, looks a hundred more years old

The child within her cries

The girl within her dies

Bye bye

Dr. Irving?

Ah, well – I’ve been a liar, I’ve been a leaver, I’ve been a fool

I’ve smoked in alleys, seen hookers jones in hotel rooms

And all along this course of self destruction, it’s been clear

In disarray, I’m driving in and out of consciousness, along Barton Street

While this ego voice speaks hauntingly sincere

I can hear Dr. Irving say; “Take good care of yourself, Ray.”

Please take good care of yourself Ray

Take good care of yourself Ray

I’ve kept distracted by deceivers young and old

All drunk, corrupted, cried to hookers while they stole

I’ve never thrown away so much of my sweet precious life

Can’t even think straight in this raging sea of strife

Wrong from right’s all outta’ sight

The Devil’s got his hold on me

And I can’t let him win

Will he ever set me free! I rarely now hear Dr. Irving say, Just take good care of yourself Ray,

Just do what she says and park the car, while she steals from you and runs away!

Just go home, right now and don’t go back

Please, take good care of yourself,

Ray!

Deep into that alleyway I roam, so far away…I fade into that white smoke, only them and I can see or smell and it is Hell, right in the street, right at my door, so far away??? Can barely hear Dr. Irving say; “Take good care of yourself, Ray.”

Please take good care of yourself, Ray

Take good care of yourself, “Ray!”

Donavins’ Invitation

Link by link and chain by chain
in every situation, I have been enslaved
Walk away then turn around
in circles, juggling nerve ends
While I break away
Taken by the ice, in the windy night
but I'll return by day
On my knees and pray,
Someone rescue me
Make my mind for me
I can't even see the rain
But it keeps falling down
Sinking in the ground
in the heavy clay
Once again, I’ll stay
Some fun holiday
Close my eyes and think away
the circumstances, crazier, each then before
Sleep awake and shuffle on through snowy alleys, winding up at her back door
She'll make me crawl in then,
I'll make love to her
Take all blame for her
And be a fool again
and love myself much less
It's what I do best Ohhhhh - Ohhhh.......
I can't even see the rain
but it keeps falling down
in the heavy ground
Sinking in the clay
once again I'll stay
Misery pulls me in her wave
scratched up in the sand
twisting up my thoughts
wearing me away
I may drown but I'll stay
I escape through fantasy that someday may be my perfect reality
If I wake from this dream, will my
perfect princess gently kiss
and cradle me…..

Dancin' Mike -

In steppin time, light hearted

How he taps to the songs of the open road

A smiler and a poet

Who the Drop-In Center's come to know

Dancin' Mike Dancin' Mike

James North Art Crawl...There he goes

Left foot - Right foot - No headphones

Fracas free in fancy shoes

Kickin' stones to his own grooves

What else has he got to lose?

Dancin' Mike Dancin' Mike

Loads o' charm

He means no harm

It's how he roams

Leave him alone

East side - West side Steppin' Time

Turns left - Slides right - Fall in line

Tappin' downtown Hamilton

Dance with Mike in Unison

Dancin' Mike

Dancin' Mike

Come rescue me Louise

Look gently on me Louise, curiously, but do not speak

Come softly and just listen. Hold me while I weep

Well I’m worried and I’m wounded and my world’s forsaken me

Lost at sea, I’m sadly stranded. Swim to me Louise

And I truly cannot rest there, where the waves crash down on me

And my life’s caught in a mind snare; holding onto memories, wounding me

Louise

Help me paddle back my canoe, ‘gainst the raging waves of blue

While I’m struggling to keep pace with you through this endless whirling sea

But there’s a meadowlark a’singin’, where the winds sigh through a wheat field

And the horizon’s light it golden, where all my dreams are real

It’s where I feel, it’s where I hold

Louise

Buck Rogers of the 11 dimensions

Am I just frozen here in suspended animation?

Am I just a series of strings in all directions?

Vibrating sounds

Gravitations endless distance unwound

Human race

Just floating bubbles

In this spontaneous vast space

More and more dimensions

Without me

Will we go on forever and never?

Without beginning without end

Floating beyond the black holes

Questioning, questioning

Over and over again

Are we just specks of dust?

Bang - Bang

A big… Big-Bang!

Coaster Ride

I feel the wind die

As your roller coaster climbs / my soul is caught inside

Slowly dragged up to the peak

Every inch, the more I'm weak

And I can't even speak

Overhanging Hells' high edge

Lookin' down a million miles

Future-down a deep death dive

through a thousand high-speed loops

And my mind is strapped inside

And the harness has my life

Coaster ride - Caught up in your roller coaster ride

Though I can't afford to loose

I'll never win inside your loops

So much at stake, yet so much more

Then what the hell did i climb in for!

Coaster Ride - Caught up in your roller coaster ride

Will I ever make it out alive?

Maybe all is just a dream

Maybe I'll wake from this dream...

B.C. Hills

Every time I dream of you, I think what could’ve been

Together in our cabin in that north Ontario scene

I flew on the plane of loneliness across the western line

As the tears fell for the first love left behind

From the landing strip in Kelowna to the Kamloops winding drive

I saw you in the sunset, couldn’t get you off my mind

I look upon the evergreens while sitting by the fire

Ol’ Feelings swell then turn to twilight pyres

I’m up and down the B.C hills from peeks to valleys all the time

Rippling Clear Lake memories in my North Ontario mind

B.C. hills can’t hide

Autumn leaves have fallen and the winter winds whirl in

Colorful realities, I won’t see you again

We held hands for a short while, it seemed a million years

I always will remember through the years

Well I’m all alone and wondering what my future’s all about

As I gaze into the embers burning out

Rippling reminders in the Shuswap, in Eagle Bay

Shuttering hawk cry chills me in my north Ontario mind

Up and down the B.C hills from peeks to valleys all the time

Rippling Clear Lake memories in my north Ontario mind

That B.C. hills won’t hide

Ashes to Ashes –

I'm just trying to help you see things right. Give me a break

Please try to understand all that I've given you

and how much more that I can't take

Oh, what else can I do!

I feel so awfully all alone

and I'm used up, burnt out, all worn out to my every aching bone

And wound, so tightly, to my spine, hell, all the screws;

You've twist into my overloaded, troubled, nervous mind.

Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust, the bully is gonna' burn me up before I wear to rust

In hurricanes of hell-wind tantrum fuss

Ah, I'm just about all burnt up to my boiling point. I'll over heat and bake

Battered, bashed, humiliated, harassed throughout every single day

And still, I'm just disturbed and weak enough; returning to it. God! For Heavens' sake!

All my hairs are goin' gray

With everything there is at stake, I'm thinking in paralysis and tortured in a vortex state

Punched out by the shadow puppets

Hanging limp and listless in the gallows' noose

with head in sac and eyes a' poppin' out

And legs already dead and anchored to Hells' opening gates

Ashes to ashes

Dust to dust

The final board beneath me busts

And down into your underworld I go

Ashes to ashes

Dust to dust

Excuses to not set myself free,

all thrown out in tantrum fuss

No longer own the will, or can or must

Only ashes to ashes, dust to dust

Angry house / Angry boy

capo 2^nd fret playing e minor

Oh eight year old, in second grade   
with blazing eyes and fists of rage
Who will teach you wrong from right
and who will tuck you in at night?

Are you loved, is it for sure
That where you live, the home's secure?
Why must you strike another child, and cause him fear and act so wild?

Angry house / Angry Boy so blue
Is there nothing I can do for you?

Who has taught you all these "rules"
That lead to violence in our schools?
Is there any getting through?
Is it hopeless trying to?

Where oh where now will you go?
Into what adult (person) will you grow?

Angry house / Angry Boy so blue
Is there nowhere left to turn for you?

Amour fate’

The leaves on the branches are gone, all my false securities fade

I swear not to dream anymore, fulfillment is so far away

The dead season’s now where I’ve lain

My lonely soul wears frozen ice chains

The howling wind is haunting my mind

And I don’t think I will ever see springtime

Hey - ey – aye-eeh.

I stand alone, watching and weeping

The sunlight rising and setting

Over and over again

With each new dawn, a new day regretting

Most new love redeems what was lost

Naked branches are covered by frost

The sunlight will melt all away

Infinite amour fate’

A Right Friend - For My Daughter, Taylor-Rae

It is far better to have no friends than wrong friends

And I choose to make the right friends

Who is a “Right friend,” you ask?

A “Right Friend” is a nice friend,

who is good for me

And I’m good to them

For I don’t hurt their feelings

And they don’t hurt mine

“Right Friends” will last

For a long, long time.

Old or new, they’re someone true

Always and presently,

Or all that I have, a good friend, a “Right Friend”

Is someone much like and most certainly

You

Broken Antiques

Morning smoke from smoldering streets

A burnt out night, horizon steeps

Sunrays flash the lifeline pulse through clustering clouds
Shadow tramps crawl back in alley shrouds
Kicking pennies; shuffling
Warn now, from the suffering
Window shopping for my lost self
Endless antiques bending bookshelves

I have taken a long look
way down Locke St. while she steeps
One man's junk. One man's story
One man's pain. One man's glory
All these broken antiques

Transient Shoppes and cafe' stops
Where strangers type on their lap tops
Coming, going, all along, the West Town keeps the money flowing

I have taken a sip from their fortunes, recently. I have thrown away treasures
Now ol' faded antiques (old and new; they all made me the one I once knew)
I have taken a long look
Way down Locke St. while she seeps
One man's junk, One man's story
One man laughs, One man weeps
So much pain.

The Taverns’ glory

All these broken antiques

Singin’ for Change / The Other Side of the Coin

Well I’m a’ singin’ for change

But I don’t know who I’m singin’ to

When I can’t make change for a strugglin’ man

With empty Starbucks cup in hand

We’re all a’ hollerin’ out for change

Wherever we live and whatever, whoever it’s for

While a’ chasin’ our G.Ps ‘cross Locke St.

For free advice to help us sleep

Into Madison Ave. from Goodness Me

Oh… Good Shepherds…

We’re all focused for change

While everything is so the same

While the guy with the cup roams through four lanes

With the Silver Chalice, on Queen n’ Main

He’s the guy with the cup

He’s beggin’ for change

Property manager’s across the lane

Oh Shepherd…

He’s the guy with the cup

He is singin’ for change

We’ve already drank from

It’s already stained

The guy with the cup on Queen n’ Main

We have already drank from, it’s already drained

Feed the hungry

House the homeless

Clothe the naked

Love the unloved

Feed the hungry

House the homeless

Clothe the naked

Love the loveless

He’s singin’ for Change.

The Property Manager is across the lane.

                                                                                                                      

Stronghold

Within this gentle spirits' bodys' beaten mind

Strongholds of evil reoccur

for every beat of my anxious heart

through day and night and thunderous flash flood it endures,

The cycle dies and seasons fade

All is reborn but not anew

Marionette strings tighten on

another catastrophic conscience abduction

another cycle swings, twists and turns then loops

through every harnessed, strapped-in nightmare dive

and torturous corkscrew whiplash swirl

I'm ripped and rammed then hurled

through fiberglass and pounding pipes and ferocious phantom flames

I'm captured by barbaric stronghold games

Let still redeem

my love for what or where or better yet, for... who?

after all that pain and still, this HELL that all this stronghold has put me through

Duped by day, Deceived by night

Naked

Wasted

Taken

Again

Instrument of your deception

Castrated, manipulated, emasculated

in front of the kids and then

I'm dragged in once again

I cannot ever win

My world is caving in

I'm losing everything

Your metaphoric drug addiction is my suffering

Naked

Wasted

Taken

Again

Alienated

humiliated

devastated

Again

and

Again

\

Twisted

Listless

Stop signs

Going by

Tearful

Pent up

Shaking

Can't cry

Perhaps my biggest question -

Is resiliency something that I can still be taught
Or is defeat something that I have already learned?

Ray Scott’s Daily Affirmation:

If I can't laugh at myself... everyone else won't have company.

Scene –

…turned down again from the scene, from which i was "removed from for too long." Why did I ever leave? What about my mental and emotional trials, victories? What about the fact that I stayed home to take care of what's most precious to me! How can I still be seen??? Have I left the scene or has the scene abandoned me?

…don't quite fit the other scenes and the familiar ones aren't quite that familiar anymore, after all. From bottling lines, to youth work too, I’ve been down every avenue.

…a slow, long and painful fall

To answer your question,

The Sky in my world –

The sky in my world is a powerful magnetic electrical storm
tearing me off the ground with it's frantic vain of cracking lightning!
Trees explode around me while my hairs stand up
just before the wind dies down and I’m sucked into a swirling, heavy, galactic black gravity ball
of ambivalence, that clouds in and contracts around me
in a cement world that will be flooded soon enough, again
and blown away by furious gales of bursting, banging thundering force
a funhouse mirror flashing nightmare, tremors through my mind,
the fear that null and voids me where I stand in deep, dark inches of histrionic tsunami water waves
and heavy rain of maple keys from my yards' tree that are shaken by the omnipotent ancient choking hand of God fear.

Pleistocene Parade –

These words are no longer for you

I’ve given up on them not getting through

If I am looking for justice or fairness,

I am not ever going to get it

That much is forever going to remain true

If I am in search of my kingdom of riches,

There will never be another soul to share with,

If I am looking for my princess or queen Guinevere,

I am hoping to live in nothing more than an ancient illusion or dream

In some empty, dark and absurd theatre,

An abused and abandoned tragedy

An Inner- city ghetto scene; Morgana's Camelot

If I’m wanting to change things,

I’ll need to change me

If it’s possible, I don’t know

If at all attainable, is she or am I,

Again, I just don’t know

Are the means to an end or are ends to a mean?

Does anyone out here, there what I mean?

I am such a clown; in the plasticene parade

Farcical portrayal; playing sarcastical charades

Should I set out in my canoe?

Shall I follow the birds astray?

Will I leave all; to float in the middle of my thoughts

While the ripples wash me away?

Juggling on stilts, stumbling over the muted tramps

(Carnival crowd laughs away)

Tears on my painted face; burning a lifeline tear

(In the absurd circus, I fade)

Can so many colours disappear?

Can so many years wash away?

Singin’ for Change –

Well I’m a singin’ for change but I don’t know who I’m singin’ to
When I can’t make change for a dollar anymore now how bout you?

I can’t throw change at a desolate juggler at the street festival of fools
We’re all focused on change when our fear is used to subdue and sedate
Us; all kept, carefully, hiding in our helpless alleys; wringing out distain

We’re all a’ hollering’ out for change but where do we live and who or what is it for
When Kenyan kids are dying from counterfeit pushers’ profits, 40 billion or more
Here we are a’ fallin’ through the cracks in another world, where we cannot compare
How evil will lurk everywhere, it’s in fancy politics and fancy suits
It’s all dressed the same way here or there

The underdog alone cannot survive where evil thrives
Infecting mosquito flies in swarms and swarms of tricks and lies
All ye greedy cowards crawl from neath the rocks where you all hide
Come out from neath your desk, hear the underdog protest!
(Your serum spreads the resistant strains while nations choke and cry in vain) (In confusions’ clouds of chalk dust; psychologically slain)

So how then does one now make change,
Young Cancer Scientist in the research school?
N’ you: singin’ scrutinist village fool who shares the message on the podium bar stool
Be careful, don’t prescribe, n’ swallow up your pills, no North American’s ill
There’s no apparent resistant strain from our side.
We’ll just wait until a business traveler dies.

Oh oh oh… I’m afraid of changin’ cuz I don’t know how to!
They give me more of what they say they will cure!
How bout you?

Ohh. Oh oh… Shepherds:

Feeding the hungry, housing the homeless
Clothing the naked loving the unloved. (Repeat)

Globes of Glass

There's a world in a globe made of glass

That I cling to as long as the glitter-snows last

In a flurry of forgetting I will shake up some memories

Till the magic falls slowly while I stand, stranded in the past

There is a dream I keep cradled in my hands

While I fall through the hourglass sands

As long as I'm moving, regardless of choosing

My soul shines in the glittering globe made of glass

Memories of music and metaphor rhyming

oceans ubiquitous, open mind, gliding

always a new dream to live in unbending

following helplessly, hopeful, not ending

Memory shrine of glass

If I stop, if I give in I will fade

Falling through cracks in charms' masquerade

As the old man with young dreams, some lost, some last

With my grip on my smoldering memory shrine, my globe made of glass

Glittering snow-globe of glass

Pardon the Interruption,

Have you ever heard the echoing cry off the rolling full-moon midnight ocean tide?
Or listened to auroras waning ‘cross the flashing frost-wind northern sky?
As the oxygen in the halted waters runs out off the Gulf of Mexico’s’ shores
On a brighter note, Alberta tar sands are not lookin’ all that dirty anymore

Have you struggled to remain afloat in sulfurous Sea where all you need’s to breathe?
While multibillion industries are counterfeiting chalk pills n’ spreading disease
For when these ships come in, they’ll be fighting roaring fires on the water
While dolphins wash to shore and choke in black quicksand
In a trail of smog n’ smoky carbon vapor
As Green Peace once again attempts to rescue Sea-Womans’ vulnerable offspring
A Nigerian pays the pharmacy for medicine, corrupted fools are making
Sea Womans’ waters thicken with a human sickness greed, millions of barrels leaking
Every wave she makes, disease spreads more, her creatures’ airways quickly swell

But you never could tell
And the Kenyan child
Is he really living?
And who’s bereaving?
Are we believing?
Billion dollar industries sail ‘cross her right to Asia
To black markets through the burning oil, such turmoil
Now a gridlocked black tar highway fire sale on the sea!

And I hear, the snow wolf howling
And islands cracking
Sounds of fear
And I see, abstract reflections
A lightshow flashing
The panic casting
The fools foretelling
Shrills of warning
Will you listen to me!

Do you hear?
Sea Woman wailing
Are you listening?
Her creatures sinking
They’re even you and me!
The waters’ thickening
Continents sinking
An Ocean of Greed

Lullaby,
Rest your weary head now
Close your tired eyes
There’s a silver lining
Shining through dark skies
Sings a lullaby

Whispering with the willow
Stardust weeping soon
Resting in a meadow,
Neath the waning moon
Sways the lullaby

The silver stream takes you to sleep
And all your worries are history
Dream dream away

Dream dream away
Dream dream away
Dream

Living with Louise, Ray Scott
I been up all night or has it been years
Trying to get acquainted with the face in the mirror
Relying on Louise to make things clearer

She taught me how to share the way I feel
Then she told me that my feelings aren’t for real
How do I keep my hands on the wheel!

Didn’t I read your one last note?
Couldn’t I give you what you need?
No! No!

See the steam on off the road and the sun on the rise
Gray clouds part when I rub my eyes
But I’m driving in circles, goodbye blue skies
Living with Louise while I'm running from fear!

Shouldn’t I call you on the phone?
Didn’t I read your one last note?
Couldn’t I give you what you need?
Wouldn’t you cry if you were me?

I’ve been coming and going for far too long
Relying on somebody else to be the strong one

Didn’t I read your one last note?
Shouldn’t have called you on the phone?
Couldn’t I give you what you need?
Wouldn’t you fly if you were me?

I’ve been coming and going for way too long
Relying on somebody else to be the strong one

Didn’t I read your one last note?

What do dreams reflect beyond that sheen?

What do dreams reflect beyond that sheen within those aquamarine eyes?

That swells in brilliant vastness of a babe’s wide-open trust

With gleaming divine hopeful tears, to well and gush

That splash and ripple in lagoons of honesty?

Where seeps this shrouded spirit’s sigh?

What pulls me in, with golden moonlight, graceful and absolved?

Beneath depths so curious

Without a body or a mind, to have laying limp and heavy,

Hanging in creative malady’s constant flat indifference

To be sunken, under waves of babbling, disconnected utterance

From consciousness which shuffle-steps

To blend within some struggle toward coherence?

What is this gentle streaming lilac breeze, which swaddles me? Within her fragrance,

Peaceful and soon sleeping?

Solitude and stillness I am surely finally feeling

Flowing with her panpipe twilight coastline melody Flowing…

When she calls to me in Gaelic from her ghostly ocean shores, In empathy, bewailing

Where mist sprays soft and shiny clouds from where she will await me then

Oh that voice! So sweet, yet haunting,

Of divinely composed whirling climbs and scaling dives, it is her waning waters

Of a silent, still and wet-paint sunset saved in recollection of this heeling resurrection

She holds me close in sinking sands of anxious fearful undertow

To love me through my most unlivable maladies, suffering and seasons gone, for now, endured

She holds me there, inside her place, so helpless yet secured

What is she that I fail through cryptic telegraph to capture?

In gentle cradling touch, can I unveil?

Will she share with me, mere seconds in which I am reassured?

Or will I miss the moment; yearning, craving, anxious, too prepared?

Inside of my own needing, wanting jail

Lady Languor

In chamber listless, Lady Languor slides to sleep

Sinking slowly, anguish in cool milk-white satin sheets

She pouts and sighs a virgins' sorrow veering. The fall breeze;

Rustling frills on russet sheer veils, blowing lacey leaves around her curtained cocoon-bedroom

Forsaken, she cries along with distant willows weeping

A whimper, then a hush, a lull. All else that is or was, that's sleeping looms

Everything both oh, so gently and ever-tightly weaving

Beams of glazed wax walleyed moons swell and wane

A beacon blinking; slits through haunting hazy waves, of perhaps-clouded' conscience;

Cycling again, to waltz, ebbing, while releasing soft tears, a rock-bottom-rush

Soon breaking, trickling, leaving saltwater trails turned to dull, dry shoreline cosmic dust

Desolate, droning yonder, through her rusty framed, wide window

Wrapped in whirlwind; wallowing, amidst the loving and the grieving-

Spirits; wandering betwixt the living and bereaving

Songs in-trance, sustained eternal, through shuttering white-willow

A burnt out star falls to flare and flicker ‘cross a lamenting-shrine of

Clustering crystal sky ice, memories frozen

Traced, and forgotten, in time, fading.

It breaks in trillionths, screams like a diving eagle, smolders then dies

As discarded paper love letters scattered, torn around her ashy bedside

She pants and settles in despair, stroking her own nude silk flesh

She wraps up tight in a satin cocoon

Repressive, she dreams ‘way dreaming, in this soaking deep depression

Slowly shriveling and shrinking, as she rolls inside of warm regression’s womb

Through sleepwalk hollowed thickets,

Like dust blown by panpipes weeping

Her bewailing banshee eyes, faintly aquamarine, are seeping

Reflexive in the glow of clustering crystals in the deep and dark September sky

She shuffles through forsaken forest to the milk-bath lagoon of lament

She settles in the thick and heavy pool of self-pity

She sighs and sinks in lonely sleep

She shivers, shrinks and smoothly drowns

For her youth she cannot even dream to keep

And all in fall that never really was, completely, when she wakes in may at least can still be found

November Sun, Ray Scott
November sun
Smoldering in twilight glow
And burnt out dusk
Echoing cry, An icy banshee wind
Enshrines the hills of evergreen, gold and russet maple trees in glittery dust

The moon’s a ghost
Looming all day
Into the nights, I’m haunted through each phase
Diminished sun
Beyond the mountains’ peak
The winter’s come
Standing alone
Here I am lost
For who’s to guide me home?

Caught in the past
Lost in today
The future’s clouded; I don’t want to fade away
Mosaic sun
Sinks through a thickening smoke
The day is done
Ocean of black
Slowly swells beyond frozen stones
They chime and crack

Aquamarine
Glazed eyes that dream
Then dry to dust

The moon’s a ghost
Calling my name
Echoing cry throughout crawling shadow sky
Wane. Wane!
Hush Hush
The windy hush

November sun beyond the evergreens. The winter’s come
Symbiotic Springtime Souls

Stepping eight-counts in slippers, ever so slightly
Cross the mirror dance floor under the skylight portrait frame of dawn streaking,

within the brilliant, empty Grand-Ballroom of marriage, and shimmering chandeliers
We embrace in fusion with early spring
flowing; downstream into spiritual rivers,

joining into one, symbiotic still pond
spiral dreamers,

interwoven in green and yellow leaflet streamers.
Dusty winds blow; whirling,
Through a hollow hush in a quiet valley

in a wake of the sputtering swallow
Flying in an untangling turquoise of consciousness
Dipping and diving together
And bowing in the breeze

And the field sighs dandelion seeds
And the sunny Earth morning breathes serenity,
Opening her eyes to a calm and beautiful oneness
As I remove my moistened lips from her silky petals
Covered in slippery dew
Then kiss her neck
And lift her
And hold her tightly, pressed against,
Converging; fluttering, floating
In an unforgettably flirtatious dance with the wind
Two elegantly delicate monarch butterflies are joined
As one mosaic kite

Unraveled from our weeds of worry,
As we gracefully dance beneath a spring dawn’s satin sheets, so silvery
Making love with our souls and turning pirouettes like brilliant ballerinas
In a never ending swirl of marigolds and sunflowers
Feeling feather-like, yet firmly planted
Slightly dizzy, yet delighted
In love

Breathing as each other,
And Connected

Oh, Suffering Sea – Written in a Post Concussive State

When I looked into the dark and dismal sea of midnight’s mirror;

Falling in the hiding subconscious,

in sea-lab glass,

Intense beyond bewildered eyes so mirrored,

I saw no ebb or flow of tranquility

No transient glow, not one, just the electric shock of jelly fish

And emptied shells, from scattered life, in coral, rocks n distant humpback echoes

While rusting out among the ocean floor of lament,

Where the Great White circled,

Prey, he’s always hunting

In the search lights of the moon, still flashing through

The clouds of stingray n’ swordfish, swirling

My lost, looted treasure of sunken hopes n’ well wishes, anchored n’ tossed off the plank by Dream Pirates, n’ Poseidons’ upper-class mermaid prostitutes on their luxurious, cruise ship of my fear and doubt n’ raped ideas

Raped n’ twisted,

Riding the sea, and it’s the vacation of their lifetime, to dangerous depths

But there is still a chance

I still can swim freely, outta’ this lifeboat,

but nothing’s easy… so I force a smile as the beam breaks through

Solitary and serene,

Glimmer, glitter, gleam reflexive,

Rippling moon-dust misty beam

Shining stones in sight,

Through illusive myriads of aurora mystic starfish message

Or flickering flares, of Coastguard lights

Suffering Sea -2-

Among, Banshees bewailing, bereft in blackness of a death-mass night

And swimming in these depths of misery, madness and infinity,

Where they claim the somber morning shore,

No clean and smoke free air to breathe

But an endless shuttering cry, oh, thousands of dimensions deep

Here is what my mind has kept

I saw

An ageing sea of sad and crippled spirits crawling

Over waves in waning sorrow, screaming

Oh, so haunting

Wrinkling in a whirlpool, winding

Shrinking in the darkness, binding

So heavily weighing, sadness, teal tears,

love for lent,

For all; long past, for time and places not forgotten

Anchored to their discontent,

For now, eternal suffering is all they’ve left

So many lives have gone,

…Ill spent

Drowning in their desperation

Fulfilling their own condemnation

Swimming between hell and heaven

Catharsis forbidden, forever forsaken

Sucked into that whimpering well of sadness

Suffering sea -3-

In shrieking storm-winds of phantom madness

Tens of thousands,

Tortured, suffering souls in torpor

Long forgotten, examples, not learned from,

Still, again, neither dead nor living,

Mistakes of old

More to join them soon must come

Recurring for ever and ever, undone

I shivered, shrilled, and then descended

Deep into the centre of this never ending sea of suffering

Sinking with my sad ancestors in the undertow, still screaming

The wind got colder, quiet and heavy

Entranced, empty stares from shame’s shrouded eyes, familiar

Thickening in the freezing dense and droning dream in death and desolation

Illusions of myself,

In several million manifested forms of fear and deprivation

Dying,

Cycling,

In relapse,

Reliving

Remain, Ray Scott
Even though it’s late at night
I still am lying by your side;
Not sleeping
Even though the wind has died
The willow trees let out a sigh
Calm breathing
I want to remain
Like this forever

I wish you’d open up your eyes
So that I’d see you’re knowing what I’m feeling
The moonlight through the window pain
Has cast a white glow where you lay’
Its beauty

I watch you lying, so serene
Floating in a somber stream,
Angelic
I want to remain
Like this forever
I want to remain
Like this forever

Snow Sadly Falls, Ray Scott
I’m away from you
Snow, so sadly, falls
Wishing I’m there too
Can’t see through the squall
And I do
Want to be with you
Sadly, snow will fall
Now the sun goes down
Falls beyond the hills
As I walk around, round, round, round
Feeling winters’ chill
And I do
Want to be with you
There’s an arctic emptiness to fill
I’m frozen still
My cold heart shrills
Snow sadly falls
Can’t see through the squall
Do I still love you?
Every day I do
The sun will rise
All transmogrifies
And I do
Want to live with you
Oh Aurora, hear me cry!
Frozen, neath the moon
I will still love you

Shadow Puppets, Ray Scott

Well I’m out here a wondering away from my home
For a while, couldn’t stand it, had to be on my own
My thoughts are a million to my patience that is one
For now I’m a running, while my faster thoughts come
This cold, black night’s freezing my teary blue balladeer minds’ eye
while alleyway emptiness echoes and cries, I’m

gonna’ busk out my wounds on the corner tonight
Though the wind’s ripping my skin like a sharp, cold steel knife
But I’m gonna’ race against everything; staggering on worry stilts
on conveyers of ice, wounded spirit takes a spill, n’ then collapsed confidence shrills
And my frost bitten conscience is burning, it hears,
The winter winds wailing in the alleys of fear
Now I’m caught in the crosswalks; trying to turn a blind ear
With the woman in rags who now always reappears
I pretend to not notice her broken, out here;
Making hand puppet shadows in the streetlights
For a carriage that’s been empty for the last 15 years
I’m stepping out on everything that is still staying
Despite all my shouting, crying and craving
I’ll still greet good morning, good day and good evening
To all but the millions of moments I’m feeling
And I’ll gather with the masses of Hamilton helpless
And wait for my education to fix me a way
Out of this routing of revolving each day / routine
And freely feel whether I’m damned or I’m blessed
But it won’t be in a waiting room for three quarters of the day
Under the weather in one room I won’t stay
Receiving prescriptions, for pills I can’t take,
From one man who hasn’t time to even hear what I say
And I’ll storm to the streets, to the angry and hopeless
Who crawl confused through refuse and I’ll know, what,
They’re real
And I’ll holler on the phone and they’ll hang up on me / I call back
And they’ll place me on hold till they’ve gotten rid of me

And the ragged woman with her carriage and puppets
She’s nobody’s’ fool, she is always there; casting
For always there is some kind of due process election
And we’re all caught up in her crosswalk while eighteen wheelers roar, past them
Delivering her platform; she stands in city halls’ fountain
And waves her arms, prophetically, in public, splashing
Outside, in the cold, it’s a furry of ranting
It starts to snow, in a flurry, she’s apprehended while some homeless kid’s laughing
They’re foretelling the future but nobody’s listening

Well I can’t even remember now, when I just sat; sitting
Not rushing, wishing, craving, ya know?
But I’m buskin away
Need to constantly go
I can’t flow
I’m falling; I’m freezing, on the shufflers’ sidewalk of snow
With my shadow puppets
Out here on Queen and Main
Where the shadow puppets go

Valley where I used to dream,

Along the valley where I used to dream
The trees are crying and the fall winds scream
The stream flows calmly for another day
Until she’s filled in by the expressway
Now the northern flicker rests in diminishing forest rows
Escaping and hollowing out a new home where earth machines will not go
It’s where I used to finally find some space
Though it will all soon be buried by the industry race
Quiet nights along deer trails
Natural valley, now for sale
Manufacturer’s greed and quarrel for the “right”
It’s where I used to take some space
Where the solace seemed to sing, whisper and sway
It’s where I search for in vain today
Red Hill Valley, steam rolled away

Trillium Campfire Song, Ray Scott
Special Friends:

Open up your sunny eyes (your laughing minds)
And forget those crying skies (raining on the sad, sublime)
Smile away the clouds, so gray
Find your peace this summer day
No matter what your worries may be
Take one look around; I’m here for you and you’re here for me
Counting stars at the rainbows end
At the campfire full of friends
Love and laugh away your fears
Wave of sadness disappears
Family so full of life;
Sharing songs of joy beneath the wishing clear July moonlight
No matter what your worries may be
Take one look around, cuz we’re all right here and that’s all we need
Counting stars at Rainbow Lake again
At the campfire full of friends
Painted eggshell drop with your special friends, just you and them
All the pain just stopped, cuz you then realized all of the things
That you could do again!
Building castles in the sand
Singing circles hand in hand
Catching memories down at F.A.B
Best times that we’ve ever had
No matter what your worries may be
Take one look around cuz’ we’re all right where we all should be
Hanging round West Lake again
At the campfire full of friends
At the campfire full of friends
That never ends

Thursday Blue - edit II:
Blue are two worried eyes
Pale as a love-starved child
Turned to a torpor gray
Sadder than summer rain
Blue are the wrinkling waves
Carrying dreams away
Far as these feelings go
You don’t let your hopelessness show
This journey’s end, Thursday blue
Cold blue waves crash and pound
Helpless while sloth holds you down
Dream now Thursday blue,
Friday awaits you
Drifting miles from tranquility
Stranded in uncertainty
Oceans of withheld tears
Nowhere to cry you fear
Rough as the raging sea
Thursday blue
Blue are two far away eyes
Oceans of tears, still not cried
Blue wounded eagle scream sounds
Polarized eyes diving down
Rest now Thursday blue
There’s but two feet of water beneath you
Thursday blue
Friday awaits you

Chips ‘n a Poke

Oh Patty Green, sweet Patty Green

With the nicest set of ...Irish eyes a Scotsman’s' ayer seen.

Meet me late at Stonewalls please n’ after I’ve swept ya’ off yer two steppin’ feet, we’ll dance down “Ray Street North for a scant, to my shamrock shire, that’s where we’ll retire and,

We'll only kiss n' cuddle, we'll share wee snuggly wuggly snuggles,

We'll eat chips in a poke n' share a wee smoke

But we'll only kiss n' cuddle,

Share some toast, r’ scones, tangy marmalade n' breakfast tea,

Oh, on Ray street you'll come, see me, Darlin' sweetie, Patty Green.

When you did nay feel a connection, I felt confused, misled and abandoned

With me mates from work, n’ the waitresses noticin’ me’ erection

Rat a’ tat-tat!  Sure puts the tin hat on that!

It’s so embarrassin’ ta’ t’ink about but I’ll get on

I’m what you may say, eh hem, “hardened” by…

The Green-eyed gal that left me swillin’ brew and holding tears that wanted to cry from barbarically slaughtered Banshee eyes

Was the decade betwixt us far too wide or when left standin’ there, alone, too long

I might have made you mad inside?

N’ start to feel like on “Plenty Of Fish”, I lied and lied and lied.

With those pasty Gaelic Gams, that twirled right round like a Celtic whistling’ wind, I highland danced with you, so closely, held ya’ like a honey glazed ham

And Wham, I swore I’d won ya’ back but you could nay’ wait to make yer’ escape

N’ leave me forsaken with Rachel, Robbie, Conner n’ Kate

I’m Like a steamy jobby on the dance floor

Slow-dance song a’ sobbin,’ sulkin’ schoolboy ‘face that found the wrong side of the slammin’ door.

Oh, Patty Green, Sweet Irish Queen

With the nicest set of….shanty stolen clover eyes

A Scotsman’s ayer seen.

Well then, come to me home, we’ll kiss n’ cuddle

Come share wee snuggly wuggly snuggles

We’ll eat chips in a poke

And you’ll roll yer wee smoke

But we’ll only kiss n’ cuddle

We’ll share breakfast n’ tea, lassie, just you n’ me

After we’ve spooned all night and snuggled

We’ll only kiss n’ cuddle

It’s just for a kiss n’ a cuddle

I am Merely a Player

In Toronto, on-route to Massey Hall,

With my self-secure, and oh, so very truly cared for acquaintances, in a rental van
Just somewhat lost in one-way downtown streets
On-way toward the ticket window; losing our direction
Between the clustered parking lots
Towering buildings, intimidated boutiques
And scurrying, anxious human feet
We became (assimilated?) closed-in
Yet segregated, all too fast
While changing lanes, as the shadows fell, somehow
Through and round the sky reach architecture, flashing
While signaling, merging, changing lanes,
Clustering
And there!
On sidewalk; sleeping!
With toque o’er his sunken, wrinkly eyes
So shrouded.
Sinking in the cracks of sulfury sewers in exile
Right amidst proceeding selfishness and sheer avoidance
The (looking glass) of this – society;
Walking right round him (sleeping there, in “available” space)
/Exit stage left/
Turning their noses while he keeps warm on the steamy grates
Of bacteria and waste
Perhaps in too much of a drugged-up state to manifest
The will
He sleeps there still this day; desolate,
While the rest of us all drone

As I stared self-consciously, cautiously and thoughtfully
I became one with the flattening affect
And as we slowly crawled along Yonge Street with all the other cars
He diminished in the rear-view, repressed like all deep scars
My acquaintance turned his head to me somewhat later than just then
and he spoke with startling boastful bliss,
“Wait till you see how fabulous our concert tickets are!”

“Article 44,”

Well, working just a day job don’t pay all my bills
You might think, after college, things' be better, still
I work the day, then I work the night;
Down on the loading docks, shipping mail
See, now I got a family; little mouths to feed
No more coke and whiskey
Gotta’ meet their need
I try all day
I try all night
And no one respects me
(ain’t that the truth!)
Well I try, try, try to make a better buck
And I cry, cry, cry when I’m down on my luck
While I load those skids, I think about my kids
My back’s so sore but I’m working for a chance to be on
“Article 44”
Expedited
I work outside the union, but I still pay a fee
That’s if I see my cheque on time, you know, my rent ain’t free
I survive, that’s how it goes, from shift to shift and call to call
full-timers’ eyes on me
They keep watch on me at the job that they fought so hard for
Everyone on the seniority list has “one foot in the door”
I know those looks. I ain’t no fool
I’ve known their kind before
Well I try, try, try to make a better buck
And I cry, cry, cry when I’m down on my luck
When my land line rings, gotta’ quickly grab my things
My feet are bloody blistery but I’m working for a chance to climb up
“Article 44”
It’s “priority,

-Expressed”

Lost and Fatherless in Suburbia

Our suburban psychos, for the most part, lost
Between rags and riches and family tree frost
Crashing in communes; blindly belonging to a lost race
From the civil world, taking refuge where they learn
Lessons of anger and entitlement, discrimination and hate
Stomping heads and killing for skin
Excusing themselves with free speech; twisting
The U.N constitution to sin
Their skewed, warped vision through which they see
Contradicts the sane popular version of history, humanism or Christianity
What kind of sick leader, false Prophet or God could just let their actions be?
This demons’ religion through which they all are brainwashed to be
Places hierarchy on colour, but then only one colour
When the “COLOR” should be none and the spirituality; peace, equality and humanity
Where are their fathers’ to forgive them, hold them, set them free?

There is no longer that concept to set them free

A “Man” or “Father” to them is no such thing and

There may not even be equality,

Quite possibly

Evergreens

She must have been turning in her sleep
She kept herself somber in her snow white sighing winter
When I tried to wake her
And I tried to not hesitate to hold her
I lost her in the wake of west lakes’ yesterday

She kept her own beauty deep in dream
Yeah, trees swayed, rivers still moved, branches swayed when she breathed
I tried to wake her, the seasons changed in her, rivers’ current, like time, chained to her
I’ve lost her now in the dusty frost so blinding
(Her memory is binding)

The night’s grown darker now, the twilight wanes
Within the shadows of this haunting moon,
She’s fading now
A piercing chill remains
The forest shrills and I
Need my evergreen!

Yeah, dream of her when I’m alone
I miss her in all seasons
The cold wind fills my eyes with frost
She’s lost

I saw her last season, Evergreen
Yeah, here I’m stone-gray-stranded, Evergreen!
I dream of her when I’m alone
I miss her in all weather
The cold wind’s turned my eyes to ice, she’s lost
I’m left blinded till July, she has been lost!

The nights’ grown darker now, the twilight wanes
Within the shadows of this pale, full-moon of gloom
She’s lost forever now
Piercing shrills of stranded, dying spirits remain
Yeah, I need my Evergreen
Dream of her when I’m alone
Covered in the echoing forest of frost
She has been lost

The Lucky Ones,

Ain’t we the lucky ones
That it won’t matter in the end
What we’re fighting for, again and again
See the unlucky ones
The ones who had it all and all,
They are praying for’s their Madison to make the curtain call

Our little angel’s in the alleyway
Wide blue four year old eyes following us night and day
She wants to spread her wings in peace but
There; concerned, she has to stay
Brilliant four year old ears; hearing every word her parents say
I hope for Madison, they’ll change

Young angel in a cage,
Dreaming she’s dancing on the stage
Her fixed blue eyes study every move cousin Maddy makes
I know her mom and he,
Close off the dance floor while she waits
For all the arguing to end as she hides from them in the alleyway

Her dreaming blues study Maddy at the Stratford play

- backstage from cancer hell’s gateway
They never wished for anything to be quite this way
I hope for Madison, they’ll change their ways
They have to think of poor Taylor-Rae
I hope for Madison, they can change

Ain’t we the lucky ones
That it won’t matter in the end
What we’re fighting for
It all wont’ matter in the end
See the unlucky ones
Two different little girls, the same
Were born with everything until the sickness came
But they are not to blame
But they are not to blame
I hope for both their sakes’ they can change

And free their minds from physical and emotional cancer

One in the same

The Troublesome Tale of the Steel Town Temp –

This is the troublesome tale of the steel town temp
Who was living common-law and he just couldn't pay his rent
With a baby on the way after a motor accident
And the run’ round from insurance
All his borrowed money was spent

He lowered himself one day n' his standards, ya’ see
And he crawled through the door to the temp agency
All he could find was a contract job; grinding
Steel for 10 hours with no incentives, no premiums, no benefits
He was robbed, whored' round and screw jobbed

He made some acquaintances, workin’ three shifts
Who were all down and blue; feeling souled out by devil pimps
Together they all vented, while all choking on factory steel dust
Keeping busy, gasping and frantic;
Spraying black paint on the engine cradle rust
(Never hide it).

He drove in the snow for an hour there and back each day
Got a kick in his ice blue ass when he seldom came late
Freezed to a screechin’ no heat burnt out-sleep at the final stretch-red light
Just seconds from his rental home, he could
Never radiate, defrost n’ feel right

He worked through the day and he droned through the afternoon and night
He struggled at home every inch was an f.f.f.f-fight!
Finally cried out, “I can’t take anymore!”
“You can all stick this dirty job; I’m not your dirty whore!”

Round n round n’round she goes,
Where she stops, nobody knows
Round n round n’round it goes
Where it stops???

N’what does his future have in sight?
Well he’s probably sobbin’ and sulkin’, crawlin’ back through all that shite!

But it’s just for now, just temporary
Someday soon, you’ll see,
I’ll finally have that degree
I’ll fix us outta’ here!
Permanently!

It doesn't feel like Christmas;
Snow is falling on the ground
Song of love is all around
Song’s a somber melody
It’s how I feel without Louise

Remembering Christmas things we do
When it was only me and you
Our children sleeping, I’m alone
Wondering when will you be home?

I don’t feel the Christmas
No I can’t feel the Christmas
Without you

And by the fire, your glass of wine
Curled on the floor, I warm with mine
Empty bottle I cling to
Will my Christmas wish come true?

And it’s not much like Christmas
Oh it won’t feel like Christmas
Without you

Season’s love is all around
Star shines high above snowy clouds
Crystal sky blows magic through the air
If this spirit shows her how much I care…

It’ll feel more like Christmas everywhere

House is quiet, children deeply sleep
Fire smoldering, losing all it’s heat
Out the window dream dust softly falls
The windy echo of an angel seems to call

Hope still gleaming in my eye
Like the embers still a ‘glow that won’t die
Look to your stocking next to mine
And pour another glass of wine

It’ll feel more like Christmas
It’ll feel more like Christmas,
This time.

I’ll bow down to her forever,
She never will forget the days and nights I loved her
And I never lied
But she never will remember all the times she hollered
That she hoped I died
She’d slam the door, I ran away
To drive alone all day, too sad to cry
I’d turn around I’d play the clown
Out in her hallway, I apologized
I swear she thrived

Every time I see her I try so hard to stand up
But I fall – hear my plea!
I fight so hard for peace but all this strife
Has knocked me down, I’m on my knees
Locked outta’ my own doorway, ironically
I keep falling, to my knees
Bowing down to her forever

I’m anxious as a suicide; I’m gridlocked in a guillotine of pride
My moods can’t hide
How hard I’ve tried
Bowing down before her as I kiss her hand I’m sinking deep inside
Through the keyhole, my clown eyes cry
Performing like a circus freak, a hundred thousand nervous high wire feats
Balancing and juggling my emotions while the world beneath me spins while-
All the fools all full of jeers and ridicule and told ya’ so…s are screaming from the streets
And I keep falling
Miserably
Bowing down to her forever
I bow down to
Her forever
To her forever

Ashes to Ashes – edit II:
I’m just trying to help you see things right, give me a break
Please try to understand all that I have given you and how much
More that I can’t take
Oh what else can I do!

I feel so all alone
And I am used up and I’m all worn-out to every
Aching bone
And wound up to my tightening spine, you shout
All of your screws, you’ve twist into my overloaded troubled mind

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
The bullies,’ gonna burn me up before I rust
In hurricanes of hell wind tantrum fuss

Ah, I’m just about to boil to the point I break
Underappreciated, battered every single day
And still I’m just disturbed enough; returning to you
Oh for heavens’ sake!
All my hairs are goin’ gray
With everything at stake
I’m struggling still to break’ way

But the cycle keeps me lost in loops
And throwing punches at the shadows
Hanging by yer’ gallows’ noose
You’ve slammed me down n’dragged down with you and I, I go
Tightening in our circumstantial fools’ gold hoops

Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Burning up before I rust
Before I must

No Money For Christmas

I have no money for Christmas gifts this year
So you’ll have to be content with my sweet love my dear
You won’t catch me in the lineups in those crowded shopping malls
I’ll be digging in the couch cushions for loose dimes oh deck the halls!

I feel sorry for ol’ Saint Nick
The reindeer all got swine flu, the elves are in bed sick
You won’t catch me singing Hark the Harold or Ho Ho Ho
You won’t see Mommy late, neath nothing, cuz I pawned the Mistletoe

I have no money for Presents this year.

So you’ll have to be content with the man ya’ gots right hey’er

So you can cross my good ol’ lovins’ right off of your Christmas list
Cuz all I gots to gives’ ya’s a big hug and these sweet lips
Gotta fill on rum and eggnog when I give my kids the news
Cuz They’ll stone me and kick my nut sack into my stomach till I puke!

I know they’re gonna hate me when they look beneath the tree
And they’re gonna wonder why is Santa passed out n’covered in daddy’s pee
So let’s bottle up and drown in all this Christmas good Cheer
I lost my job friend’s are too poor to rob, so Happy New Year!

There won’t be no one fat and jolly singing “Ho Ho Ho!”
He had to lay off ol’ Rudolph; he now works down at the Esso (on Dundurn and King)
Bill Collectors offices are a’ ringing in the cheer!
Drinking up our bonuses we never got this year!
Pass me a beer!

I can’t afford one ribbon; there’ll be nothing with a bow
I’m the only turkey so stick a fork in, I got no doe
So why you standing there all silly with your eyes all closed?
Puckering for nothing. There’s still no mistletoe!

There’ll be nothing under the Plastic tree in green or in red
No log or even sticks for fire. Gotta’ get it through your head
There’ll be no strings no strands not even musical snowmen
No tinsel in a can, only one broke and drunken dirty passed out red suit wearing man!

I have no money for Presents this year…
(silent night on guitar).

The Legacy of The OSAP Loans

Oh the OSAP loans! Lord help my please ‘cuz I took on
The OSAP loans! I was so young, had such high hopes
Now I’ll never own a house and home!

Is there nothing I can call my own?
In so much debt, and all regrets
I tried to build a better life
But all I done was dug a lifelong hole!
(An abyss of begging for interest forgiveness)
OSAP Woahhh. OSAP loans

Now I’m drowning deep, it’s endless strain
Locked up in lenders’ heavy chains
And I’ve black marked my family name
While sucked into the swirling, snarling, credit panic drain!
OSAP loan!

They’ve got me anchored by the balls
They’ve sniped me in my mind
I can’t hide
From OSAP loans

I can run from job to job
I can exhaust interest relief
They’ll garnish all my hard earned wage
So much for the eight hour day
The day will always come
They’re gonn’a rob me blind
As if I done a naïve dreaming young mans’ crime
I’m surely gonna’ do my years of time!

But my children they will be no fool
I will never ever never let em take on loans
To pay for post secondary school

They may be chased down to pay off mine and moms’ long after we have said goodbye!
And that’s far too much a burden to lay on our worlds’ future brilliant minds!

It is Your Love

Emmie-Rose, you’re growing so fast
With every moment there’s more love in my heart
For me you’ll always be a light in the dark
Cherish these days for they will all have to pass

Wide blue eyes of sunshine and hope
Dreaming mind and angelic soul
Climbing stairs like they’re mountains of changes
Crying while falling as it all rearranges

It is your love that is trying
Love that is smiling
Your love is laughing
Love is striding

There still are times, where I keep fear to myself
For that that there needs to be so much father in me
As you grow more each day with less of my help
You’re more assured, forever close your daddy will always be

For love –It is shining (love love love love love)
Love is living
Love is not denying
Love is giving
It is your love,
Keeps believing, on me you’re relying
Your love isn’t hiding, and I will keep on trying

I never knew I’d feel this way
I’ve wandered in the dark and let my fear take me away
I swear, my Emmie-Rose
You add meaning to my life.
I swear, my Emmerie-Rose, I will be there to watch you grow
My children keep me strong and one thing that I know that is real…
It is your love….

In this garden, my sweet Emmy-Rose
A darling angel from your head to your toes
One thing won’t change, throughout the years
Your father wants to make it perfectly clear

It is the love…I am feeling, I am giving
Your love’s smiling – It is your love…Love keeps you dreaming
(it is your love, love love….)
Guardians, Please Protect Me

There’s a naked widow locked out, withering confused
On her front porch while they all lay sleeping
Deemed mentally incompetent and the keys are kept by the government
And the eroding maple tree with limbs all dried up, bent and brittle
In her front yard creeks and shivers, slowly collapses
Aged a hundred years and her roots are dead and her branches break
Like haunting spirits of vertigo in the autumn wind, hanging
By their heads
Ah. They cry
Ah they cry

And this woman cries; forgotten, all her assets have been stolen
While the city moves on by, beyond the reach of her suffering mind
Awe. No time. They don’t notice
Ah, they mind their own business
Aghk! They have no time to fix this
And the tramps beneath the fine dining doorways
Lay beaten beneath the sidewalk cracks
In the Hell-milton Horrifying underworld

Why are they forsaken by such civil inattention?
Why must she bleed, forgotten, while her defenses soften?

Guardian, protect me!
They cry; Guardians protect me! Please protect me!

An old man hollers on Hess; walkin’ right through the middle of the village,

He sounds like a screamin’ poet

While we sit at Koy, on the patio, in the sun

There’s a young girl; a’clingin’ to her purse where all her crack tools are kept

N’ we don’t even know it

No we don’t even know it!

The beautiful young woman; with the squeegee in one hand with her cell phone, set to speed dial her dealer, in her other

And her shirtless coward next to her, in the alley

She has no real choices

And we don’t even get it

They’re all hopelessly roamin’ right through the middle of the village

They’re locked out, confused, unloved and lied to

Handin’ me notes, to read, I’m who they beg to

Who they ask for food from

Lookin for “protection” from

But it’s something; someone else all too powerful, they’ll be a’ needin’ it from

But painfully, not gettin’ it from

“Gaurdians” Protect someone!

Fallen

There is a frosty, white blanket of apathy this morning,
covering the fallen leaves
There is an echoing, low moan, far off
drowning
and a silence, so heavy; falling all around in the rising steam from the laying, bloodstained, burnt up masses
There is a thousand tone anchor of lethargy
chained to the sycamores
and a sludgy, slug-like breath; crawling-
out from muddy streams and ditches, where a lone soldier digs his lock joint fingers
into eroded clay and torn earth roots - - clawing cliffs to crumble,
in the haunting cough of smoke
from a burnt out flare of autumn evenings' hope

Fields, once glowed
and cherry blossoms flowed
Now they've turned to ashy, crying ghosts of dismal, ancient nights
in foggy, caving, solemn and satirical cemetery rows

Today, I ask you to remember

Today I watched your face drop when your friend left here
I saw the very thought of you and me again,
Alone,
Deflate you
While you watered the dying daisies

Remember when we bloomed into each other’s light,
Quenched each other’s thirst?
Remember when we’d spend all night long in each other’s gentle arms
Until late into next afternoon?
Remember lying awake in separate beds, embraced
On opposite ends of the telephone?
Remember, in a Huntsville cottage, fantasizing about our lives together?
Through pain,
Through fear
Through both the wounded and the gifted tears

Remember plunging rapidly
Into each others deep blue pools of honest empathy
And unconditional regard?
I’m desperate to know why now we try so hard

We now fight against each other, choking in such violent waves
We used to float for many hours, still, together with the turquoise ocean
For endless nights and days

Remember holding hands?
Remember overcoming the blows;
The ultrasound, showing us the stopped heart of our unborn baby?
Remember all the strength, together we had to hold?
Remember how we always found quiet time?
To forget for a while

Remember all the pain and strife
From day to day
That scrambled both our lives
Remember us not shouting,
Just relaxing and accepting
Not desiring

Although I can’t forget those times right now
I strongly feel we both just forget how
We think too much of then and here
And where our lives will take us in the coming years
It’s killing us, my dear

Help me find that flame within your dark brown eyes that burns
Help me find that almost endless moment in your arms
Hearing the beach with every peaceful and content sigh
Help me find the reason once again, for why I’d finally cry

Do you remember me?
Do you remember that all perfectly not perfect way
On the path together where we used to be?

The seed

Needs to be planted and nourished
In love and light but given shade
With balanced emotional desire and commitment, from the heart and for another
A new life is gradually made

Hope, future and endlessness
Developing out of gentle, soft and holy seeping tears
Flowing deep into the very fabric of fertility and belonging
A gleam in loved one’s eyes to never disappear

As shelter

Protection from a new and dangerous world
Filled with constant conflict, change and cataclysm
Spinning at an overwhelming speed and constant overstimulation
You’re but a spring tulip bulb in a garden-bed that may drown in teeming rain of scrutiny

Cradled

In the shadows of an absurd theatre
Moving as a mime, in a world that’s one small bubble
Safe still from the storm and stress of cyclic troubles
As the imaginary audience watches you develop, naïve and nude

Dependent

On the guardian
Fulfilling all essential needs to foster blooming
To be cooed to and massaged in relax monologues of waving vibrations, so softly broken
Over shores of familiarity with fragments of subconscious
As if often dreaming
While swaying in a peaceful, calm and simple womb


To be born

Through the threshold into something wondrous and new
Eyes that scream to focus, welling in a murky indigo-blue
Held to comfort at thy mother’s breast
By instinct crying out for help and coddled, sucking and sighing, carefully taking each short breathe



Welcome

To our garden
Let its chances always bloom
And let its weeds not grip you struggling
Alone in sadness or in fear
For we will always, for eternity be here

Your Guardian

Settling Softly
A shivering shrill, in dusk forsaken
In misty moon glow, dusty glitter flickers,
‘Cross fluttering flares from strobe beacons
In shadows flashing, evening's cast
This calmness is unmistaken
The whispering wind sighs through the reeds
Then shrivels along a rippling, watery wake
In a wrinkling pond where boats are docked
Weeping willows arch, rattle and rock
Sounds are heard brushing against my window
On Clear lake where crystal stones shimmer
And ring, from a whirling aurora
That swirls and swings, so soft and sweeping
Like a multitude of streaking rainbows
Tranquilly sustained, cradling,
Weeping streamer, somber and slow
Dancing pirouettes round the loon who floats
Way in the distance drifting deep
Into this collective, quietly swaying sleep

Softly settling silence keeps

Symphonic

Embers in her eyes, they sparkle,
Tiger striped, in shadows
I jump through full moon-hoops,
to marvel
Within captivating orbs of smoldering mahogany,
Oracles through oceans of reflected stars
In other galaxies afar
Although a hostage, I must carefully explore

She takes me where our breathing turns to dusty nebulae
She carries me through cluster crystal glimmering frost

She stares silvery moon-flares
Through a meteor shower of anxiety
It navigates a path of free feelings,
Floating in a calm oblivion,
Amidst full catastrophe
From fallen stars colliding

Her peaceful, wondrous reassuring eyes
Evoke no question while my wind-cradled mind
Does simply follow her divine example
As if I’m swimming through a still reflective pond with her,
To settle in a serene sleeping dream of oneness
Sensual and real

Our spirits fuse together in an ancient, empty canyon on a milky moon
We make love within shadows,
While a drizzling glitter falls
We drift off further than perception
Carried by the kiss, which is our gravity
While lady infinitys' mothering eyes cry splendors' tears on our newborn bodies
Million year old crevice caves of death turn quickly into shimmering sweet and living love lagoons

So spiritual
So Symbiotic
Resonating, rhythmic hearts, one beating
Shivering in a star-frost whisper
Like a humming lyre
Feelings that can never swell, then disappear,
Like tingling kisses on a breast
We are sustained, everlasting and

Symphonic

Raymond J. Scott, July 22, 2003

So Deep

Rhythmic to my beating heart
And chiming mind
We are essence that glides,
Without breaking
Like diamonds, not scratching
Sharp and shining
Hot blades on cool ice, skating

Deep
Not only our eyes

Our souls

Passion’s kiln, it burns within me
Every inch of my body swells
In heat from her radiant beauty
She kisses me so passionately
I’m thrilled
I’m cooled
By the ways that she can touch me

Soft to sleep,
Held in her breast
Sighing, soothing, breezy breath
She gently touches,
She’s my soul-mate artist
And we’re each other’s muse
Sustained for ever,
She plays the strings within me

Not only in the waking hours
In softly swaying silent sleep

She’s a once in a lifetime dream
So deep
So deep

Beautiful Belinda Belle

Beautiful Belinda Belle

Blond bombshell

She sells Avon day to day

She’s aesthetically refined

Cosmetically divine

She’ll revolutionize the world someway

With her compact contusion blushes

And masque shades of multi-layered pain

Yes, the first important step

To a beautiful knew-you

Is the proper foundation

She’s manufactured her face so meticulously

I’ve seen such empty whored-art in billboard industry

She stuffs the appetites of thousands who’ll objectify her

which compliments their massive capitalistic appetite

For constant gratification

She’s been schooled with all the other perfect, broken porcelain dolls

Inside of mother’s locked glass cabinet

And all around are scrutinizing funhouse mirrors

She’s scarred beneath a caked on paste

She’s afraid to go home

Because she’s not sure where that is

She’s punishing herself by looking beautiful

By running into his arms

The jade shame in her eyes still shows

Beneath the rouge and blush

Beautiful Belinda Belle

Blond bombshell

Just graduated at the top

Above the lesser low-shelf dolls

She now sells door to door, by phone, in chat-rooms

And whores around on infomercial, web cam auctioneer for her hooked addicts

Family men n’ business types that haven’t found their God just yet but lost daughter years ago, while focused on their own big dreams, the mood is set

She’s obsessed with being main stage pop queen

She’s starving to be scene!

She hardly sleeps at all

For every layer must dry

If she smiles, she will crack

She can’t afford it

The cost to reapply

But she’ll always exit stage left

The storm gray flooding sorrow in her vanity mirror eyes will probably never subside

At the Window


At the window, He’ll oft think,
The worst “What if I’s,” “Should haves,” “ But I don’ts,” or “cant's”
Yet does, he simply won’t
Someday he’ll climb through the open window
Someday he’ll no longer just imagine how “it” feels
What “it” smells and tastes like
To be fearless and flowery,
Rhapsodizing everywhere he dares to walk in life

But his window’s only painted on the wall
He’ll hope while climbing, merely till he falls
Dissociated fantasizing pools of rippling blue-green fusion
Well inside depression’s flat and flooding,
Isolated Self alienation

The insurers wage loss compensation cheques, BI-weekly,
Are his life supports for torpor
Searing, constant hesitation and irrational avoidance spin him
In a whirling, constant overstimulation
Under clouds of panic and of doubt
He swirls in social phobia tornadoes, corkscrew cutting
Downward

He is pinned under the avalanche of heavy misery
And crippling, creative malady

Warm, Smooth Miracle


I’m so amazed
Crystals gleam in her eyes
Reflections chime
From the candle light
With a whisper
In sweet symphony

I kiss her lips and I’m alive!
We hold each other endlessly
Shangri-La’s within her eyes
The whispering whirls into crescendo
The Spirit in her calls me
Keeps me safe
Secure
Sigh

Calling
Calling me
I slip into that mystic forever in that shining place
In the deep, dark blue ocean of her beaming eyes
Reflecting the whisper of the wrinkling light
From the waxy, smooth miracle
Our hands melt together
To hold

She is the love of my life
Flowing and free
Like waves and sea
Embraced with me
Following into the shadowy unknown
Of all that is to be

Suede

Two blue-eyed pools of tears
Hide beneath a white lace veil
Spring winds soothing softly sway
Sighing through her window screen
Whispering stir in sandy hair
Lying there, she is so vulnerable and silent

Wrinkling, milky satin sheet
Wave of mourning while she sleeps
Rolling over, worrying, the young woman weeps
Feels beside her, knowing for certain no one’s there
Open eyes and trance-like stare
Stroking her silk pillow case
And it’s softer than suede

Tender skin and gentle hands
Carefully cradling herself, like her cello
After opus end and climax
Pouting, panting and proud
But pretentiously dreaming
How smoothly moving,
Her bow
And it is softer than suede

Sunlight is breaking through the clouds of dawn
She slips further under blanket shroud,
She’s gone
She slips into a misery
A soft, unheard and gentle,
Introverted, closed off misery
Alone and softer than suede

She is the most important one,
Inside of no one’s life
As disconnected as she is
She is so awfully right

Love Went Away

It’s hard to think, about it now
I gave so much just to furl in sorrows’ shroud
And here I stand, so far behind
Asking myself, how could I have been so blind?

I gave my soul, and so much more
But I lost the game. false trust may be to blame
I tried so hard to make things right
Over and over, every day, I had to fight

Chorus

I close my eyes as I try to disappear
All the while, I have been so damned sincere
I turned around,
And love went away

To be alone, stranded outside,
Of the room we once waltzed into, in some other frame of mind
I’d rush right home, only for her
But is that true or did it just make me lonelier?

Chorus

I close my eyes as I try to disappear, stop the tears
All the while, I have been so damned sincere
I turned around,
And love went away

Bridge

And as I fell into lost hope, within cold streets,
Shattered dreams, knocked me down
Address myself, in disarray, I now know,
That I was not sane
I was not sane

(Repeat Chorus)

Ray Scott

Trying To Forget You
Sleeping thoughts and spiral eyes
I’m waiting for you in disguise
Retrieving memories, stored away
Feelings, I so often hide

Buried deep, inside my mind
Burrowing into a hole
Blackened by repression soon
Burning through the semantic fold

Aye-eye-aye-ee-aye’m
Trying to forget you

Aye-eeyeah-ee-aye’m
Drowning,
Drowning
My memories of you,
But gently

(Waiting, Waiting, Holding on)

Swirling sounds so peacefully sway
Ebbing waves soon wash away
Drifting day and silent dream
Evening moon and flowing stream

Carrying – Carrying

Aye-eye-aye-ee-aye’m
Trying to forget you

Aye-ee-aye-ee-aye’m
Drowning my memories of you
Softly
Slowly,

Holding on.

Dewy Meadow  
The cold wind is callous
My mind is stranded in the arctic,
Awaiting the guillotine of winter,
To collide and cut into my freezing nerve, behind my snowy eye,
That burns, dry-cold

The blizzard is like razor blades, soaring, searing,
Ripping apart my composure
Tearing my concentration,
Stranded on an iceberg

The frost clusters and metastasizes from my mouth
To my throat of echoes, choked out by this banshee of apathy-
Wailing- whirls me into the terrifying realm of uncertainty
Where I’m paralyzed in creative subzero

And I fade further than a hundred miles away,
From her, my dewy meadow,
Beyond wind tunnels of wet-snow, dried to ash-litter
In the springtime sun,
She is unachievable, as this spirit’s chained
By a socialized body of a conventionalized,
then drained and indifferent, spiteful master

And here I am, I don’t know how
But I’ve got to try
And somewhere,
The light of morn breaks through,
from a south-easterly direction
Where my love waits still, to be reborn
All of my dreams,
My will

Oh spring garden
Budding life
Hold my love once lost,
The mirage,
While I await the vessel that the sun spirits guide,
To free me from my isolation
So I’m no longer desolate

In reoccurrence, I will live again
In my dewy meadow

The Pain
The man stands on the corner of my street
And he’s got dark eyes
And he wears no disguise

There’s a hag for hire in Hess Village
And she hollers at the patrons, while passing
And she curses them and their greed
As they laugh
But she gets to me

She’s waiting for a love to come along and ease her pain

There’s a factory furnace, still firing
There’s a cloud in the sky that is looming
There will be another lonely soul
Where the dark eyed man now stands

He’s still waiting for a love to come along to ease his pain

I can still see his cold dark eyes, and hear her cackling cries
Burning ten miles inside me
And it pains me,
It drains me

I’m waiting for a love to come along to ease my pain


Stay For Tonight
I know it’s late, glowing moonlight
Want you to hold me, stay for tonight
But I can’t wait, for you to love me
Can’t we be children again?
And can you stay for tonight?


I’m missing something, as this moment slips beyond
My fear of morning
Sliding shadows wash you away
Busy day, racing people
Storming sadness, raining afternoon

I need someone who I can turn to
Someone to laugh, cry and smile to
Can you stay for tonight?


End of the road, the sun shines, you’ll soon leave town
I fill my coffee again!
The cycle spins around


It’s not too late
Will you turn over?
Why won’t you stay?
It will work out, we’ll be fine

Oh, will you stay for tonight?


Lazy Gray Sky
Lazy gray sky hovers strangely
O’er my head, decisions change me
I look for answers every day
Afloat at sea I sail away

Love is like the ocean
Tides take all direction
Crawling in a moonbeam
Will mood indigo fold in the wave seem
Or is happiness all just a dream?

I am frowning when I say hello
I’m frowning when it’s time to go
I want to find my smile, somewhere in-between
Where is my tributary?

The dream-stream, between
Is where I can survive, each night,
the balance for me, it seems,
the rolling mountain, meandering stream of life

Lazy gray sky hovers strangely
O’er my head, decisions rearrange me
I look for answers, still this day




Summer
Everyone is waiting
They’ve thought about what they’d say
Such a shame it happened
Oh my Lord, They start to cry

Reoccurrence renders, the seasons overlapping
Windy autumn weather,
Here, she fades, summer sky

Taken from the Gook Book,
Where we’ve grown accustom,
Final farewell spoken
In the fall, where we change

Music, softly soothing
Breezy, blowing meadow
Like a weeping willow,
All together, reminisce


Thoughts have taken us deep into dark nights
We haven’t yet shed our final tears

Goodbye summer
Summer sky

Summer fade,
Goodbye

Now the sun is setting, o’er the lake, through fog, so looming
Slowly turning twilight, taking her far away
In the winter whispering, In a dream of mourning
Seeing is believing
Why did summer have to fade?

Why did summer die?

Thoughts have taken us further than far off
Melancholy midnight
Alone, we are lost,

Without summer

Summer sky

Summer fade,
Away

Fade Away…

Phantom Rise! Raymond J. Scott

I can’t believe that you are gone
I cannot correct what is to be and what is done
Through any resurrection
Requiem raindrops play the harpsichord
Of lamenting, off the tin-can-heap in alley refuse
Bare branches are caressed by winds’ weeping cello bows
Sighing slow ‘cross telephone strings on violin poles
Overhangs, the mourning and bereaved birch
On the dead and empty street
The naked widow sheds her final rusty leaf
And begins sleeping under hibernation frost
As aurora oboes weep and scatter summer’s ancient ash
Sweeping up the smoldering curbside newspaper scraps
To blow into the gutter grates of autumn’s echoing underworld
Resonating through the sewer drains,
Within the ditches, swirling
Octaves scale and fall, in perfect meter with her naked, swaying branches,
Shivering up and down her deeply grounded roots
And soon, when heavy slumber starts to snow,
She’ll accept the loss and finally let the season go

Phantom rise
Phantom rise

The bereaved Queen of the molested naked forest sleeps
Her spirit, lost in flawless syncopation, sadly keeps
In eternal recurrence, the four score opus weeps
Softly, it’s a mass for the dead
Now within the final quarter, winter, where I’m stranded
My youth, how fast it’s fading
Alone, here in this haunted night
While frost is whistling through the unsealed window
I can do nothing but await the maestro
Phantom, rise!

Bernardo Took a Friend

Bernardo took a friend

I only ever danced with her

N’ I never will again

Bernardo took a friend

N’ we will never dance again

Bernardo took a child

‘Stole her from her family

Convicted in the trial

But it didn’t end the malady

No remedy for tragedy

City of masks in midnight misery

N’ every time I hear that “Alphaville” song from the eighties play, ye’aye…

“Forever young” she will remain

‘Always remember her that way

Bernardo took a lovely girl

So innocent and pure in this world

But angels live on in the end

To dance forever young again

Forever young, she’ll dance again

N’ every time I hear the “Alphaville” song from the graduation play ee ye’ ee-aye!

Forever young she will remain

Always remember her that way

Forever young, she’ll always stay

…Bernardo took a friend

Less talking more working!

‘Force much more increase on expedited production

From far fewer members of the workforce

For less n’ less money in

Record, reduced time, protocol of modern transformational daily function

An 8 hour day in 5 hours of work

“Safety talk. Safety talk”

Everyone’s on web cam

But we deliver paper mail

Sender, sender

Who is the receiver here! Man-u-life???

Lift properly

Feed properly

Sweep sweep sweep

Back on your blistering feet!

Worry about proper feeding procedures first, your back later.

Gotta’ get this out by midnight

“No extensions tonight, part timers”

No casuals in the building

Harder, faster, expeditious

Incoming, outgoing. It’s getting’ ridiculous

Swipe here. Swipe there. We don’t care

Keep up them numbers, we’re almost there!

Good night? Bad night? Numbers show!

Runnin’ tie-out, my back’s gonna’ go

Too bad there’s no band-aid on my mind to show

Frustrations’ tear, where my focus should flow

More Talk, Less “Schooling”

Base your own educational needs on competition with our greedy brothers and sisters

You stupid, massive, stuffed shirt, government bastards!

…on statistical standardized tests, research, socio-economical pockets, targets, funding

Base it on the masses but base on weak or strong but keep on babbling

Fork lightning dictictated division of the façade of capitalism

More like Satanism

But we are now too scared to rise up against him!

And in unison, scream!

Satin, be silent!

We’ll be legislated and extinguished

Guided back to work by our big brother

Cuz’ our neglecting guardians, who we never seen

Are fighting the cold war and keepin’ us “clean”

But what of our individual needs in the classes!

While we fall deep into and beneath the cracks and burn among the ashes

from a collective victory cigar of the upper classes,

the business pig-pen controlling masses!

All I Can Offer
I’m slipping away, cuz’ enmeshed, we’re not free
Unsure who it is that you think I should be
I’m living all moments fused into one
Four walls crowding in, closing on me

Let me live too
Accept me, for I love you

I’m sure that you wanted, a love that was new
But all I can offer is myself to you
You’re asking of me, something unlike the rest
But I’m only human when I’m at my best

Help me find a way
Tell me, that we’re okay

all the damage that is done!
And everything we’ve overcome.

I realize that it’s gonna’ take time
We need to open ourselves again
Winner or loser, it doesn’t matter
Trust me, my love, we can leave it all behind

Please take my hand as we intertwine
I’ll validate you. I’ll empathize
Show me your truth. Show me your nature
Please realize who you are to me

You’re my truest and greatest friend

Lamenting Goodbye Raymond J. Scott


I found my Angel, in oh, so many ways
Beneath July moonlight, on a sail-dock far away

Sparkling in the night, feeling so right
Starlit eyes from auroras’ northern skies

With no word or sign, the summer rushed by
While we stood frozen, hesitating careful and shy

Distance, we knew, would swell between us
Far off on the wind, ‘tween reality and the rush
Like the waves and the cold wind,
September set in
The chill in my heart,
Left me, dropping the mast, holding the anchor, forsaken

Look my way, take my hand
It’s all right
Say goodbye, all over tonight
While we nearly kiss in the rain
While Lady West Lake wanes

While I embraced her,

I felt rescued from the world
With such scared, hidden urgency
And subtle, insecurities

Afraid, to take her
Equally, to leave her
Joy at the same time
For her eyes gazed in mine

As I looked on the horizon, I saw evening wind blow
The sunset was mystical, and the milky pearl moon glowed

But in reality, frost was to cover the Island
And fall froze me still, lamenting,
Under early snow
On the rocking dock, where I often travel a day to stand
With only her perfumed scarf in my shivering hand

Lady Willow Raymond J. Scott

Lady Willow lies in sleep,
Her waves of soothing, flowing breath,
Resonate while soul-felt solace keeps
In somber, weeping winds, so smooth,
She sighs pirouetting pixy dust,
Spiraling a harp-strummed hush
Through the thickets, her melodic, mantra breeze

She sleeps beneath the mothering white willow
She listens closely to the fairies dancing in the air
If she sleeps there long enough,
She will see them in the clear night moon-glow
From the resting meadow

She can even float through midnight,
Toward the somber sunrise
Along the wake of spiritual reliving,
In the moment
Mindful and settling
Wading in a pond of morning dew

She can reach out, like to her newborn, baby child
Stretching, peaceful and with passion
And singing in her sleep
While her body smiles

She is surrounded by thousands of expanding ripples
She is warm and swelling, it joyfully tickles
She will be carried back to wakeful shores
To the conscious and the living
While softly whispering adieu to her sleep,
Becoming day
As all else drifts away
She will open her eyes to light,
Rejuvenation and blue sky of morning

Lady Willow,
Stretches, yawns
And rubs her eyes
Stardust falls
As glitter on her gifted body
Continuing with each, moment, she goes

Intoxicated Moratorium

I don’t know where or when they lost their way
Rebounding off relationship
Through purgatory, antisocial subgroups, slipping
Into spray-paint, one-way, narrow toll express-lanes
Following

They brake and roll in constant crowds
Of drone bees swarming,
Helplessly addicted to the hive
Of honey-sweet possessions and instant gratification
Frantically alive

White knuckle hands clutch steering wheels
While speeding, lost, to screaming stops
As coffee spills and tires squeal
Chaos interference in crammed roadway slots,
Their rear-view disappears

Regressed to extended adolescents,
Curled in fetal shells of need, consuming goods
Sad shufflers of bourgeois descendents
Feeling frozen and misunderstood
Pill popping in repression

See them race for name and status
Automatons so blind and faceless
Failing to breath, or look in mirrors more for vanity,
They cry in dark dilation tunnels,
Surrender, in blood shot eyes

All along, each link,
Extends the moratorium one-lane human chain
Every new relationship
Begins again, the same, again…
The same

One way

One Way

Fast lane, human chain…

Institutions of minds and of each other -

Such is Constant, on March 17th 2002.

And I imagine such pain
As we open through a split seem,
Blind while lodged between the concrete and the absurd
Entirely submerged but we cannot swim
Crawling through birth
Drowning yet waking
Racing through a stream to light
Fighting for that first breath
Strangled by the very noose that preserves us in our sacs, and held back
Awaiting dilation and thrust through the dark and dangerous canal
And the suffocating force of cruel reality, cramping and crushing
Blood smeared and purple, breathless from fear and stress
A tangled and shriveled mess of unknowingness and need
Contractions squeezing us like a vice
Subverting subdivisions of the sublime, uncanny
In every overtaking thought, unfinished and nauseating
Throwing up inside of the black and white tornado
Dropped in unfamiliar surroundings, sweating panic in the search lights, caged and digging our nails into its bleeding walls, we slide and fall
Slapped and prodded,
Poked and studied
Choking and crying
Soothing, sucking on the synthetic pacifier
Nurtured by our friendly manufacturer

We’ve entered an institution
It provides for us
It keeps us safe
It teaches us
It becomes us
It is accepted
It is God

And I should feel such pain
We beg to the institutions for an answer
A direction
We repress and become unconfident, incompetent, intoxicated and scared
Desolate
We lose our appetite
We regress in an unknowing dark where the monsters are
And the institution mothers us back to sleep
And sings us the popular song
She sings in colour and whores around her Victoria secret lingerie and rubs her sweaty billboard crotch in our fat, foaming faces


And I see such pain,
Several days on the afterbirth.

Mother’s water broke while she was being fucked by the system
She was strung out on crack and lost in a horrible whirl of terrifying repetition
The institution provided her a gun, a mirror, a baby and the streets
The essentials for a hard learned lesson
She shot at the mirror, watched a cloud of flashback shatter
Left her baby for another gun
A gun that made her matter
A gun that made her madder
A gun so much more sadder
A gun that killed her slowly
A numbness and an exit was her wish
But she got a longer death and utter loneliness

It burns

And we burn on
For several years
When seasons change with a stuttering heartbeat
New things happen so fast
While pace quickens before we’ve chosen our track
While we spend our first three morning hours stirring cups of an instant
We come to, crammed between yellow lines
Perfectly in formation
Following equie distant

Some strange force pulls us along on the pavement
Feeling as if we could nail the son of a bitch in front of us
Feeling pressured from the rear
But we are kept constant, in radar traffic and flat speed
In the innermost pit of our machines, rattling and ticking
We turn up our stereos, hide in media, call it mindful therapy
We pull over and find calm places to park
We seek solitude in the getaway
Sometimes the doors we close behind us let us back in through the windows

We take breaks behind a warehouse south of the city, still running
Inspired somewhat and hushed as we are de-escalated by the very sight of wheat fields bending in the easterly breath that whistled through the railway path
Of four seasons constant, yet changing

Wind

Under the twilight, of the twilight and because of the twilight,
She ages
Our mother
On the mountainous and deep divide that we look to in the furthest distance
Watery, rocky, dense and rolling in the sunset
Shedding in the whisk of change that sweeps and brushes her natural beauty away like tangles and knots of burs and weeds as industry tears her down and rams her when she’s most vulnerable and true
We change our films to highest resolution and snap a shot for the archives and cry
As we drive the earthmover over her and think about our families plans to go to Florida

Separation
She opens her skirt, on stage of the horizon of tense, day and night, dark and light
Opening, as the highway races through her, spilling fluid and burning rubber
She turns and collects us and all woes and tears
Polluting her oceans
Eroding from years and years of constant motion

Spreading open her clouds to show her dark, damp cavern to humanity
That the institution tells us is inappropriate to see
The wind and shrubs sway against her prickly pines and rose petals and thorns and moist landings creating friction and wear back and forth, and mudslide until she moans and bleeds from being delighted and pricked, as tears and sap drip from her orifices
And she lies still as we use and abuse her
And she is far from a virgin now
As we plough through her path with our heavy boots and sharp blades
Weeding her and deflowering endlessly
But we just keep taking more of her
And she keeps giving
In a dusty moonbeam

Her tears of acid rain singe crevices and canyons deep into her mustard skin of sorrow and lament
So do we
Cracked, dried out wastelands, landmarked by greedy fingers of science forensically dating her
In ignorance to the faint cries from salt water pools, becoming puddles in the hot sun
Incoherent gargling, written off in the social work books as alley way waste-aways
Or as a breakthrough finding of an ancient sea scroll buried by the ages of suffering
Still,
The same
We spend centuries digging to find that so much has remained constant
Yet so many of us fight to bury the present
So we ask why
And we project blame

Some God
Some Say

I know such pain

A train thunders right through the middle of this dry-freeze golden brown
And diminishes as it chases the green and yellow on rusty rails
Riding time’s tracks
And the wheat field snaps back
Westward, startling me into reality and routine as I consider possible outcomes of future roads yet to travel
As my thoughts oscillate from the field to the highway
I slip into gear and remember what has gone away,
Lies ahead
And keeps me here
Fondly, thankfully, and sadly
And it all blends as uncertainty
In a rocky horseshoe, out of eyesight and earshot as the fan kicks in to cool this anxious and overwhelmed heart

And I feel such a strong pain

Torn

We acknowledge this as the fan halts
And the water runs dry only when we first notice we’re thirsty
While the engine still hums, ticks and rattles
We pretend that we are still healthy
Accelerating with a heavy and desperate foot
Running in circles but imagining differences in continuity
Staring at our Dali skies and Picasso blues and Van Gogh fields
And most terrifyingly, our Orwell buildings
And thinking of Shakespeare, seeing the humour in tragedy suffering and ruin
When in Rome, they say
As they turn on the T.V

Yes the moment slips behind us but it’s claws, they’re in our stomachs,
Digging

The falcons and the gulls, and the crows too
And the meadowlark alone, off there distanced and cautious of so much
O’er this field in our rearview mirrors
Do they keep or care for pace and formation?
Or do they be?
As is
And accept it for thee
Simple and honest
Very toeist
But don’t they still chase?
Are they a scant fearful too?
If they glide for too long will they falter?
Will they sink?
Will they become constant?
Will they die?
Do they?

Every living thing has a pain
Does every living thing have a plan?
Does a clear lake represent our purity of conscience?
Our depuration
Our catharsis?
Reflections of the mountains, sky, sun, clouds, leaves, stars and all that moves
The trains too
They keep pace
They fall behind
They’re scheduled
They’re timed
They’re on linear lines
Many different boxcars, housing separate cargo,
Traveling to many different places, all on the same ride, all together, all with similar walls, all for different uses, and on them hangs so many different customs
But all with doors, and all with windows, although so many now are barred and locked
So many still have mirrors

We become fearful, confused and lose confidence
We change course and turn back
We steer
We split wind, changing highways
It separates into new directions and gets lost, cycling to reconnect
We travel or keep quiet to forget
We purchase vaults
We store without sorting
We keep such pain
We keep constant
We bleed
We need to talk

And I write such pain
As my engine hums along
My fan clicks on intermittently and cools me
Low and living
Mortal and grounded
And I move on
Around this turn again
Looking for and finding all sorts of different things
All sorts of different things
All sorts of different things
Rolling, swirling, cycling, spinning, turning, swirling, circling
All sorts of different things
Around this turn again
Afraid of something, someone
Dying

Wounds and blood
Chasing and redefining destiny
Looking to the stars for answers
Looking through an electron microscope
Looking to the stars for answers
Looking through the microscope
Going to confession
Blaming
Doing it again
Looking deeper next time
For healing and nursing
Not going
But cycling and searing
Acquiring infection
Afraid of our desires
It makes us desperate
And I feel such pain

Destiny?

There are quests and questions and many different answers
Since the first seem was split
Since the first warm white cap wave flooded over the valley walls,
Into the Natural crevices of her moist and fertile soil
By instinctual force and did tear her rosy petals
To slide back away in retreat, back into dark places
To leave her burdened, scared and disheveled
To watch her child leave and go to war to fight for his peace
As a nursery rhyme changed to nightmare

And I feel

Fire, wind, and storm
A hunger too
I miss
I want
And I feel the scythes
Missing my field
And wanting too often when not sure if needing

When on the yellow linear line is killing me
So is this segregating and all conforming way
So I’ll reach for my sharpest weapon of escape
And spear it into my biggest and bluest vein
Pumping the ink of life support
Into my body and freeing my mind for a while
Along this constant drive so cyclical
Each foot, each step, each kilometer, each claw mark
A new high
A good poison in my blood for a change
A stream of purple fueling me
Keeping constant
Keeping cool
Singing
Flowing

Killing off impulses that only multiply to divide and repel one and other
In utter war and strife
Soon to be completely drowned in pools of boiling purple bursting to cause orgasmic creative convulsions
And I write
And I write!
And I Write!
I stab again, staying constant and barbaric, it’s almost primitively sexual as the prose speak so passionate yet flow uncontrollably as if the eventual pinnacle is inevitable and certain to erupt
And ensues, a great and long awaited therapeutic release!

The amniotic sac explodes and gushes
And I can simply be
For a while
An irrational yet safe getaway
And I’ll feel no pain

The institution was my body
The institution kept me drunk
Other institutions created me
Other souls kept hidden
I feel them so
I hope they’ll change
They keep constant

My pen clicks on
Keeps constant
And on the road I still must drive
I think of such pain
I deal with the pain
I deal slowly and it still cycles
I may escape
I may endure
I may challenge my pain
Still uncertain, unknowing
But I don’t want some people, some things to die
So I’ll fight to change within what’s constant
And then I’ll constantly change

I Apologize

Ashamed to enter our bedroom,
I am wondering how to make it all right
I failed to see you needing me
I apologize

Now I need to be forgiven
I know, that you needed things from me too
Although I live in fantasies,
I still come home to you

I lay awake in the next room
So cold and lonely without you, my love
I swear it’s true

I know you don’t want to hurt me tonight
But you are forced to make me realize,
You’ve opened your whole self to bring me inside
But now, alone and crying, you are not sure why

There now is distance between us, I know
I’m afraid of where things will go
But I still want you in my life
I apologize

I lay awake in the next room
So cold and lonely without you, my love
I swear it’s true

Ashamed to face you, I’ve made a mistake
The neglecting, I can’t ever erase
Please let me slowly back to your side
I apologize

He Never Understood

Wandering on the road, direction unknown
Lost in speeding streets, Miles from a home
City slum so cold, A father cries alone
Walking in a whirl, running from the world

And I know shadows fall, then there’s fear
Why is it so, that our traces disappear?
What’s left then, of all of us?

Aimless roaming, endless for eternity
Howling ghostly wind, winter storm begins
Thinking of his son; wondering where did he go wrong.
Marries all the blame, he’ll never be the same

And he knows deep inside he cannot cope
Is it so then, that our world is beyond hope?
It can’t be! Not for me and surely not his son!
He brakes down;
I should have told him when I could
Now it’s too late, he pulled the trigger
He just never understood!
He was only a kid!

The young and devoted, fresh out of college case worker
Was much too late to save this one
But the worker was never going to be free from the institutions anyway
In the psychiatric ward she’s catatonic
Reality kind of freaked her out too I guess
Must be all this constant stress

It’s in all of the headlines
She’s in this institution; he’s in that institution,
This person follows a fine institutional code
Where is the institution when our souls are wandering,
In traffic,
Undiagnosed?

You just can’t put a diagnosis or a cast on a shattered dream,
Or a suffering soul
To me it’s no surprise

And I know that these dark streets are much too dead
All lamps light have burnt above my head
And there seems nothing to change things left
Here cries an ever wandering child
Who ever only wanted something pure and good
He was much too honest
He never understood
He’ll still wonder on for many, many miles
For lifetimes, in other bodies
Long after all institutions have closed the file

Hamilton Mountain

I stood on top of Hamilton Mountain
Looking down at the broken hills
And withered leaves,
Rattled months ago, long dead
And bare branches
On the century’s trees,
In the cold, callous season of nakedness and blind alleys
Winding down on the freezing street wanderers

I stood on top of jagged rock
Interlocked
Dry and cracked
Overlooking the blizzard moving southeast
On my way head on, into it all
At the city center

I was pulled along in my little red car
Moving west, I couldn’t pull over fast enough to take a mental picture
Now I look back up and see the snow cascading, diving and swooping
Into, against and off of my windshield wipers, swatting
Like swarms of anxious thoughts, infesting me
Infected by sleepy gray and kept dry and itchy under its’ blanket,
I find that the more I hone in,
The more I drone on
Toward the institutions
Jagged roads and stop/go traffic
Broken and divided but bumper to bumper
Segregated, marginalized, and institutionalized
But not familiarized, in such factories
Interesting how I can identify while remaining on-course
As I wind down the dead, dark escarpment and meander
To find myself lethargic within the university; photocopying resumes,
Watching time turn on the wall

Destructive Influence In Cognition


And I say
Aye-hey’ee-ayee
Hold the present feeling inside
Make it
Sway-aye-ay
While you sigh

I am the owner of my own
Circumstance

Destructive influence
Is my own
Demise

I build environments
Of irrational cognition
Where, even inside fantasy
I cannot survive

So, in shallow Red Hill Valley Creek,
I am wringing blistered hands
Near the dark and echoing tin hollow
Underneath the rushing traffic
Where gang graffiti fills the cement walls
My feet still ache from trying to find space,
Somewhere in this crowded land
I’ll force myself to let go
And escape
In one small empty place
And practice mindful therapy
I tell myself to just let be

Come and Hold Me

Wait. Come and hold me in your arms again
Wait. Open up your heart and love again

Don’t walk away now when I’m breaking down
I’ve tried so very hard to come around
I’ve cried all night so many times it’s true
I’ve buried all my wounds so I could be with you

I’ll try to lose my pride if you’ll stay for tonight
Don’t want to disappear without you by my side
You are not validated, now you feel betrayed
I’ll open up to you, I just need to feel safe

Wait. Come and hold me in your arms again
Wait. Open up your heart and love again
We’ve been through good and bad, despite who’s right or wrong (mirror/mirror)
We’ve loved each other through such pain for much too long

We hold each other’s cure for suffering
I know I haven’t been forgiving
Don’t walk away without remembering where you are
You’re close to someone who’ll embrace you without harm
Come hold me in your arms

Wait. Come and hold me in your arms again
Wait. Open up your heart and love again
We’ve been through good and bad, despite who’s right or wrong (but then you said…!)
We’ve loved each other through the hurt for much too long
We’ve loved each other all along

(Bridge)

Connections


I am so much a part of you
And you me
Together,
I feel we can accomplish everything
You are the first thing that I think of,
When I rise
You are the where my daydreams take me
You take me with your eyes

You have my complete and honest focus
Which is awfully hard to gain
You are the accomplishments of my undying love
And my absolute best friend

After lifetimes of individual suffering and struggles,
Our bodies finally cracked,
Once our souls broke free and connected
On all levels,
We joined,
Becoming partners
Like children,
Resurrected

You and I are living proof
That this life is worth living
We inspire the otherwise doubtful and careful
With our divine connection and sense of being
We are not one
We know that
We are true
We are, together,
Two

We are interwoven with all elements,
The universe and everything that is deeply beautiful
Within the cycle
We will, through change and crisis,
Get hurt,
Hurt each other
But we will never be broken again
We have already died to get here
Our present focus, though shifty, is clear
We’re getting stronger
I love you beyond forever
And after,
My dear, sweet gift
You are
My soul-mate
Again and again
Without end,
From your Aquamarine-eyed Aquarian

And better places are with youMy love for you, my precious gift,
Keeps hope in all my alleys
When all this fear from thought distortion,
Gang rapes every peaceful and assertive truth
From this anxious mind’s impaired cognition,

I drop lifeless,
Asphyxiated, beaten blind from the fear of the unknown,
That I conjure,
So chaotic,
Cycling in a coward cove,

I force my eyes closed, like dropping guillotines,
Shattering rationality, in a noose
While bulging eyes break and shards are smashed,
The swirling cold winds scream
And tear my flesh with searing self-talk sarcasm

I pray to God, in panic attack,
Falling short of breath, on my whipped and welted back
Slave to self-loathing
I pray
I pray
I wish the struggle away

I feel myself fade,
Far away
In a while, I feel peaceful
I think of you
Through all of my mind’s catastrophic disarray,
It’s all that helps me through
Sweet Princess Euphoria,
Please wait for me
I love you

Baby Blue Eyes

Have you ever seen Baby Blue’s eyes before?
Have you ever heard neglected cries,
beyond bedroom doors?
Oh mother young, you’ve lost your way
You’re left behind and have been led astray
Hush now child
Sorrow sighs
You can’t say a word
You can’t even express your fears
But Baby Blue,
Baby Blue,
Wakes and wanes
She cries real tears
Tears of need
Tears so blue, why can’t you see?

Have you ever seen a losing streak come to an end?
Have you ever given dreams a chance and started fresh again?
You and he played your games and ignored all the risks
Threw caution to the wind and rushed through every moment
While the simple things, you missed
But here you are, alone and clean,
You barely have survived
Your second chance to be someone,
Without you, bleeds inside
Baby Blue!
Baby Blue wakes and wanes

Baby blue, you are both starving and lonely
Nobody’s come to help you
But you do not ask
You cannot give up now
This mess you’ve fell into,
You can’t leave behind
There is someone more precious,
Who unconditionally needs you
Who suffers more than you
The child of a child,
Baby Blue
She cries for you

Do you know what to do?
Can you make it alone Baby Blue?

What Is There Left To Interpret?
Interpret This!

and Entertain That...!!!

As I sit still and observe the artistry on stage at Massey Hall
In a mystic haze of floodlight and of electronic resonation
Vibrant in the captivated glowing eyes of pale-face followers
Under musical sedation, between towering cathedral walls
And stain glass, swaying to the cello bows so gently hypnotizing,

I begin to feel as if I’m under post concussive state,
A feeling of inadequacy forcing me to squirm, displaced
A burning inflammation in this repetition whining
And a wailing, like from spirits of the suffering sea,
Of slain creatures screams washing over me, unsettling

I can’t maintain a comfort, not at all, sinking in my theatre seat

My mind begins to question every overwhelming stimulus
Spinning in a psychological discomfort, restless
Seeing such a repetition in this trendy audience
Wearing masks of privilege and of upper class
They’re all worn, from the first row to the very last

What gives this quality to these pretenders?
(To the gifted, golden spoon-fed scholar clones in cliques)
Of identity in masquerade ballrooms to be
Pristine intellectual interpreters and buyers at these artists’s auction,
Selling something, once unique, now catchy and familiar, to critique?

I suppose then, after all, on second thought, once more, again, I like it!

For after all then, “It” or “They” have given me the freedom to decide it

Where there is Solace in Avoidance and Escape

When such steaming agitation burns my nerves
And sirens scream through dark, dilation tunnels
In the black-hole pupils of these eyes
And I sink further, in this theatre absurd
Beneath this foolish pale-mask-face
That whispers shy soliloquy through plaster-

Mouth to the imaginary audience of scrutiny
At a souled out show, I've finally reached
Capacity, as ears hear only ridicule-

Laughter, as my life's become performance-
Act, and I escape to calm, displaced dimensions,
Worn out and listless from this paranoia
That has howled in phantasmal storm winds
Within my thundering mind, now swelling

As if in a post-concussive state
I now am forced to overmedicate
From my reflexive conscious purgatory
I, so blocked creatively, avoid and escape

Copyright ©2002 Raymond John Scott

When such steaming agitation burns my nerves
And sirens scream through dilation tunnels
In the black-hole pupils of these eyes
And I sink further, in this theatre absurd
Beneath this foolish pale-mask-face
That whispers shy soliloquy through plaster-

Mouth to the imaginary audience of scrutiny
At a soul out show, I've finally reached
Capacity

I escape to calm, displaced dimensions,
Worn out and listless from this paranoia
That howled in phantasmal storm winds
Within my thundering mind, now swelling

As if in a post-concussive state
I now am forced to overmedicate
From my reflexive conscious purgatory
I, so blocked creatively, escape

 What Is Within This Gentle Sigh?

Ah, what is within this gentle sigh at dusk?
That swiftly stirs up glitter out of soot
And magic within dead leaf powdery rust
Swept up from ash of yesterday, to swirl
And dance in twilight gleam
Through ubiquitous, glowing violet skies
To shimmer in this autumn dream
Wherein flows a somber, sleepy feeling
As this sunset fades in drizzling distance,
Drifting, Where I follow, wavering
On the misty sea, of sailing consciousness
Swaying to the slow, caressing brush
Of bowing maple trees in weeping wind,
Shivering, nearly leafless
What are these deep and endless welling eyes
Of turquoise still lamenting?
As this new darkness washes over now,
In waves of recurrence
Where the season bids a soft adieu
Under comatose, frosting over and forsaken
Weeping glossy dew
And here, prepared am I to rest another evening and
rejuvenate to start anew
While crows are cawing in the night of echoing black-holes
and casting shadows in the moonbeam off of mountain walls
A shutter fills my senses while the chill screams deep into my soul
I walk out of where I sat, beneath the willow tree as heavy snow begins to fall

Copyright ©2002 Raymond John Scott

Staring into Puddles

Staring into water-portraits of himself
He cries in funhouse mirrored mimicry
Living half the day away inside of fantasy
He'll babble incoherent holophrase, amazed
He studies his reflection in a muddy puddle
Frozen catatonic, drenched in winter drizzle
Welling teal tears flow, splash and ripple
Stirring clouds to smother his warp-double
Mood-swing-laughter projects from obsession
He has died inside the animated film
In this utter state of over stimulation
He runs off to a new dimension, in a whim
Playing hide and seek behind the coat rack
Giggling while his withering guardian calls
Lost in overcrowded shopping malls,
He suffocates in panic, social phobia attacks
He kicks his rain boots through the window
In explosive rage and tantrum fuss
And scatters to a million broken bits of dust
After shattering the looking glass

Copyright ©2002 Raymond John Scott

Eric Keeps on Staring


Staring into scattered portraits of himself,
That's Eric, crying in the mirror of mimicry
Living half the day away inside of fantasy
He'll utter incoherent holophrase, amazed

Acts of movie screen emotions mood swing
As he'll laugh, then cry, performing
In a puzzling drama, shockingly familiar
To that rainy day dialogue with a mud-puddle

Gazing into cracked and cloudy rear views
As a client in his parent's car, he is amused
Reciting lines, in syndication, from cartoons
While entertaining playmates he can choose

In many different copies, frames and outtakes
In a glass-pane, pond or dream recital
Fragments, from the person he portrays
Uncertain in which one he will behave

Eric plays back photos of some memory
Someway saved as snapshots, cycling
Watching closely, his reflections
He glues together, surreal recollections

The System

“Every system is a sum of interchangeable parts”

It’s Children

Bothered, forced and beaten
Broken, taken, homeless then hurt
Scared, desperate, split up, angry and separated
Twisting the sharp, jagged glass of anxiety and abuse deep into a predisposed opening of worthlessness, Inflicted
Dragged down dirty, urine soaked hallways by a whelm of blue confusion
And a damp, musty smell stirs up from the carpet being pounded out,
By all the commotion
Looking up, limp, dizzy and exhausted, after kicking at the shins of this oppressing force,
“Ward”, Disoriented and breathless
Agreeing to take the pill
Powerless
Closing off

…And It’s Parents

Denying
Seeking empathy, and given pity
Hard for them to be hated out loud because it’s not professional nor ethical, nor responsible, nor culturally, socially, or ethnically moral
It’s a cycle; it’s a shame
But someone must take blame!
Lashing
Selfish and senseless
Inflicting, with injury and shattering hopes leaving syringe scars
Chasing what should be nurtured and cherished, into dark, infested crawl spaces
With bars
To be crammed and crowded,
Closing in with each new need unmet
It’s a sickness, suffering

…It’s clients

Being abandoned, being shackled in restraints, helpless
Being assessed, evaluated, counseled and classified, strictly confidentialized
Being teased and bribed
Becoming constantly defensive
Naked and defenseless
In need, yet defiant
Falsely self-reliant
…As It’s clients

They cover right up
They act aggressive to protect themselves from a world
That seems to cave in around them
A foothold that seems to sweep out from under them
They’ve been dressed in the institution’s clothes
And then the society tears them off
When again time to switch houses
They question
They kick in walls
They carve lines into their arms with compasses, already scarred
They become oblivious to truth and innocence,
Become less and less naïve
They find pain as the only way to feel, to fit in, and to belong,
Because it is all they know
For it’s the only thing not ripped away!
It’s almost momentary solace
It’s comfort for a while
It stays
Amidst everything else weighing so heavily, that constantly rapes and betrays

…It’s individuals,

Disappearing and unheard
Growing up, in all the wrong ways, all too fast
But triggered into events long past
Strangled by control
Wards of society
Bought and sold
Constantly repressing needs, wants, emotions, personal goals
Because of what early learning and painful observing has told
Behold,
What years and years of incongruity mold!

…The Child and Youth Worker

Coaching and telling
Not listening
Acting “The Professional,” “The Talker,” “The Counselor”
Not “The Person”
Always finding someone else willing to be, and whom they are, willing “To fix”
Not “Being Helped”

…The Student

Unsure to raise a hand

Unsure to test the new techniques
He doesn’t know what on Earth to say
Uneasy, worried, sleepless and sad
Torn

Who is he and what is he “Supposed to be?”
Right in the middle of all this
Unfortunate, short-circuiting want, expectation and need,
Burning out while wondering if he should keep trying to keep speed
In a crawl space, clawing
Shrinking
Wondering “Why is my father chasing after a PHD and not me?”


March 28th, 2002

The System, Jist:

You say, “Every system is a sum of interchangeable parts!”
It’s Children: Are bothered, forced and beaten. They are broken, taken, homeless then hurt. They are scared, desperate, split up, angry and separated. They self-inflict the jagged glass of learned anxiety and abuse into a predisposition of worthlessness, twisting. When they cry out the only way they know how, they are immediately “held” in other words, dragged down dirty, urine soaked hallways by a whelm of blue confusion and a damp, musty smell stirs up from the carpet being pounded and stomped out by all the commotion.
Looking up, limp, dizzy and exhausted, after kicking at the shins of this oppressing force, our “wards,” disoriented and breathless, comply and are administered “The Meds.” They close off further, finally, during late-night shift change, in their treatment center beds.

…And It’s Parents: Despite what they may or may not have asked for, are given condescended empathy, and are given seminar for structure. They are text-book counseled because it’s not professional nor ethical, nor responsible, nor culturally, socially, or ethnically moral to become emotionally involved. There’s a cycle in there somewhere. “What a shame,” some say.
As clients: abandoned, and helplessly shackled in purgatory restraints, they are assessed, evaluated, counseled and classified, under rigid confidential code. They are all teased and bribed with token and reward. They are set up with goals and action plans and, of course, consequences. They are naked and defenseless; in need, yet defiant and falsely self-reliant. They cover right up in a second hand wool blanket womb of developmental regression. They are our lambs. They act aggressive in crawl spaces to protect themselves from a world that seems to cave in around them. They’ve been dressed in the institution clothes and then the society tears them off when again time to switch “Homes.” They kick in walls and carve lines into their arms with compasses, already stained.
They learn from each other how to take an inch and hoard a mile, forming antisocial affiliations; acting naïve with alternate motives while hiding agendas. They find deviance as the only way to feel, to fit in, and to belong, because it is all they know for it’s the only thing not ripped away by the law. It’s almost momentary solace. It’s comfort for a while
It stays amidst a terrifyingly confusing world of sadness, false promises and surprise (or surprisingly predictable) abandonment.
…The Child and Youth Workers: Coaching and telling but not listening. They act as “The Professional,” “The Talker,” “The Counselor” not “The Person.” They always project on someone else, the need to be, and who they are, willing “To fix” They are compulsive caregivers who are not “Helped” or “Helping.”
…The Students: Unsure to raise a hand and intimidated out of “Technique.” They don’t know what on Earth to say when finally faced with crisis. Uneasy, worried, sleepless and sad, they become slowly detached.
Who is the Individual? Who is he and what is he “supposed to be?” Right in the middle of all this most unfortunate, short-circuiting want, expectation and need, he is burning out while wondering if he should continue trying to keep speed in a crawl space, clawing, shrinking, wondering and desiring.

Sculptor Woman Grieving
Retired to her shrouded chamber, shuffling and listless
Lady Languor’s anguished mind and naked body weeps
Whimpering while she wilts and wrinkles, bored, bereft and loveless
Seeping in a warm, milk-white lagoon of satin sheets
Her soul, a bewailing Banshee, howls out the wide-screen window,
Gale-storm grief through shivering white willows

Heart lamenting, lulls, while sorrow pouts and sighs
From a drained dry mouth and shuttering slit pearl dripping eyes
Betwixt her soft, damp thighs and crimped bed dress,
Squirming, squeezing, tightly absorbed, needing breakpoint soon
She thirsts and licks her lips, wriggles’ round,
Pressing a spine-curving thrust from bare backside and waist,
To firm, and swelling arched out chest,
Nipples nearly burning, that no sucking mouth will ever taste
A moist and rosy crevice flumes,
Displacement’s brief excreted rhapsody
Fulfillment rushes, forced too soon
Blushed buds in swampy shrub have burst to bloom, so free
And flowery, for the final time, She pants and pours, breathing
Misty mournful lilac last goodbye,
Rippling sigh across her mattress, finally, waves of peace

Through swaying sheers and brushed back blinds
The whist of silence flowing
Streams of shimmering starlight clustering,
Sheen in her welling waxed and glazing eyes
Sweet and soothing cries,
Through pixy panpipe whirlwind blowing,
Pirouette and ripple
While sculptor’s fingers, stained and coated, gently feel
The hollow in her dewy thicket closing

Alone, she moans and curls in deep repression
Carefully, cocooned nude silk flesh
She’s wrapped up tight in a satin womb
Waning ‘neath a pale, daub sheathed, skylight moon

Given her total life to art, and having lost the burning kiln of passion
Indeed, she suffers, listless,
Oh, so far too soon

Listlessness Lay Sleeping Raymond J. Scott

Listless, Lady Languor sleeps
Sinking slow in satin sheets
She pouts and sighs a whimpering breeze,
Through violet veils of lace, so misty

And beams of moonlight pierce to trace
Shadowy web-lines on her face
Hushing whispers, through her window
Spirits singing through white willows

A whelm of light reflexive from the crystal clustering sky
And cold air follows through her screen,
Ruffling loose, discarded paper dreams
Letters left by love, now lost, scattered, round her bedside

Soon to swing, sway and brush, like branches rustling nerves
To Sweep back dream sands, screen filtered flood-winds rush
Like dust blown by panpipes weeping
Magic, melodic and softly, cries heard seeping

She gently strokes her own nude flesh
She wraps up tight in a silk cocoon
Dreaming ‘way what’s deeply repressed
Slowly settling and shrinking, rolled up in regression’s womb

And what is to be?


Oh such wondrous wishes
Sailing away,
Unraveling, bending
(Separate, folding seems),
Folding diagonally
Smoothing out in one wave

Southeast to Northwest
Carrying my thoughts across West Lake

And what is to come?
Of yearnings, longings
Desires dawning
Where will they go?
Is it possible to know?

And where will I be?
On porches lamenting?
On benches forsaken?
Seeking shelter under crying skies?

Where will I go?

Will I chase the sails?
Will I fade in the wake?
Will I rest so weary?
Or will I live for my sake?

And what of my experiences

Will they stay in my heart?
Will they shine in my eyes?
Will I feel them at night?
When stars fill the skies?

And what is to be?

Of love, honesty and everything real
That has happened to me,
On the island that enables us to be,
Completely,
Who we both, forever need and want,
To be

Laughing Away


His clown eyes are crying
He spins on a round a bout
Carnival crowd laughs away

Caught in a funhouse mirror
Fearing the Ferris-wheel
Dreaming to escape every day

Make-up runs down his face
Tears blend in painted pools
Shimmering in the moonlight, like jewels

Candy floss clouds
Sugar coating the promenade
Beneath the mask he will fade

(On the outside, laughing away)
(Clown is laughing away…)

Looking inside himself
Hearing his inner voice
Screaming for freedom of will
Feeling Society
Drowning him with their fears
Sinking in shoes he can’t fill

(And they are laughing away)
(On the outside, laughing, laughing away..)
(Ah, ah-ah, ah-ah)

Juggling emotions and hiding in magic tricks
Bending and twisting balloons
Walking on stilts, over stepping relationships
Hopes of retiring soon

(Laughing away)
(Laughing away-aye-ay-ay)
(Ah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah…)

New Day Sway
Come sway to a new day
Breeze blows, you’re out there
Follow where your love goes
Sleeping ‘neath the willows

Winds bending a wheat-field
Waves of the blue sky
Rays of golden sunlight
Projecting hawk-wing shadows off the cloud-screen

(Chorus)

You’re still waiting for the wind
Wild rose, imaginative
You live in a dream

Swaying in a new way
Shimmering dew of morning,
Glistening where you’ve gone astray
True blue eyes are born today

Teardrops may have fallen
Somewhere in transition,
Between twilight and dawn,
From rain clouds, now they are gone

(Chorus)

You’re still waiting for the wind
Wild rose, imaginative
You live in a dream

Laying on a lily
Floating on a new day
Swaying to the wind chimes
Finding the way (Finding the way-eyaye)

Floating on a lily

The Barn Swallow

With the snows, they melt in springtime rain
Washing ‘way through meandering ravines,
My dreams

Spirit wind and piper’s call
Ghostly gales will follow in the fall
For now, I’ll find the sun

(Chorus)

Gliding through the daybreak hour
Wallowing in a babbling brook,
The swallow sings

Fall asleep so silently
Soothing sounds rustling through maple trees
The forest sighs

Running barefoot through the fields
Floating freely, wings on the wind
Take me, I am born again

(Repeat Chorus)

Gliding through the daybreak hour
Wallowing in a babbling brook
The swallow sings

Completely

When I am thinking at your side,
When I am sleeping in your bed,
When I am crying in your arms,
I need you

When I am in line next to you,
When I am watching you with kids,
When I am seeing you love life,
I am learning

I’m completely in love with you
I’m completely in love with you

When I am watching people love you,
When I am laughing at your moods,
When you help me feel myself,
You amaze me

When I’m scared that you’re frustrated,
When I am listening to your message,
When I’m dreaming of you all night long,
I long for you

I’m completely in love with you
I’m completely in love with you

Paths may change from day to day
You and I will take the better, gentler way

When I am looking to the future, frantic
When I’m dealing with the past and struggling,
When I’m handling the present, softly, slowly, you are in it

When I feel everybody’s comfort,
When I’m with you back at home,
When it finally feels like family should,
I know I’m not alone

I’m completely in love with you

I am complete when you kiss me
I am complete when you call my name
I am complete when our eyes meet
I’m complete now, there is somewhere to come home to stay

July is Lost


Staying, through dawn’s tranquility
Swaying, Wind whistling through the reeds
Feelings, Sorrow sighs through the heath

PLEASE!
Please reveal yourself!
Spirit, you are free!

(Harmonica)

Crying – Mourning thee forgone
Withering – Daffodils gather frost,

July is lost (ooh-ooh, ooh)
Shed a tear (ooh-ooh, ooh)
She disappears

Lilies, and neon roses
Silently, Fading row by row
Dissolve, Memories kept in a vase, no longer glow

After dawn’s dewy gardens, in soft, summer daybreaks,
No longer grow,
There lies the heavy weight of lament,
Like layers of ice on northern rivers,
That freezes their flow

Now – She follows
In winter wailing
Here – She expires
When gales blow

Evening OPUS

First, the eyelid of dusk flutters
Flashing beams through water-colour clouds,
While a monarch wavers in and out of shade
The end of day projects through stain glass
And Venetian blinds shutter
Then it closes
Slowly, flushing out the dust of day
In the rising tide, shark fin white caps roll,
Then fold, crashing into the beach,
Washing sand castles away,
Leaving filmy foam
All that is evening scatters
Like eroded gemstone, shale and pebble
Crystal fragments, shattered, reflect the moon-glow
Crickets creek while calm settles
Next, consciousness, reality, elude me,
slipping, sliding into a shrinking wave
Aging, the morning slumbers
Colder winds rush in, like daylight’s requiem and summer’s swan song
Sounds, once sweet and somber, oscillate
In restlessness
From shadows, emerge the howls of sorrow

The shutter re-opens
Only to absolve the blackness
Thunder and lightning blast
In humidity,
Hail clouds swell and in the gaping mouth of Hell
Warf-rats panic, shriek and hiss
At the beacon tower toll bell,
And night’s light switch
In a frenzied flurry, fish dive and scurry
Gulls shrill like sirens, and hurry
While the craven crow in cavern quakes,
Nervously cawing, for a scant, then escapes,
The phantasm flies like a falcon;
keen eye of the storm, a hunter
Cornering me in a quarry
Crippled by laziness and doubt, I am his prey

Through barriers and bounds
The lighthouse beam is blinding
Terror to the eagle, whos’ talons scratch and spark across the hilltops, then he even falters, falls and then, takes refuge
In the hollowed hush of a gully,
Where now, such peace is found,
In the wake of reoccurrence
Maple leaves fall to the ground

Now, glitter is glimmering
And dewdrops are dripping
The wind spirit sighs, her soft breath glides
Whirls of cool lake mists whisk away the masts of dream
Through worlds where the sun has long since set,
Frozen are the moon and stars
After the glowing twilight haze and northern lights,
Indigo sky did fade
And now,
Yesterday, in sleep,
She sways

The Electric Ghost of Lady Violet
In the middle of the night, (middle of the night) where it’s so cold outside
The moon glow wanes but in flickering resurrection, like flashing candle light projection,
She’s a beacon through the smoke clouds of my minds’ corrupted eyesight

Through weeping stardust, whispering (whispering wind)
Wet flowing breeze of goodnight to blow out the shivering wick
The misty wind so mellow (mellow)
The willow trees sway, sighing branches scratch the wires like the bow across the cellos
The waves of Lady Violet
The Power of Lady Violet
It’s all that I must know
Where is Lady Violet?
Where has she gone?

She calls for me when I fall deep into an autumn full moon sleep
I feel her spirit come to me. Her presence, blinding, prevents any visions of the angels I must see
I feel the touch of Lady Violet burning right through me
The hand of Lady Violet
Deeply, Lady Violet
Ohh ohhhh oooooh repeat chorus

Illusions of Ray Scott
Am I projecting your illusion as you smile and saunter by?
Am I self-subjecting to a second-hand smoke, clouding up my eyes?

I am nervous. I’m delighted and surprised when you appear
I’m tied in knots and clumsy, then, caught fumbling in fear

For when you look in my direction I feel butterflies
Fooling, for a moments’ millionth, as you smile, my own vacillating mind

I simply can’t remember when I’ve felt this way before
Even if this image is just only what I burn for
When all the while, all those looks, were looks and nothing more
And for the past few tears, I’ve sighed, from time to time to time
This reoccurring dream of you, have I merely dreamt it
All to cherish and adore, but cling to, yearn for, lose each time that I explore?

I will catch you when you fall

Oh Princess, Taylor-Rae

Your daddy loves you more each day

And I know, it won’t be long before I hold you in my arms

As you breathe each breath of life, I will hold you to my heart

And when you cry, I’ll sing this song, to softly soothe you till your tears are gone

When you dream, just dream away

Don’t let life stop you any day

And if you walk before you crawl, I will catch you when you fall.

I will catch you when you fall

Oh when you open up those eyes, you will see me start to cry

The tears that fall, they’re pure and true, because forever I will love you

I’ll keep you warm when you get cold

I’m your daddy, heart and soul

And when you’re frightened late at night, I’ll be right there, I am your nightlight

And when you dream, just dream away

Don’t let life stop you any day

And if you walk before you crawl, I will catch you when you fall

I will catch you when you fall

I will catch you when you fall

Blessings, 2010
Angels in the world with big blue dreaming eyes
You’re the meaning in my sunrise
Curious young minds searching for your place
Growing at a pace much to my surprise
I can’t keep you here for long. Soon you’ll both be gone
I won’t cry cause I’ll have to carry on
Always on my mind. Forever in my heart
Your smiles shine a light on me when all else seems so dark
My worries are for you, They’re hard to hide it’s true
Wanting all the very best the world has left for you is what I do
And I know of the great fear. It makes the weak disappear
Don’t be paralyzed in turmoil of this grand theatre absurd
Now I’ll help you to believe. Hold your hands while you succeed
Do my very best to show you that I can brave
While you’re away you both must know that my heart will not let go
To my little angels always on my mind
In a million lives of suffering I will hear my angels singing
And they help me to believe the good in them is still in me
I know our time is short. Mystery lies ahead
One day you’ll both hit the open road
The mountains you will climb, it all builds a sense of pride
Weakens in the storms when it’s time to fly, direction known
I’ll do my best for both of you. To help you find the bluer sky
For when it’s time for you to say goodbye,
I won’t cry

Edit of an Alleyway

Letters From The Alleyways and Postcards From the Edge:

...2007 ///there is a vast, autumn sunset in your smoldering eyes and a curiosity in me that seems to flow forever, like the tide slowly and calmly rolling out to sea// you seem to silently whisper to me, a scream that fills my soul with warmth and excitement/// you reflect the sheen of the stars in the clear summer night sky....... "don't pass me by" I drop in the sands, I crawl, I sink I cry..."Don’t Pass ME By"

///to meet with you, one night, under the sky of clouds and jewels, I’d swim toward your eyes, I would hold you in the moonlight// and whisper dear "you're magic"// while the glittering lake wind sighs... ..........dancing visions......... lucid dreams, placid feelings, floating streams (of consciousness and joyous bliss) spin pirouettes in the shoreline kiss... the wind reminds me of my ballerina, for I sigh, alone and reminisce. She was a sighing autumn wish...

.....(Her Royal chariot awaits) ............

I somehow agree, almost without thinking, there's a feeling of space and room and air and magic, forests, rivers, sky (you know when you actually hold someone and it feels magical and breathtaking), wonderful…? You are an angel! I am having visions of you floating across the starlit sky, with the full white moon, glowing like a milky lagoon behind you...

//I believe that I need comfort, intrigue, respect, love, passion, inspiration and compassion, from a mature and smooth woman of weeping aurora dust and starlight//

//let me bow for you, and take your hand in the misty dawn, uncovering forests sighing evergreen in spirit wind of unity. Allow me to flow along with you in rivers of calm blue patience while we’re unwrinkled in the roughest waves of time that fold n’ flow between us.

Gently, lips move closer, beating hearts and warm wet kisses of newness and good fortune light our minds and bodies full of bliss while we make love, spiritually, intellectually and madly, like young fools in the vastness of forever's blue-green ocean//

...reach for me like I do you and you'll be truly crowned my queen, royal blue...

//how does one express a gratitude for such an experience; for the miraculous, wondrous experience of basking in the glow of your smile?... you shine like a sky; clear and endless.

Your warm, kind smile flows through me, bringing calmness that I wish to bathe in forever

(or at least until 5 o’clock)

//you are a gem in a sea of rubble and ash. You shine to me and you’ve been reaching to me for so long and I to you, like a red giant sun through a galaxy of stars that glimmer for eternity in your reflection and I feel guilty for wanting what they have; what makes them live within the perfect kindness and creation within your eyes//

...you are profoundly attractive and I have been physically and mentally captivated; frozen in pleasure’s calm silence while wondering if we'll ever become any closer than now... the interval between us is like oceans and the waves are rocking me back into disaster's brutal typhooning reality...

… a dark, soft magic seems to underlie your mysticism... your face, so sweetly acknowledges me...(my heart and mind) with gentle feelings; flowing like a brook, calmly carrying my soul, securely now ........

A fiery look in you I see. It’s so intriguing, so appealing to me. Your Spanish ember-eyes and your flame of hair flow with scaling perfume gusts from your lilac sighing full bloom rose petal lips in a whirlwind of magic,

a breeze full of heat, both burning and tickling me off of my feat I’m bewildered in your brilliant light, warmed by your fire and curious to know more, eager to explore but shy and careful to touch. How I want and fear so much .............///

I’m dancing pirouettes round whirling sparks from snapping scented pine sticks just to carefully, quest and gaze upon thee........... ///

You seem both delicate and confident,,,, you are a pretty and shining gem:

///////I daydream of you gracefully turning in a twilight dusk, in the afterglow of the day, silhouetted by the dusty cough of fading sunlight, you toss your hair, round your neck while a whisper of wind sends silent shivers of spiritual lightning across the sea, calling, calling my name in this dream where I rest calmly, now, within this crowded, musty tavern room.............

...I’m now enchanted as well; by your smile and by your eyes, your skin and your hair which appears to reflect your self description and your presentation in perfect balance and beauty//

...shall I delicately reach to you like a rose up to the sun? Shall I slowly and so sweetly warm you with my breaths, quiet sighs in your ear? Should I wax you an intriguing insight of verse or stare deep into your deep blue eyes, while you-me, we're unearthed?

Should I dance close against you, one beat from two chests while you help me to find once again who I am... will this be enough to bring spark to your wick? Is it one simple twitch from a moment that extinguishes? Or is it eternal, what you burn for inside? If this is so, if you're warming, look deep in my eyes. There is question and mystery so many windy lagoons of curiosity and ubiquitous diamond night skies of journeys to answer for we both call like a loon in an echoing bay to the spirits of this circle while we ripple and sway///

... if I were an ocean and you the shore I would carefully caress you with my massaging wave ‘neath the glimmer of night, crystal clear in the full moon, I would slide to you, calmly while white sands erode. I would cradle you, kiss you and sing while you sleep like a flower, curled up and nude yet secure, so soft ///

the words you wax melt o’r me like the warm lake water under a full moon on the smooth sandy shore. My soul; ebbs and flows while reading your caption... now I gaze at your smile; captured, calmly in your attraction....

I found you by chance, while searching for something else. The wildfire in you screams a scorch. Let me know if you can find your balance and if it’s truly calming within what's tame. Is it reaching refuge in the stillness of my deep, cool, aquamarine smoked-out, waning eyes ................///Raymond John Scott, 2007..........///

Raining on Wednesday, at Second Cup

made still, by this shower of cold, murky rain; frozen layers of waning moon-wax teardrops Quickening with my shivering curiosity; in revolving rooms of predictions' labyrinths’’, meandering thoughts, like crooked curbside streams that wash down somber avenue and drain at the foggy intersection. What will you look like in the end?

While I gaze round rugged ledges and icy stone gray edges and come again; dragging myself back to here

It’s raining on Wednesday

Still I’m wondering when this strange new butterfly will gently flutter through a bluer sky and send a softer serenade of certain sun my way

Emmie, You n’ Me;

…A’ blowin’ gazillion bubbles with the geese

Tug boat tag, n’ splash pad playtime in the Hamilton harbour August breeze

Infectious laughter while I push you on the swings

Reminders of the billion joys my precious child brings

We’ll rescue hello kitty from the monster ‘neathe the swirly slide

Baby polar bear come n’ snuggle at my side

And we’ll bake our whatever’s left in the cupboard, crazy concoction – oatmeal chocolate chip, peanut butter honey bran corn-flour cookies,

You N’ Me

And you can lick the batter off the spoon

When I try to sneak some pre-work sleep,

You’ll bounce n’ belly whopper me

1,2,3… bums aweeeee!’

My sweet darlin’ Emmerie:

The more time we have, the more I miss you when it’s time to leave

I can hardly bare

I get so sad, lost n’ lonely and you’re on my mind everywhere

Runnin’ in flip flops ‘cross the fields with wind in hair, so wavy n’ fair

Or carrying you n’ all your clips, n’ bands n’ stuffies to the van

When your feet are sore, or your just missing Dad; holding your soft, little angel hand

Dad gets sad from time to time

So much to do, and those mistakes, yet still, I try n’ try n’ try.

Seeing you smile in the sun n’

Playin’ with you is rejuvenating, imaginative innocent, pure fun

I miss the way you look to me, adoring, you’re so sensitive n’ sweet

In everyway, growing more each day; while your essence glows, in rosie chipmunk cheeks

I love you Emmie; dearly and I hate to let you go

I’ll see you very soon, my sweetie, this is not a lie

Prepare yourself while Daddy rests up for more “Knee-Knee Rides”

All intentions to come through are real and always true

My heart and soul and all my thoughts are filled with love forever for you

Something that with certainty you will soon by your own way come to know

Yes , Your eyes are that colour indeed:

….an endless, ocean of brilliant, ubiquitous, azure drifting sparkling green and blue they are... deep and compelling... shining, pure and swelling, forever telling, into them, I am, fearlessly following, intrigued and questioning, patiently in stillness, listening...with each wave of consciousness that washes o’er me, ever gently smoothly soothing

Beams the heavens’ sun through floating clouds of white that shadows chase where I am flowing, rowing this raft, woes deserted, now just simply breathing as the flashing light reveals. You’re an angel of reassurance and your smile is the strong light honing

Or is that merely a melting glacier, reflecting all that surfaces then sleeps across the sandy shoreline of your sigh?

An ancient lost explorers’ lifetime fortune, a priceless antique treasure, lost at sea to journey into, bravely and yet, inexplicably foolishly

For finally, when I’ve crashed abruptly on dry lands’ mudslide escalator all eroding, I will break down, crying out, collapsing;

What’s this, an anchor of Egyptian jewels I cling to, manipulations mirage in an empty, endless, burning desert?

Or, have I finally found what all mariners have been searching for; the island far away…

the key to set our souls and our dead albatrosses free?

Is this a rescue mission for you or me?

Yes, your eyes are powerful n’ wondrous, deeply calming, calmly drowning -all of that …I am still strangely and yet certain that I passionately feel,

Indeed

For My 9-Year-Old Daughter on Her First Day Back At School,

It’s your first day back at school, sweet Taylor-Rae Morgan Scott

My thoughts are with you all day long, hoping and praying you’ll give this your most confident, courageous shot.

I feel the fears you hold

But my mind hangs onto you, securely

I love you very much

And hopefully, knowing that comes surely,

when you feel you can’t be strong

Be your wonderful, talented, brilliant self, my dear beautiful, amazing daughter

Form the habit that can never break, no matter what stands in your way or is a bother

Be you and no one else

For you will not, cannot ever, never, ever stray, in anyway. You won’t go wrong

Please, always remember, even during toughest times

Where rain skies pour n’ others tell you there’s no hope or sunshine

You’ve got your family and your Fathers’ love to hold you closely and support you, wherever you are, forever, all along

Miracle Bird on Rainbow Lake

When you feel the light of a star advance,

on your eyes, from the clear-night Simcoe sky, your mind’s in a dance,

With your dreams, coming true, waltzing cool waves, soft sands

Rainbow Lake, Trillium campers, hand in hand once again

Gliding gull, oversees all the miracles, so true

Our canoes ‘cross the shores’ tribulations gone through

If you can, close your eyes, stand still n’ breath for a moment or two

Wait n’ see. You’ll reflect what is shining on you

Campfire-light, dazzling while all of Waterford hears

Goodnight songs; sing-alongs, echoing throughout the years

‘Resonates in the glow of late August embers,

Children, once lost, we’ve now brought back, ‘shed some tears

Time to Remember

While the wounds of hardships turn to sailboats n’ kayaks of the gifted

Swimmers; splashing and diving n’ sharing

Spirits lifted.

The now, not the past is what brings us all together

Place a flower in the glass, plant a memory to last

To live forever

I was so mesmerized by the children laughing n’ smiling

We were all the same age, only treatment’s loving and living

Brought a tear to my eye, knowing all in our lives we must go through

In that moment or two, while the gull strangely flew

Over Rainbow Lake

Then I started singin’ again

No fears, out loud, cuz’ I was surrounded by talented, miracle-bird special friends

On Rainbow Lake

Dr. Garach and Clinic - The Maestros of Family Dentistry

Dr. Garach. Dr. Garach...

the Mozart of Family Dentistry; with his chiming scaling tools;

Playing my xylophone teeth like the nacht musique! 

Flossing’ string Vivaldi virtuosos are your experienced hygienists;

Fluoride flavours scale and strike chords on my senses, like

Four Seasons on my gums n’ rosy tongue buds.

And even with electric polish tools, they’re all so calm with gentle care.

And kind to children, they are so attentive and empathetically aware

My young Emmie loves to blast off, with her space shades on

while captaining the rocket chair.

She lets us take some toothbrushes and extra stickers home to share!

Such supportive, skilled and gentle staff; a pleasure when we come,

and we just can't get be there enough!

We are surprised when such a painless stay, so quickly is all done!

Dr. Garach, Dr. Garach; the maestro of the rhythmic, oral orchestra’s

got all of dentistry a’ singin,’ chatterin,’ even grindin,’ all are grinning!

Families, for their first time, walk in; slobberin’ and whinin’

N’ after all the pickin’ scalin, spitting n’ rinsing, leave soothed, sparkly n’ smiling!

All the “wisdom” that you give for proper, healthy oral practice...

…thanks for “filling” us all in!  

We’re so excited to race home with purple kangaroo toothbrushes in our hands

To hop up at the bathroom sink, with grins from ear to ear

N’ brush with watermelon toothpaste; tuff for tartar to appear!

But on our way out of your office door, there is one thing reception must make clear

Oopsie, that’s the difference on my bill!

Oh well. It’s okay!

It's been more than worth it!

For you all have turned my little daughters’ shrills n’ fears

into one big, twenty tooth shiny-smile, sparkling, happy thrill!

I hope we fit the “mould” at our appointment with you all

When pearly whites are x-rayed, are we worthy of a “plaque” upon your wall!

Dr. Garach. Dr. Garach,

The dentist we adore

Thanks to you, for our next snack, we’ll munch away on Macintosh n’ Granny Smith

with mulching molars to our hearts’ content.

Reminded from our happy, healthy full-mouths

that our time n’ money is well spent

While we’re still a'swayin’ from your tools a’resonatin' chiming’ scales n’ Four Season, Vivaldi Scores

Refreshed from floss-string plucking harp angels of dentistry

we’ll be a’ singin “tafe’ tiffy taye” and whistlin’ while we skip right past the candy store!

I Ride My Bike! Gotta’ Problem With That!

Oh Hi! I’m Elroy, n’ I’m gonna’ sing you all a very special song

About a very special relationship I have

Not with a girl

But with my one twue love…

My Bike!

One sunny morn where all the word’s asleep

I open up my shed when mom n’ dad are still n bed

I slide the mower aside, so I can pump my tires

On my mushroom grip Freestyle “Norco Spitfire”

I crank up the seat so the bars don’t knock my scabby knees that I use to lock the wheel ‘tween me, n’ align the gooseneck while I squeeze

And I polish my chrome rims, n’ oil my silvery chain

Give the bear-claw peddles toe-tap spins

Then strap my aerodynamic CHIPS helmet to my chin while hollerin’

“BMX Racers! Take your positions!”

I ride my bike (Gotta’ problem with that!)

I ride my bike (Gotta’ problem w’dat?)

I ride my bike – da dum dum, all through the day!

I race through the mud n’ get my Osh Bee Gosh jean overalls all wet

And I am flyin’ like the “G-Force Jet” n’ It looks like I just peed against the wind

I endo off the curb, oh no!

Not supposed to be a ramp! Tally ho! So good, so far

Just used it as a launch, to blast me into orbit or was that Cherrie drive ash fault?

Now all I see is stars!

Road hockey boys! Take me home! N’ mom can get me all stitched up!

I’ve fallen o’er the handle bars; my lip will have a real big scar

But when I’m set free from emergency I’ll fix my warped rim,

hop right back on and cry out, “No one stops my bike and me!”

I don’t use the seat! That way I get more speed

The chain catches on me, n’ tears my pants while I lock n’ sprain my knee

There’s Duncan, Vanyo n’ Janzen - his toys,

Slap-shot Bradnam, Pearson, good defense boys!

Road hockey out on Cindy halts abruptly,

In flies 29 Abraham Drive’s Elroy Knievel

The human Zamboni!

That’s two straight days they’ll have to scrape up Poor ol’ Elroy!

Holy Moly!

No, my lopsided, scratched up face won’t slow me

Nor’ will mom who’ll soon ground me

I’ll still race right out, n’ cut the lawn, n do the trim, n’ wash the car, n’ gather up allowance to buy a brand new bike for me!

I will reminisce of those dear days and evening rides

Where I’d grab my good ol’ mushroom grips n’ cruise till it’s too dark to see!

But I hop on my new shiny hog, n’ I ride and ride and ride all day!

Soon, the streetlights all come on, so I must put my brand new bike away

take Wayne n’ Mario n’ Lafontaine out from my spokes n’ I change into my Bo n’ Luke p.js

And all I seem to dream of is all the autumn leaves of, past rides; scatterin’ in my zippin’ breeze

And I’ll wake soon tomorrow, shed a tear for Norco, While I whiz n’ whir on my brand new P.K Ripper, Custom Freestyle

Full head o’ steam!

I ride my bike (gotta’ problem w’dat?)

I ride my bike (you’re on the football team!)

I ride my bike

All through the day!

Nice Chevette buddy!

Ole!

When one is degraded, one is receiving the D grade. When one agrees, one is receiving the A grade. Who is doing the grading?

It is impossible to behave adaptively or maladaptively, as the essence of the word BEHAVE is to have being but that is insubordination, being in a nation of sub-ordinates...sub / ordinary-ites...the graded and degraded... the agreers
the BETOLD.

Rolling out the glittering beach of pleasant dream dust, gently blowing

Off the Caribbean with a giant heavens’ sigh of aquamarine, nebulae in the wind of the Sea; calmly calling…desires

Truly…

On a cloud of weightless, snowy white

A ….secure blanket

Standing nude…

N’ open to the universe, to this world

Feeling it

Truly

Flowing….can I call

You?

On the mountains peek

Are you calling out?

With your body

Free

Naked

Your soul

Melting all anxieties away…rolling down like meandering, steamy glacier waters

Some turning to vapors and flowing…. Far - for many miles

… away…???

Into the evergreen n’ rivers of relaxations state

Replenishing the land, the forests, the Earth and you;

Flourishing, growing freely –

Thinking – peacefully - breathing, giving out / feeling???

Oxygen,

Yes,

Freely

For the Sake of Goodness

Winter winds are calling me like the dry whisper of a seducing ghost

She is taking me away and I can’t say no

The trance-like state sets in all around in her sigh of heavy gray

Through smoky tops of wartime houses’ chimneys

And the dreary drafts through old brick air cracks

And then,

In the crescendo of her echoing beckon cry, I’m left alone and falling,

like the leaves; all dead kites that broke away from brittle string-like branches

While the eagle’s talons explode off the cold stone frost escarpment cliffs

T’ward new fields he’ll soon soar over; hunting prey through dry wheat n’ corn maze

My mind and soul is taken to the far off azure world

While this body’s covered in the dusty, dried and burnt up scraps

of ended seasons’ smolder

Everything is suddenly so much older

The sun sets

Our dreams together end

There is no more hand in hand

For you and I again

Where we once planted in the garden; laughing childlike, playing

Wearing each others’ rings

Now, everything is wilted, all that was once standing

In the imminence of winter, sinking

We will wash out in the snow of dawn, in separate ways we’ll go

Though I still wonder what it may be when you’re all alone, in bed, not sleeping

If there’s any special memory still on your mind and in your heart

Of you and I,

You’re still forever keeping\

For the sake of goodness

And I hope it’s reassuring

And a comfort till you’re safely, calmly sleeping

Diseased by Passion

It feels like this moon is pulling me closer

But so is obligation

There’s a crystal sky shimmering

A shrine! A force field’s shielding it in heaven

So close, and then, so far

A breaking, burning star…dream dream, wish wish

The need screams deep inside me

This burning feeling in my veins, it’s passion

Never the time and always a burden / circumstance

Controlled by the gifts’ obsessions / what’s bound these hands?

Always the calm sea to sail in / it’s pulling me

When limbs must endlessly swim

It feels like I’m getting pulled in more each day

Just before I’m torn and turned another way

I’m frantically at war against the drone

I’m fading and alone

Diseased with passion

Diseased by passion

Diseased because of passion

I don’t ever want to change

I am suffering in change / chains

Dreams – dreams

Promethean dreams

All passion

Broken biography moon-dreams

Gets Clouded and chaotic

Electrical mind-storms

Controlling my dreams

Controlling my dreams

Condemned with the aging and nostalgic

All had so much passion

One thing occurred to me at three am last night in bed

So many years ago what my fathers’ song said

still plays over in my head

yesterday the road was paved with good intentions so it seemed

now the distance grows and I’m not a man and I’m losing so much sleep

on this long, rough e-road

at times, I feel so alone

No longer a child, I understand

Afraid still, to be more a man

For I’m no longer sure there’s such a thing

The bridge cross Welland Canal, it’s tipping / teetering

Like a scale where I’m stalling

It’s not a playground or a bush-party anymore,

over there on the other-side

I’m parked on the lift bridge where I’m staring t’ward Niagara and sinking

While the ships come in

And the locks close up

Where the walls break ‘way

And to memory’s grape vine I’m clinging

On this e-road, life-lasting

Afraid on one hand, to be a man

Turn the key to the cooled engine, then shift gear, with the dominant hand

The gates will open

On the Canal

The locks will discharge

The moan, cracks the ice

And there’s thunder and waning

In echoes and floodgates

Along the canal

And as far as reassurance goes:

For years, suppose, my personal path to happiness, has put up its own road blocks / there’s construction still

It’s true though, that I will allow this e-road to be gridlocked

and sometimes closed off by some adults, family, former friends

their doubts and fears had redirect affect, n’ some have misled, even handicapped much younger, foolish, dreaming me

One thing still on my mind, has always been, weighs so heavily

Reoccurring in a walking dream

What father idol, mentor always said to me, it clipped my wings, like jealousy

Even on the phone, from Hamilton, Halifax, eagle bay or Calgary

His advice still cuts right through me

It shrills in doubts n’ I can’t break free

He’d always say, well son, parts of that are ok at best and I hope at best it makes you at least feel good as a hobby but you could also play the lottery

Not ever once do I remember hearing from him or his ex-wife, mother dear, anxiety to me, you see,

Good job to you, my gifted son, you’re essence sets you free so dream and dream and you, you’ll always for forever be!

At thirty-six years old, with children of my own

While I’m living all alone

Once again, a victim and a participant in another ended marriage and broken home

I’m still stalling every now n’ then, on the long n’ rough e-road

And perhaps, still, over thinking, dreaming, yurning, wishing

There was more certainty and security and guidance on the paths along these I’m always driving

No good for you

When it came to my dreams

Now I’m still singin’ Thursday blue

Will you remember me at all?

There’s a silver flair of hope in your brilliant, eyes n’ dreaming smile

When the moon is on the rise

And you capture me right there

When time seems like it’s stopped, how so, we are delighted to not care

While I’m intrigued, captivated and compelled

to carry you ‘cross burning deserts, lava-fire seas,

rubble from collapsing massive towers, at the center of our sacred cities,

all that stands to stop us; tear our wills with hate and lies

through minefields of hatred n’ intolerance and crashing jets from terrorism’s kidnapped skies,

and quarrelling religious schismatic schizoids, n’war-stricken sects, n’ love forbidden poor lost fools

who would rather die to kill than live to compromise at best

so many of those sad, sensational, terrifying tabloid line ups for addictions’ news

Amidst all that’s mad, toxic, n’ sickening

Even shipwrecked on an island, I must hold you, anywhere

And all the spirits in the night

Lead us to a secret place

Where there’s release within the wind

And we’ll slowly start to cry

We’ll make love on our calm bay

While the worlds’ so far away

We have found ourselves, at last, in harmlessness embrace

There’s a pain from letting go

An ache in holding on

Where memories gently flow

The good still carry us along

The heroes take the unknown paths,

Many horrifying tasks

When clouds of darkness fall

Love is built; twin tower tall

If I’ve forgotten who I was

Or not sure what I’ve become

There’s forgiveness, hope and love

There’s shooting star-dreams, and tomorrow

There’s a reflection beaming off the lighthouse, from the new days’ rising sun

Where I hold you, far away, and also here, this way

Where we both feel free and safe

Do we keep our love away from them all?

(The fighters, leaders, the fear lords n’ cowards n’ all around suffering, sad shufflers n’ losers of far too much of it all)

Or do we fight the fighters to teach and share so much more of it all?

Not a loner by choice

All we need is a chance

All we want is some love

All we need is some air

To breathe on our own

All we have is ourselves n’ the fix

And all we’ve got is the cold n’ survival skills

Out here on the streets

We’ve got to just get on

It’s not food that we need

Nor a hostile, to take refuge, nor food

It’s an angry, awful maze

We’re clawin’ the walls of while we steal n’ run ‘round in scracthin’ up our veins

As we steal to survive

Take a deep hoot on our pipe

Keepin’ ourselves wide awake, still alive

Numbed in the darkness, let our fix come in

One day at a time’s not a’ phrase we live by

This world is so cruel

Can I get few bucks n’ some clean socks outta’ you!

Some hydrogen peroxide’ll clean the dirty scabs outta’ my arm,

N’ wash the sting from my skin

Let me get a hoot in

Not a loner by choice

Not a stat on your streets

Not a loser with no voice

Not an addict in need

Where is the land of opportunity? Aye yeah.

I’m almost gone. I can’t go on without some hope that something good happen to me.

All we need is some life,

To happen to us for a while

When you’re makin’ other plans

Like John Lennon sang

To his beautiful boy

Not a loner, by choice

Not a loser with no voice

Not a loner

Not a loner

Mirror / Mirror

You’re my complementary repression

You’re my unconscious obsession

So you’ve opened up my childhood wounds

Bu the challenge to change my life for better starts and ends with you

With one foot in romantic love

And the other planted, digging in the power struggle

It’s a wonder we’re still here

With the turmoil that we always juggle

I know that I will never grow

If I can’t put together effort that your blueprints show

I know it’s time to heal the wounds

And I’m ready love, to heal with you

Deep inside my soul it cries

It bleeds through this guitar at night

All along I’ve known that you

Are still the one who I am drawn to

Like to ocean to the sky

Mirror / Mirror

You reflect me and

I reflect You

Let Me Just Hold You

Let me just stand here, mesmerized

For just one moment, still

A few steps back from life, on windy edge

Before this floating feeling fades

Until this empty, quiet space

Becomes more forced and filled

Let me settle in this place for now

While rattling flasks and clanging glasses

Pass from shaking hands to frowning mouths

And feel your smile sailing through their crowd,

Of clouded heads and babbling incoherence;

Unwavering in my emerald eyes’ unblinking beacon path

Shining bright on everything

That makes you truly different

Let me hold you gently in my daydream

For this borrowed instant

While I forget that the Earth must run in circles, swirling

Let me call your name out countless times

In one minute of eternity

Before you’re swept away again within the theatre absurd

Our spinning world

Let me just hold you

Let me just hold you

I’m asking you the same

If our love is not fading

Has it already died?

Only our hearts know the answer

Has the feeling left inside?

We used to share a vision

Was it just a mirage?

And we used to talk for hours

Was it only a façade?

Before, we would hold each other closely

Never to feel alone

Now we hold onto fear and anger

Struggling to be let go

You’re asking who you are to me

I’m asking you the same

You ask me who I am now

You say that I have changed

Well I haven’t got the answer

Although, nothing feels the same

and I don’t know who to truly blame

We used to bring each other

Something more to love

If there’s nothing left worth saving

Is this farewell love, for us?

Before, we would hold each other closely

Never to feel alone

Now we hold on to fear and sadness

Struggling to be let go

You’re asking who you are to me

I’m asking you the same

You’re asking who I am again

I’m asking you the same

I’m asking you the same

Cry of the loon

Cry of the loon

Echoin’ ‘cross the bay—ee—yeah

Frustrated man

Getting’ away

Watch him work, through the week

Till he’s dead on his feet

See him crawl, through the door

Then he falls on the floor

Cry of the loon

Shrills right across the lay—hee yeah ache!

Down on the docks,

Getting away

Hear him speak of the things

He did spake

Yesterday

Watch the indifferent faces

Turn to clay

Hey—hee yeah, aye!

Cry of the loon

Shutterin’ ‘cross the bay—ee—yeah

Hard workin’ man

Getting’ away

N’ he dreams every week

Of his Huntsville retreat

Or Honey Harbour, all day

Fishin’ on Georgian bay!

Underneath Fridays’ moon

Calls the cry of the loon!

Cry of the loon

Echoin’ ‘cross the northern bay

One tired man,

Fading away

Fading away

Fading away

Fadin’ awayeeeaye….

My Ol’ Sweet, Tangy Lunch

This Tupperware Kraft Dinner’s getting’ kinda’ old

It’s been in this fridge a few damn weeks

But I don’t see any mould

Just pepper flakes n’ sticky, gunky clumps:

just the cheesy, milky sauce,

I hope

Ahhh, Frig…

‘still cold!

I throw in some more water, oil n’ margarine mix and fry it on the stove.

The Eyes of Jade

Eyes of Jade, in masquerade

In shadows, she hides

Drowning in demise

She’s bound by sterling strands

Sinks in silver sands

Her noose of pearls; wraps tight

Her smiling eyes in minds’ ballrooms; crack her tightly maked-up face

Cubic zirconium

She’s a broken and tarnished imitation jewel, she’s been told

By those nearest, for way too long

That notion was so forcibly sold

To be held though, the concept she can’t hold

She slams her eyes shut to everyones’ appraisal

Like guillotines, that then, will shatter

In the window shopping box, she is a painted mime

Boot-Strap Grandma’s locket lies across her chest

She wears it still, to not forget

Kingdoms crash while legacies last

A bride of her own fear, she weds to disappear

She’s dressed so indiscreetly and smothered in silk, completely

Eyes of Jade, in masquerade

Swaying sound so slow

Like Stradivarius n’ bow

Her violin of sadness shows

Memories in her mind

N’ her body smoothly flows

Now she starts to cry

Eyes closed in possessions’ shrine

Eyes of Jade

A face throws out distaste

Among the walking city maze

The cosmopolites n’ metrozites are full o’ spit of spite

Her makeup can’t erase

She smiles along their way

While plastered pale in vanities geisha jail

Inept inside this purgatory; killing all with phony kindness

There is nowhere she can truly hide in this nasty state of big city sublime-ness

Exits stage left for the sunset

As lake and sky reflect

She wonders where her mind is

Uncertain to the heaven’s she’ll confess

While she looks down on New York

From Lady Liberty

She feels the backdrop glow cast on this aging statue silhouette

Solitary Siren

Forgotten in the wake, of so many mistakes

Frowning, are the

Eyes of Jade

Deep inside

The shadow wife of day

While her torch smolders away

The wind blows out the twilight flame

Descending, she retires

Confined by her denial

Returning to her bed

With washed off sultry smiles

Eyes of Jade

In masquerade

Fade within the plastic promenade

Beyond the gemstone clustered jewels

Egyptian treasure gold of fools

Bereft and bankrupt, now so old

And such old news

Tarnished, grey and sleepy are

The

Eyes of Jade

Beyond the Clouds Today

I know, I can’t be sad

I’ve got to chase my dreams

No matter how uncertain now and difficult just doing seems

Things are not that bad

Compared to what I’ve seen

In darkest alleys

Figurative and literally

For I’m living my own life, only mine that’s truly so

When I am happy, my own way,

The light of day will beam on through

The overcastting clouds today

Away I go

Things are only how I see the change in or perceive them

Loneliness and lack of love can turn my blue-green eyes a colder, headstone gray

If I chose to see the rainy, dark, metastasizing clouds that way

Beyond the clouds,

I have to think away

Cold winds blow in

Frost can form on the countryside

Over hilltops thinking, spirit in me has to fly

Beyond the clouds today

And the light shines

I’ve lain in bed so many lonely nights

I’ve tried to trick my mind in thinking that I need another by my side

To make me feel complete, which is illusion and a devious defense stonewall,

Built up high from fools parade of pride

But really, what I haven’t done and now have come to know

Is love the one who’s sleeping there and burns to hold me close with all his life

And feel him cry and dream with me, alive

The friend who I’ve forgotten, stranded, lost somewhere, he is my soul, my essence and my talent!

He is all that is forever growing, thinking, loving, laughing, crying,

And his heart, for me;

Still beating

My one true love will always care. He smiles for me, a the brilliant sun

He is forever loving me, for, after all, he’s all of me, he is my soul, my heart, my mind, He is ME

And he is who I love so much

Beyond the clouds today

Inlet / Outlet

Wrinkling, rippling, riding in

Breathing, bending, folding seem

Flowing, strolling, streaming thoughts

Feeling

Gliding and serene

Rustling, hustling, wind through reed

Slowly, carefully, keeping hold while wavering, slipping on the rocks

My fishing boat is docked

Scattering, scurrying, up and…Splash!

Circles, swelling, drifting…. Washed out…

Gone.

Swimming, waving, fins through wakes

And diving down, ‘tween rocks where it’s more safe

I’m watching, following, on the docks I overhang

Gazing on the minnows

Sputtering motorboats pass through

While all collections of my drifting, calmed, relaxed schools of streaming conscience shatter and drift away

Settling,

Soothing

Washed out wake

Autumns’ calling

Russet leaves are falling

Floating down the long n’ narrow inlet

From the lighthouse pier, secured now, my mind thinks

Except for waves that gently crash against the crag

All’s silent

At last

How the soft sounds of the seagulls calling and people running in the sand

Will sing n’ sway

N’ echo, while my heart feels joyful memories with balanced beating, one now with the waves and shore

That will never fully fade away

Waltzing with my mind, the call of the wind and the breeze on my body

On this last summer day

Time to move on

You love your house, your Knicks and knacks

You’ve mastered that domain, in fact

The closest people to you, friends and family

May fade in time and drift away,

while you wash the footprints of your grandkids off your hardwood floors,

Then sweep vigorously at the dusty, dirty troubles of anxiety, turn your lights out, close your fancy curtains, sigh away from your husbands touch

He’s given you a house n’ how much that you give, of you, to him, can often go unknown

And if you ever slow yourself, oh, just enough to be there for your loved ones

You’ll find them; wondering - in your yard or just outside your door, “what consumes her all so much?”

With smiles from ear to ear

and music from their hearts for you to hear

There’s laughter as we all will reminisce

Those crazy memories of our years!

But you’re not near

Where is Mom now? I ask my older sister

What is Nana doing in there? Question cousins, all together

“Daddy!” Nana never hugs you

“Doesn’t your mother care?”

“She doesn’t love you that much eh?”

I’m sure she does, in her own special, unique way; I have to answer Taylor-Rae

But your worry’s all that shows

Your worry keeps our minds and bodies, not just yours; a’ whirling ‘round in dust of busy circles

Which your anxious thoughts can never truly sweep away

But we’re all now so much older

And you’re cleaning out your loved ones from your life in that overwhelming way.

Whatever it is

Whatever still hurts?

No matter what’s wrong

Mom, Nana, Friend,

Grandpa Joes’ dear wife

It’s time to let it out, put it behind you, in the past

Where it belongs, for once,

At last!

And breathe!

It’s time for moving on

It’s time to live, in life

Before your life gives up on you

And when you finally put your plates and brooms away,

Cupboards closed and dishcloths wringed

as only you know where they go or only you precisely do

and there’s nothing left, distracting

and when you finally tidy your domain

and are not feeling messy, smeared distain,

the finger smudge and footprints of your family and your grandkids,

then,

When there’s no reason to complain

and this is coming from your wounded son,

our imprints,

may have finally gone

After all your years of worry;

Washing us away,

We may have all, long since,

Moved on

Rich

In character

In self-awareness, self-assertion

Fairness

Rationality

Loyalty

Brotherhood

Communication

Leadership

Dedication

Strength – Having overcome so many obstacles

Enriched

Your students

Your family

Your friends

Your wife

Your athletes and their guardians

In the life-learning process

By the way you reflect their feelings

For they’ve been listened to and understood

Richer

I am,

For having known you

For the example you’ve set;

Your commitment to family, work, your’ self

Your devotion and your balance

You have always been a great friend and a true example

of what a human being should be,

RICHARD

Dad

You were Ray Scott long before I was ever alive

You have always been the benchmark, that towards,

I can only just attempt to strive

I’ve been trying for my entire life to impress you -

Perhaps, this may be true;

(Perhaps, the same for you, that along the way)

From Battle-Street to Edgeford Way, or,

Ray Street North from Abraham Drive,

While not accepting who “I” am inside

You always seem so calm

You make your plans and then move on

You are so brilliant

You can do anything you set your educated and unique mind to,

and yet,

You have the amazing gift to redirect,

Refocus,

give advice and simplify

I applaud you

I am Ray Scott, Junior

I’m the second of two

Sometimes, I feel, I overwhelm and upset number one

With less organized, more scattered thoughts and actions

Becoming much more of a bother than a fully-developed, model son

But it’s been so hard to show you

That in many ways, I have these talents still to share

And my greatest gifts of all,

Have been passed to me from you

You’re a man of mystery and intrigue

It’s amazing, every now and then,

I’ll learn another thing you used to do, when you were young,

or molded with creative hands,

With music from poetic soul and artist’ heart

Then, nonchalantly shrugged off, as if no big deal

while everyone around was stricken with surprise and awe

All grateful to take part in presentations of “Pulitzer prize” worthy performance art

You keep us singing all your songs and needing so much more of you

You need your time and space, I know,

So a magic mind can hear and think

But I can only hope your thoughts fly

‘cross those many skies you’ve travelled,

far and wide,

to visit where your proud and stubborn son still strives, to build his own life legacy

and also, where he now still hopes

he will become a glimmer or a sparkle,

In your shimmering shrine of pride

I’m callin’ For Johnny Hogenkamp

I’m callin’ the home of Hogie

But he ain’t home right now

Ya’sir, I’m callin’ for Johnny Hogenkamp

But he ain’t home right now

We’ll be out here at 29 Abraham;

Playin’ road hockey till the sun goes down

Well, I’ze ulready called Lipovsky

Called, Mason n’ Johnson n’ Rich

Well, I’ze ulreday called Robbie, Lipovsky

N’ telephoned Mason, n’ Jonson n’ Rich

Napper’s already pulled inta’ my driveway, in that Auto-Trade Trans Am, hot rod Stick!

(Ol’ Glenna’s gonna’ Bitch!)

Well, Mikey, he’ll be in the pipes

And me n’ Hunter will have a quick bee-‘rrrr

Davey will puff on a green death smoke

(lay on the lawn cuz o’ spasms, till he chokes)

And I’ll put some ol’ bricks up as second net posts

I’m callin’ the home of Hogie

Cuz ol’ Rayzers’ a playin’ road hockey with all of the guys

Over on 29, slapshotin,’ eye blackenin,’ for-checkin,’

Fred Shwartz pick-up truck side-mirror breakin,’

90 % Johnston n’ 10% luck makin’

Tim Greenfield goal-tendin’ glove-savin’ rock star presentation

A-aye, ee-eh….

Aee-ee aye-eee Abraham……

Drive!

Dum didley dum, didley dum

Dittee dum!

Dittay dum….

Ta Dah!

Oooh…

Hogie!

When we were all very young

We’d set up home plate in the outfield, just beyond second base,

So we could hit homeruns over the “Green Monsters” of the schoolyard fences

We would bend our plastic blades for harder, higher, faster shots as well

So we could score our Wendel wrist-shot ringers – blocker-side, top shelf!

As we age, our blades get straightened and more rules are introduced

Other obstacles and limitations are created too

Preventing us to curve too much or swing too far beyond the fences

Perhaps we all must keep it grounded, shots low, sticks down

Come to our senses,

So all can be run down, cut-off, cycled and deflected

Our infield was, is once again,

“Their” outfield

Sister, Heather

You were always there for me at times when nobody else was

When Mom had to work or had emotionally checked out on us

When Dad left the marriage and his children; questioning in doubt

I had to be the tag-along with you and all your friends

You were parentified and big sister-ized

And given many roles

That I never really thanked you for in the end

But you accepted so maturely,

Responsibilities and tasks

As an adolescent, not prepared, to perform, oh so early

No one really asked,

In those years

But you did your best, to keep your cool

Even when I’d throw my toys, kick n’ fuss

Or ride right home; a’ ratting

When you’d steal some time to hide with friends,

Caughtcha’ smoking once again!

You were just trying to make time to figure out who’s you,

I guess

Looking back, I was just worried,

‘Could still have had your back,

I must confess

You helped to take good care of me

Regardless of who’s’ choice it was

I’m sorry for the insults

And the tears that I have caused

I was an active, crazy boy

But you were always there for me

You’re calm, cool, collected

You’re a person who’s all around, respected

I’m lucky that I had you for a guardian, back then

You were my childhood mentor and I’m proud to call you “friend”

And I thank you now, with all my heart, with love to last forever,

For all you did for me, to help me grow

Even though at times, it seems the distance could be closer

And we’re now, both caught up in the rushing world, n’ so much older,

There’s something, you must always know

From your only younger brother

I loved you, back when we were latch-key children

And I love you still, my only sister, Heather

Look at me now, dear daughter,

Please;

With eyes that are truly listening

Because I’m here for you

And I need you to hear

That I love you so much

And I think of you always

Everywhere I go

It devastates me when you turn your back and walk away

Or won’t even say so much as hello

I’m sorry for the hurt I’ve caused you

Sorry, I know is not enough

Not even a beginning

I love you more than anything, My dear daughter

Forever,

I just want all the sadness, anger and doubt to leave

And I need to see you calmly smile and feel good more

I’m here for you

I guarantee

I’m listening, actively, with empathetic, genuine,

loving curiosity

I’m all ears for you

If you ever need to talk to me

I have high cholesterol. Real big shock!

Is it time to give up wings? Hell No Doc!

N’ all the drive-thru window, fried, n sugar-sweet, tasty things!

My aorta valves n’ blood vessels, n’ colon r’ lined with battery, golden, onion rings!

I’m only 36 years old but I’ve had my share of fatty foods

I’ll have to give up so much stuff and be a healthy dude

‘Suppose I don’t wanna’ heart attack

They run in the fam., this much is true

N’ I don’t want my pipes patched with superglue

And I’m, by far the Scott champion

of saucy-smothered, icing-covered, glazed n’ buttered fast-food,

greasy succulent snacks!

But is that not one ribbon I don’t want pinned upon

my ripped-wide-open difribulatin, surgically incisioned, mechanically operatin’ chest,

While I’m past out, flat-lined, on my back?

Stack of papers…

Turn a page to a moment in time

Fond memories in every line

That I remember so clearly,

Some smiley, some teary

In a page from a moment in time

Act 2012

The modern dance ballet performance, out among our city streets

Has squeegee Black Swan Siera, (scabbed n’ sore with shirtless coward) creepin’

‘round our cars, n trucks; withdrawing, door-to-door

My daughter questions what they do

I shed a tear for her and say,

My darling, she’s so beautiful, “Look at her, so young!”

A princess once, now with that addict she’ll rot away

She’s frantically callin’ the dealer on a stolen cell

She creeps n’ crawls n’ fixes in the alleys of a ballerina’s hell

If she’s not walkin’ the lanes

Then she’s in my basement apartment bathroom; steaming and poking

her few good veins

She’s dirty n’ starving

Blood n’ mud n’ all her stains,

Wash down my shower drain

Intermission

Sleep all day

Then put on yer rags n’ dance your world away

Ever since the very first taste, she was hooked by him

The Devil;

Who is working, so ever presently,

…Hard

To win us over

But where is God!

There is no question -

The Devil exists

But there’s all kinds of questions about God!

Christ! Why the Hell is that!

They won’t leave me alone!

His disciples;

Callin’ in my windows

Writhing, cross the floor, beyond the bathroom door

In every alleyway, ‘round every corner

Just outside my home

Abandoned, desolate, hopeless

No love

They crave him

They’ll show up; looking for money

What’s then my state of mind?

Influenced???

Who will protect me?

Family, love interests, old friends?

Where is God then?

In the middle of the night!

Where is he, out on the streets; fighting

hard?

Has he lost his way?

Satin, be silent!

In the name of…..???

In the shadow of doubt

Behind every bush

Hooded and horking on the sidewalk

Peering

Always creeping in when I’m astray

N’ sleepless

Doubting

Working hard;

Calling my name

Looking to put his thing in me

With his globs of cum n’ piss puddles everywhere

All over the road

All over his dirty hos

Calling, crawling, setting in - right outside my houses’ door

the trance

the dance

Is it God that gives me the strength to kick him and his hookers out of my car?

Before it goes too far?

When my dark and devilishly seductive thinking

Pulls the blinds down

After crawling out of my head

N’ falls ‘round my subordinated body

‘Helpless slave to the outside world, in basement, hiding,

Pulls my clothes down with its’ heavy, depressing, manipulating anchor,

And wraps all around me, as I’m sinking

And it’s heavier than the titanic

Can be colder than the iceberg,

And the midnight sea,

to be warmed by temptations flowing arousal

More clouded than oil n’ blood spills

Screwing me up

Twisting

In the sheets of my sleep chamber

I cannot unwind

It’ll touch me all over

In dirty ways

And feed me alcohol

To keep me a weak victim,

So easily swayed

By it’s temporary game of master and slave

Catch and release

Escape

…the faster my words explode from my mind

the much more rapidly, they burn up before they’re put on paper

And all that’s left, so many times, is ash

There’s never enough time!

What did I even want to say here!

Late last night, in a Blurred, Concussive Haze:

…Bereft and chasing myriad memories

Tracing jigsaw fragments of my short term past, in a dark room;

shaking a flashlight with dying batteries

recalling the M.R.I

while the shorting light switch in my bathroom

flickers and burns with each new frame of mind

I see myself in-the mirror

Light bulbs

Go off

Anxiously

Reflexive

Still some steam

And,

Cloudy

In a narrow, moon dust beam with dust rising

I float, temporarily

Out of this confusing and misleading labyrinth

A puzzle of my own shorted thoughts

Disconnected, like the bulbs above me

I reach, struggling,

To screw back in

A scurry, then a

Fall

To reclaim me

Reginald Wears a Raincoat

Reginald wears a raincoat,

On a sunny, summer day;

Smiling in a window,

Talking away

Rebecca – rocks herself to calmness,

In her treatment bed,

Still,

There;

Rescued – from a funhouse room of sirens n’ shattering glass

And when she’ll close her eyes, she’ll see the lightning flash

That is why she cannot sleep

And why she gives us all a run for our money

Her soaked sheets shrink tightly

Into her clenched, clawing fists

Pulling everything in

Not ever letting go

No mourning

Up all night

Dawn – is out there, in the distance,

The lake and sun are wrinkling

Beyond the cottony clouds, pink hue

and waves of blue

that’s where she dreams away

remembering her country yard n’ linens on the clothesline

how she used to sway while mother’d sing to her

while in her sandbox, she would play

so calm

watching the laundry blowing

when everything was innocent and her parents were alive

 But in this hall!

Bereavement eyes of bastardization scream!

But nobody can see;

The catatonic tramp, beneath the burnt out street lamp, in desolation alley;

Craving, curled up, rocking,

Poor Melanie, is misery

Where all is complex and chaotic,

In alleyways and corridors, the orphan toughens up and closes off

The abused teens’ bleeding hands crumple the letter to the parent,

She will never ever forgive

Such brilliant, poor sponges

They have so many methods of defense

They poke the bears in all the right places

They fix into our minds

We want to trust and love them

But they have already known our kind

And Simone –

He plays the harmonica

In front of the cracked mirror of harmonies and mimicry

For hours;

Wearing someone else’s’ donated boots

Worn n’ scuffed

Second hand, rusty music

Aimless of the routes - roots

Just buskin’

Away

The nine-year artist, with P.D.D

Stands alone

He starts to cry

But, why?

It’s like a reflective cinema screen, or

Cartoon series box set

Where I think he goes and lives

But he always takes me to Disneyland

In between the alleyways n’ corridors

A’ buskin’

Where he seems to leave himself,

To see his tears

He studies the blue period in Picasso puddles where he’ll kneel

And bend to overlook

Fragments and abstract

Splash!

He jumps, then runs off,

Across the field

And I chase

Afraid to lose him again

He stops suddenly

Digs his thumbs into his eyes

I’m scared,

N’ Confused

He screams

We rock ourselves to calmness

In our treatment beds

In alleyways n’ corridors

And in the states of mind, locked in our heads

‘Rock ourselves, catatonic

or to self-medicate

in the frames, within our mind

we’re frozen

on a borderline

we think into a prison

in our deep, depressing cells

our thoughts take hold and chain us

but, not dead

to live, it’s not too late;

to escape

to heaven,

out of hell

Intrigue

what’s intriguing to another

might be

something stale n’ stagnant, but to me,

what is invisible to someone else,

‘enshrined, for my reflexive eye to see

Someone different, from the rest

Well, sometimes, goes for years, or lives, unnoticed

Non-recognized

While continuities’ fashion fads

Still kills the spontaneity of moments,

born to be forgotten

in such popular, anxious, restlessness

Massage

As my minds’ massaged and cradled like a bruised-wing, wounded white dove

In mothering hands of angels’ love

And soothing songs surrounding

I become,

Reflexive

And return

Through triggered, tickled sense-points

And neuropath to find my way

Flashed back to my adolescence and

Moratorium memories

I was a walking contradiction

Seeking membership

Standing in line

Nearly pushing n’ shoving

But finding myself more shoved away

Onto the borderline

Buskin’

In the alleyway

I was a V.I.P in the audience of scrutiny

And all around were those damn mirrors

Of self fulfilling, egocentric, prophesying scrutiny

A shrinking stadium

from middle school to St Paul Streets’ terminals, halls n’ corridors

a squeezing, young addiction

obsession for confirmation

But within that need there lies the word conform:

Just take out the “I”

The most basic and essential the hierarchy

The need to be “Me”

While everyone else, as I now clearly see,

(While laying here; releasing)

Who perhaps felt and showed a unique personality

Ignoring all the cumbersome, indifferent crowds,

Seeing them so inexplicably dull n’ automaton-ized

When, in fact,

I could not truly fathom who they were, inside

And they were just intimidated,

Like me

To know

“I”

Within such all ensconcing

Egocentricity

What’s now most intriguing?

For them

And now,

In - me?

Everything else comes first

Lately, I am being stretched in oh, so many ways

Sleeping in; I drag my ass through hazy, lazy days

So many people are depending on me

I must depend on who I truly want to be

Too tired to try right now to motivate myself

Few things seem real to me, so many,

Are of prime concern

My creativity swirls inside a shell

I’m too busy now to cast coins in the wishing well

Ahh. Ahh.

(Harp Solo)

I try to shrug it off; say, it doesn’t matter much at all

Everything else comes first, I could be headed for a fall

But I don’t care right now, I say into my cell phone voice recorder

My tired eyes are aging, right before me, in the rearview mirror

What is clearer!

Ahh ahh

(Harp Solo)

No more coins and the well is dry

Ah.. Ah…

Droning underneath the smoke-gray, heavy tombstone sky

(Harp Solo)

Lullaby for My Sweet Angel

I’m standing here, at the crib

Where you will sleep

When you come home

To your home

For the first time

Thinkin’ down the road ahead

How many more times you’ll walk through that door

So far away that is

Unknown

I know

There will be times when you’re afraid

Times when you can’t cope

Your dreams may seem to slip away

When some paths lead you astray

But I now sing

I sing, to you

A lullaby

I will be here; to watch you grow

I will be reassuring and supportive for you

And all the things I know and do

I’ll be sharing, joyfully, with you

I will catch you. Believe me!

You know it’s true

At the bottom of the real steep slide

I will let you stand on my sneakers

So your tall enough for the big kid rides

When you’re older and you feel alone

When it’s late, just call, I’ll take you home

When you are somewhat scared, don’t hide!

Together, hold my hand, sweet child

N’ we will sing,

The lullaby

‘Sing a lullaby

I will always

Sing to you

This lullaby

I will

Sing

This lullaby

Warm, smooth miracle

I’m so amazed and mesmerized

Crystal gleams in her eyes

Reflections chime

From the whispering candle light

Sweet symphony

I kiss her lips and I’m so alive

We hold each other close, all night

Shangri-La’s within her eyes

The sighing smoke whirls to crescendo

While the spirit in her calls me, as a cool breeze

Through my open, Caledonia country window

And Grand River carries us away, on an almost endless boat ride

Safely,

Securely,

Sigh

Calling, Calling

The birds, the willow trees

The soothing sway

We breathe

I slip into that magic forever, in that shining space of stars a’ shining high above

And deeply in that ocean of her eyes

Reflecting the watery, calm call, rippling, in a wrinkling light

There’s a waxy, warm, smooth miracle

Happily crying

Our hands hold the candle together

Melting

Molding our hands as one

Holding

Holding

She is the love of

my life;

Flowing and free

With the river

Us three,

Now one

Certainty

Embraced and flowing

Deep into the shadowy unknowns

Of all that is

Around

Within

Out there

And,

to be

Searching for that magic solitude in the undying calmness of the whispering sedation and windy shore of that deep ocean of oneness

Ocean blue, Natalia

‘Think I love you

Allow me to wax in wonder at your grace

Your soft, sweet curves, to feel my full lips, warm breath trace

Each bud and shivery, tingling goose bump taste

The scent of passion

Where we embrace

Neath the trees of Binbrook

Our veins

Grounded to the Earth, yet branching out, everywhere

Breathing

Each others’ breathe

With roots so full of new, intoxicating oxygen and rushing blood

We flow like the river

We are life!

In this poetic dream, I run my trembling finger through her weeping willow hair

‘with shaking hands; reach to this angels’ face to part the braids from her blond veil

And in a supernova blast, her eyes scream jade and amber stardust colour in a sunny Caribbean wave through arctic glacier and aurora northern nebulae

Her arms fall slowly to her side,

While I kiss her softly

like all those bending branches

swaying along the riverside

how these Binbrook trees, along this hwy 56 are reminiscent tears to my blue-green eye

for those long, romantic Dunville picnics and Byng Island evening canoe rides

Let me bow for you and take your hand

In the misty dawn; uncovering

Forests, sighing evergreen

In spirit wind and unity

Allow me to flow along with you

In rivers of calm blue patience

Mirrored

While we float together calmly in our own lagoon of accepted unpredictability

Yet we’re secure

While all around our certainty,

The roughest waves of time-tsunamis

Between us

The only distance is the space we share while listening

Sharing

Breathing

Gently

Lips move closer

All is pleasantly swelling

Clouds and waves and our lips

Parting

Hearts and thunder beating

A sun shower begins

While our raft reaches sand

And we roll into the shore with the tide

And make passionate love in the cool, wet white sands; shining,

And our youthful laughing sounds across the vastness of forevers’ aquamarine sea

How do I express such gratitude to you?

For the experience of you

For the miraculous, wondrous experience

Of simply, basking in the glow of your smile

You shine like a happy sky

Clearly, with freckles and twinkles, endless

From your reassuring, pleased eyes, sending;

A warm, kind, gentle rush of calmness and content

That I yearn to bathe in, like a tropical lagoon, waterfall or hot spring

Forever

You are the last true gem

In a sea of rubble and ash

From terror’s war

Of too many people obsessing over the same things

In confirmations’ conformity

You stand tall

Beaming

Like a giant sun

Through a galaxy of clouded dead stars’ dust

You glimmer and shine and turn ash to diamonds

And recreate life in the earth and sky, all around

Just by being here

Reflecting

And I feel somewhat guilty

For wanting

Am I now too, obsessing?

This is not what has caused the harm they’ve done

This is true love

And what takes me to the perfect kindness and pure creation

In your laughing, brilliant, loving eyes

He must sustain

The ecstasy

Eternal high

What he must feel

Won’t set him free

The pharmacy

Has locked the door

He pounds the ground

With his bleeding hands

Writhes on the floor

In corridors

What’s he good for!

Nothing is real

Out in the cold

All alone

In alleyways

A foggy gaze

And the traffic always turns and swerves

When his heart shrills n’ he stumbles from the curb

And he’s poked n’ punctured every burnt up nerve

And he’s just so cursed

N’ he’s runnin’ from his hurt

Dark black stones

Of the forsaken eyes

So far away from

The man inside

This prescription, he must have refilled

This line’s on hold

At 3 am

He curls up in

The dirty bed

In a downtown room

Fetal cocoon

‘All the lure is sin

‘Consumes his head

Clinging onto his tray of tools

He’s the living dead

He falls asleep

Starving for food

Ginseng pipe in hand, still muttering;

Just one more hoot

The holes are deep

Out on the street

He needs the fill

But it’s just misery

Seasonal Love

What is it about seasonal love?

That makes us weep?

Like naked branches,

Bending in the wind

Of winter

Shuttering snow

We lie to our dearest companions, ourselves

In secret but to keep

Enslaved by our own masked inadequacies

Settling for a caretakers’ role

We’re pretentious in this quest toward dependence and stability

When everything about us

Manifests as inattentiveness and incongruity

Who was it that elected politician; stealing pearls from angry Woman of the Sea?

And named a new tradition, to worship their own legacy

Presenting in binding of commitment on a satin pillow

So symbolic indeed

The marble eye of love

That, within each dawn, glows;

Watching

And in dusk,

Begins to close, so milky

The dream shell

Where have they gone, in worlds where loneliness keeps still

Within the hollow hells of isolations’ curse

And unheard, dying shrills?

Where has the right to be alone, peacefully, with confidence gone?

Have we not desired far too much, scorned by jewelries’’ monetary flare

With all of it, are we not walleyed and blinded,

Entranced from staring at the chandelier shimmering stars for far too long?

Where is change in this world, like an old wooden mill wheel?

Forcing rusty streams to flow

And bloom continuity and congruence

When the very diamond that will bind my right to passage

With the woman who I love and will walk through many thresholds with

Becomes this cold, captivation stone;

Enslaving us in cells of debt

‘Owned by our wardens – the imaginary audience

Wearing on our mind and body

Now, in golden symbolism, fused

Imprisoning our indifferent spirits

Paranoid numb from scrutiny

Sullen in such suffocating, claustrophobia

Of pristine modern marriage myth

Who will bless us if we are not enough to bless ourselves?

With answers,

concrete to obscene?

In living Hell

We’ve suffered only circumstances

Of our own cognitions’ irrational prophecies

Interpreting each sunrise as a tease from God or wickedly unachievable dream

We will continually seek out confirmation for our doubt and self-defeating talk

We will hold strong to our cynicism concepts, creeping in conformist’ seduction high heel –steps-

Together,

We

Will- walk -

For we’ve bound ourselves with modern age, collective super wheels

And we continually suffer cycling mistakes

Our flaw of thought and faltering trust

Instills a certain careful,

Shivering fear

There’s reluctance in reliance

to be a passenger of the force that steers

Can we reconnect and love again?

Amidst the smothering smoke of sensational news;

Quelling creativity and joy

Dispersing toxic listlessness and heavy clouds of laziness and misery

Can we rise again?

Can we even release, be independent, laugh, have ideas, shed a tear?

In failing to remember why we’d meditate in cities that still scream and billow

For progressions’ sake

Persisting in a draining drone

To change, as seasons do

We both forget that we must fight

To ever own

Our fate

Amidst the late evening of winter,

Melting into spring brooks; babbling

I am asleep

Her delicate, misting-mouth trudges

Through jaw -line swerves and curves

Round rugged ledges of my chin

Tangling in the wild weeds of my swampy, sighing face, unshaven

Sticking in the humid, shrubby crevice between,

Carefully,

Continuing

To find landmark

On the warm moistness of my soft lips,

Slightly parted; breathing steam

To paint them, faintly, with a rose petal kiss

And she’s startled there, halfway, in the wet and murky turquoise of my eyes

When the thorns of my anxious minds’ crown deter me while those thoughts sigh

But she reassures

While I blink and smile,

A little shy

We finally kiss

And it’s an emotionally wondrous landslide,

Along sloped hills of sensitivity (soft clay erosion and waterfalls)

Climbs and dives

And peeks and wells

With butterflies

A’ gliding

Transcending space and time

Launched off ecstasy’ cliff, like eagles

Splashing at the end

Then rippling like divine musical vibrations ‘cross a calm wake in a tributary of transition

Like keys or plucking strings

From shale stones’ resonation; skipping

We’re well rested in each others’ thoughts

Just swimming

Playfully

So naked,

Purely balanced, tuned in, then

Floating

Like I,

In her,

She wraps herself in me

As we become flooded in each others’ comfort fulfillment

And the soft wind whirls her fair hair ‘round my head;

A sandy beach blanket veil

Pulls me in, ensconced by all the starry wonders of this lovely night

Where we are so close, together –

One

And our minds, bodies and souls

Are joined

When our eyes collide,

Like stars

And fuse together -

Fiery

And then,

We are alone,

In love and all is truly right

Is this the one?

Her eyes became two glowing moons

Of copper spheres and ember rings with ardent flare

And I

Stood frozen, in bewilderment,

So enslaved

By this passionate and fiery glare

The swelling heat inside those orbs; so waxing,

Soon absorbed me

As if no one else was even in the musty, dark and most deceptive

Tavern room

Clouds of shuffling pretenders, n’ desolate, dead-enders;

Parted way and folded over for

This magnetic force to pull us closer,

Together

Like master and slave

Or two equals?

Almost in a moon-trance

My desire for this hypnotizing beauty whisked me in a gasping, nervous wave

Toward her

Like the lady of the lake; calling

Despite the background warnings of the banshee from those lost out there, so broken

Calls from the desolate, back on the fading shore, in vain

Her seductive grin is now my lighthouse

And she’ll act pleased to fill my glass

And in several million ways, intoxicate me easily and fast

There, I glided, off my feet, through their dead wake

Beneath the billiard table starlight

Into a fusion of the mirages’ safe and mystic solitude and lonely fool’

Love,

At first sight

Within her beckoning smile, breaking through the clouds

Of boredom smolder

Time, for me, stood still and all else just went silent

While her Gypsy eyes did sparkle and she became

Miraculously bolder

In taking on the role of my one master and controller

I reached out, from my captured soul, so desperate and obsessed

To her, like a tree, up to the sun

My fingers stretched and curled, to feel her soft, sweet painted face

I twisted and I turned, as do burnt out swirling comets,

Through dark dimensions plunging

Through galaxies of resurrection; meandering,

Following that trace

Of stardust;

Shimmering in clusters,

Where I’m reborn to chase

When she’ll turn away

Every single time

While made mad by overanalyzing

Every frame of her seducing mind

I’ll follow

Her teasing trail

Forever apologizing

Away I go

Lost, through many black-holes

I have been in search of this

‘Easy victim?

Maybe so

In tavern full of loneliness and need

For not in centuries, I have feared,

That our eyes would finally meet!

Now is this true?

Can she be real?

After all the shortcomings and such pain

I’ve gone through

And endured?

The season fades,

Then is born a ‘new

Let still redeem

My love for you

Will I paddle the canoe?

Will I row with you everywhere?

Will I let us just float

On a wave of time

Till the line of the horizon is gray,

Or, in the calmness of this evening, will we forever stay?

Achieving - while dreaming tomorrow,

After today

Alleyways and Corridors N’ Other Frames of Mind

Buskin’ on the borderline

Raymond J. Scott – Ray Scott, 2012

Aim for 170 plus pages.

Then, forward / prelude / acknowlegements???

Table of contents

Cover

Back page photo etc…

Check annes’ link

And xilibris…be certain of publishing / copyrights etc…